


To die together, so that they may live together

by orphan_account



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Angst, Bernadetta centric-ish, Bernadetta von Varley Needs a Hug, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, M/M, Mutual Pining, My Unit | Byleth Twins, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Trigger warning: holding hands, i cant stop writing dorothea angst im so fucking sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:54:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 50,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21808525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "I'm a vampire but I'm not going to hurt you."Dorothea ignored how appetizing Bernie's neck looked, just as she had been ignoring her excessive hunger for many years. Even outside the novice vampire phase, she was still thirstier than a normal vampire. The blood of animals filled her a little, but she didn’t last more than three months without at least one drop of human blood."In this mansion we live 8 vampires. The ones you found when you opened the door are vamps too." Bernadetta nodded. "But I assure you, we're not going to hurt you.""Okay." She babbled, but Dorothea wasn't sure she had believed her.
Relationships: Dorothea Arnault/Petra Macneary, Edelgard von Hresvelg/My Unit | Byleth, Ferdinand von Aegir/Hubert von Vestra, Minor or Background Relationship(s), past Edelgard von Hresvelg/Dorothea Arnault
Comments: 26
Kudos: 84





	1. Once again...welcome to my house. Come freely. Go safely; and leave something of the happiness you bring.

**Author's Note:**

> it starts with a bit ferdinand/hubert but i SWEAR edeleth and doropetra are the main pairings you just have to wait 3 chapters because byleth and petra are taking a vacation, being a wlw is too much work. Chapter 1 and 2 are mostly angsty Dorothea/Edelgard.

After more than two centuries of immortality Ferdinand could proudly say that he had already completely accustomed himself to all the pros and cons that this entailed. The darkness was now what in the past had been his light, he now took as much pleasure in blood as he had taken in tea a long time ago, and it had been many, many decades since he was last surprised to look in a mirror and not see himself. 

Recently he had found himself surprised when he looked at a pocket mirror (everyone called them “phones”, though) that one of Hubert's victims wore and saw his own glowing fangs and bright red eyes excited by the scent of fresh blood. This recently, of course, was about six or seven years ago, that for a vampire like him who had been living for at least two hundred fifty years was about two or three months.

Hubert, another of the vampires who lived in the mansion and former advisor and right hand of the emperor, was the cause of him waiting in the lobby. The man, tall and elongated, was not what many would call handsome, graceful, much less a proper gentleman. Moreover, he was rude and unpleasant with everyone except the emperor herself, now turned into something like the head of the "pack." 

The mansion in which they lived was her property, the last remaining of her former royal possessions. In a neo-gothic style, it was originally conceived as a small castle whose construction went wrong more than once. 

" _That’s for the best_." Ferdinand thought. It was true that sometimes, with so many people in the house, it felt a little claustrophobic, but getting attention thanks to a gigantic mansion in the middle of nowhere was not something they needed. 

Back to thinking about Hubert, Ferdinand, despite all the comments and rumors about him that he had received and heard in life, and despite the hatred that they had towards each other in their youth, had begun to become fond of him... about two hundred and thirty years ago.

What he had once perceived as cold looks full of cruelty and petty anger were now seen as warm looks full of feeling. His fingers, which had seemed extremely rough, were now pleasant to the touch. Equally his hair, greasy and poorly maintained, was now in a perfect state, with a formal cut but with a bit of modernity. Although the latter had been thanks to himself and Dorothea. 

Who would not went through the same ordeal he was going through, when a man treated him with extraordinary manners, spoke to him in that voice that invited to danger and gave him those shy smiles well hidden by the darkness or by his hand? 

When he and Hubert started drinking together, when he began to bring the blood of his favorite flavors (pork and horse cannot be compared, but for Ferdinand the best was undoubtedly turkey.), and when he began to invite him to talk and discuss with him aspects that were not Edelgard, Ferdinand felt like he was in a cloud. He wouldn't call this love, because Hubert was a man, but it was something very similar. Something similar to what the members of the Sacred Battalion of Thebes had felt, or what Achilles and Patroclus had experienced. He was sure that both of them would fit perfectly into the Dorian society of ancient Greece. 

When Ferdinand thought about his relationship with Hubert, he could only remember those stories of friendship between brothers of different blood that he had read in his youth, so close that thinking about each other made them braver. For him, his friendship with Hubert was like that of Hephaestion and Alexander the great, strong and motivating. 

Immersed in his thoughts, Ferdinand didn’t even notice when the tall figure that was Hubert touched his shoulder to get his attention. 

"Ferdinand." 

"Hubert! Please don't scare me like that.” He put his hand on his chest, a residual gesture of his human life, when his heart was still beating. "Are you angry? I can feel you’re tense.”

Hubert snorted. It was not normal for him to have such bad manners in this regard, but he was suffering from another of his "phases." These phases, or so he called them, were periods of time where he couldn’t stand Ferdinand. He liked to be focused, in his work, in his readings, in hunting. But Ferdinand kept distracting him. It did not help that their friendship had evolved enough to spend time together every day, although this was not difficult, given that they had been living together in the same house for more than a hundred years, and it did not help that Ferdinand searched for him to spend the evening, morning or night talking together.

Hubert was not an idiot. He knew perfectly well, especially with the help of Dorothea and Edelgard, that he was attracted to the other man. The two women had been especially annoying with the subject, and perhaps he answered Edelgard a bit rude at the time he had had his second "phase" and asked for help, about a hundred years ago, but even the woman admitted that she had been a little too insistent.

And even if he knew that this was attraction, he still found it extremely annoying. He wished with all his soul, or what little he had left, that these feelings would have been left behind with his human life. In his weakest moments, when he was alone in his coffin and it was late at night, or when Ferdinand smiled too much after drinking, he was divided between feeding the feelings he hated or getting rid of them completely. 

And, even if he tried to externalize them, let them take over him, it would be... impossible. That's why he found them annoying. He was not like Dorothea, a romantic to the core, nor it was easy and exciting to share what little he felt, like Caspar. If they were not useful, he ignored his feelings. But he couldn’t do that with these.

Lady Edelgard had asked him many times to live a little, with the excuse that they no longer ruled anyone and could do whatever they wanted. Hubert didn’t know if that was a good idea. 

“I am not angry. I'm annoyed.” He replied. 

"Hm. I get it. Can I do something to help you?"

If Hubert had summoned him at this time and he alone, especially him, it meant he trusted him. Ferdinand smiled. Hubert was normally reserved and distrustful, knowing that he was one of the few people he would trust to solve a problem or encourage him, made him feel butterflies in his stomach. 

"Yes. I need concentration. Don’t talk to me from now on.”

_What?_

"What!?"

After all the effort he had made to make the other man smile, teach him to socialize and relax a little... Was he just a nuisance to Hubert?

He started gesturing and opening and closing his mouth, in an attempt to answer something coherent. He shouldn't feel so hurt, Hubert probably just wanted more time alone, but he had worked so hard for the other man to enjoy when they were together…

In an attempt to stop the gesturing, Hubert took both Ferdinand's hands and stared deeply at him. This had been a bad idea. 

“ _What was I thinking?_ ” He should have simply said no when Ferdinand asked him to spend time together. It wasn't so difficult, but instead he had to heed his most childish desires and summon him at night when the rest of the house slept, with the intention of “damaging their relationship as little as possible, because it was vital for the rest of the group”. He hated the excuses he told himself.

The Hubert of two hundred years ago wouldn't have forgiven him.

Ferdinand stared at Hubert's crimson red eyes. The color they acquired when they drank blood, or was nearby. Why were his eyes red? Probably his were too, he couldn't check it but he felt the usual tingling inside.

Hubert's hands, as always, were covered by his gloves, but this didn't stop him from shivering at the contact. A warmth alien to a vampire ran down his cheeks and if he couldn't formulate words before, much less now. 

He swallowed, waiting for Hubert to speak first. He seemed to be in the same predicament, and if it were any other situation, Ferdinand would find the explanations that he would have to give if anyone saw them comical.

Hubert looked away several times, something improper of him. Seeing that he was also at a crossroads on what to say, Ferdinand's spirit rose. It was normal, and even the stoic and always serious Hubert suffered the same as him.

“It's only for some time. It is not your fault."

That was not what he meant. He intended to make Ferdinand ignore him for the next three or five years, not to calm the cries like the ones of a small child he imitates when someone hurts his feelings. 

The smile Ferdinand gave him could light a thousand rooms and more, Hubert thought. He couldn't stop his weakness.

"Sorry to come in unannounced... but it's raining like crazy outside." 

Both men were dumbfounded looking at the small girl who had opened the door. The strange rectangular lantern she carried slightly damaged their eyes, and the girl seemed as surprised to see them as they did to see her. 

The girl let out a shuddering scream as they had never heard before, proceeding to have a panic attack. 

"Sorrysorrysorry! I'm leaving! I'll leave now! Please don't kill me!"

Hubert smiled, this would be his next prey _. “No matter how much she runs, it surely won't be much, I will catch her. It will be tomorrow's dinner, it never hurts to eat more than the essentials."_

Ferdinand stopped him with one hand on his chest, seeing how prepared he was to annihilate the poor girl, and gave him a disapproving look, before the sound the girl's body against the wood of the floor distracted them once more.

She had fainted.

* * *

At no time had Bernadetta intended to miss the bus, much less when it was a humid day and dark clouds covered the sky from beginning to end, threatening rain. She had only left with other girls to rest for a while, and before she knew it, she couldn't open the door of the stall she was in.

At the other side of the door she heard the petty and cruel laughter of her companions, who at first instance had shown a terribly false kindness, a few hours before.

Bernie was aware of the falseness of the whole affair, how little she fit in the group and how bad they knew they made her feel. And she knew perfectly what was going to happen, it had already begun and she had already lived through it before. With the children of her parents' friends before she was considered a madwoman with witchy aspirations and with the children of the nearby park, before she was terrified to leave the house.

First would be the innocent questions loaded with poison, the girls staring at her waiting for a lie-answer to be told that was not as sad as reality. Because they already knew the answer, it was obvious just by looking at her. 

"Do you have a boyfriend?" 

"Didn't you had time to comb your hair today?"

"Your clothes are so cool! Have you always dressed this original? So... geek?" (They used to laugh after this.)

"Do you really like those wide sweatshirts?"

"Oh, you draw? You need practice, but could you draw me?" 

"What do you usually do with your friends?" 

"Who is your crush?"

But it was more fun to watch how she curled up in herself and used all of her strength in maintaining a composure and not crying in front of them. 

The next step depended on how she responded. If it was too apparent that she was uncomfortable by the questions, they would be offended laugh slightly, marking her as exaggerated and repeating: "It was just a question" "you are too sensitive" over and over again. 

In case she was able to maintain her composure, she would still be the group's lap puppy, the sad clown. 

Surely they found it funny, even hilarious, the little trick they had done to her. Among her drowned sobs Bernie could hear the leader of the group assure the driver that no girl was missing. Next, the bus starting, and silence. Silence except for herself, who couldn't stop thinking about how angry her father would be, the disappointment on her mother's face. In the chair in the attic and the leather belt.

A part of her believed, no, she knew that all this was her fault. That a normal person, not a poor fool like her, would have been able to accept the absolutely true expressions of friendship that her companions had offered her and find the trick funny. That she would had been able to answer the questions and not only establish her position as the useless of the group.

She knew that the fault of how they were treating her was hers, and only hers. Her cousins, pedestrians and her parents had reminded her too many times. In her mind, she begged them to stop, to stop the cruel joke and to act really as they said they loved her. But isn't telling your loved ones the truth something essential? They just wanted you to improve, they said. It was her problem if she couldn't take it. 

However, she couldn't stop thinking that she was just a poor victim, a poor victim who just wanted to draw in her room and look at the birds from the window. Make dolls and listen to music from her phone, interact with her Twitter mutuals, those who were kind to her. But as soon as these thoughts began her father's voice returned, "Victimist." it yelled at her, just as he had done on numerous occasions in the past. "You're a fucking victimist." 

Her trembling hands tried once more to open the door. She was still stuck, despair overcame her. She was a coward, a victimist, and a useless one. Her father was right, but she was not going to let the mischief of spoiled girls get her more scolding and beating from her father. 

She had been sent to boarding school to improve, as a student, as a woman (to be marriable), as a person. As little as she was excited about the idea, she feared the punishment much more than any stupid bible they tried to teach her. Her plan had been to go completely unnoticed, and she was already failing. 

_"Stupid Bernie."_

She looked around and noticed a small window, something open, easily accessible if she climbed the toilet. 

_"You can, Bernie!"_ She told herself, and she kept repeating it until hours later, when it started raining while she was following the road. The boarding school could not be far, right?

It was true that the institution was on the other side of the former empire, but she couldn't believe her destination was so far away. It had been an hour since the night had completely fallen upon the field and, without any town in sight, she had to use the flashlight of her phone to see. Unfortunately it was running out of battery, after being used as a music player on the entirety of her previous journey. 

"I had a raincoat in my suitcase." She lamented, thanking that at least she had taren her backpack with some basic things like earphones and charger in it. She could have been in the middle of nowhere with all her possessions traveling at 80km/h ahead of her. 

In desperation she looked around to the sides of the road, looking for a gas station or restaurant. There was nothing.

The only thing she found was the entrance of a farmhouse, the open gate somewhat corroded but not in a too bad condition, like the mansion visible at the end of the road. By the aspect of it she couldn't determine if it was abandoned or not, something that did little to calm her nerves. 

With trembling legs and with her jacket over her head she reached the door of the mansion, knowing that as terrified as she was she, it was her only option to spend the night. 

_"Calm down, Bernie. Surely this mansion is completely abandoned, and nothing will happen to you because ghosts don't exist. This is not the premise of an horror movie, you're not going to get locked up and die in a nightmare. "_

Her attempts to remain calm were of little use, for when she opened the door, muttering an apology, two pairs of bright red eyes looked back at her. 

Like a deer when they are about to be run over they watched her, and she, paralyzed with fear, could not process anything that was happening before her eyes. Two tall men, with sharp fangs and long ears, with bright crimson eyes. 

One stepped forward as if to attack her, and she knew perfectly well that this was her end. She had never thought about living long, but until now she had proudly lived her short life. A life of disappointment, both for her and for all the people around her, who surely would not cry at her funeral and only put on a face of despair, just as they had done until then when she needed help, or every time she had a difficulty. 

Perhaps it was better to die here, in a place far from all civilization, buried on the side of the road. She would have simply disappeared, no one would know of her pathetic death. Yes, dying missing was definitely better than being buried in a cemetery. She didn't want to stain the graves of her relatives, the useless Bernie among the names of great people. 

Also, no one would be able to speak ill of her with her body missing. Yes, dying where nobody knows where she was much better than continuing to live or die in the city. 

Everything turned black, and all she could think about was how painless this death seemed.

"Shit!" Hubert whispered. He had made sure to hide the mansion well, to make it appear abandoned so that no one would approach and go unnoticed. What was this girl doing here? 

"Quick, call Linhardt!" Ferdinand exclaimed.

"Linhardt!?" Hubert said almost offended. "Do you think we're going to be able to wake up... Linhardt!?" 

Ferdinand analyzed the situation for a few seconds. "Get Dorothea up then. But quickly, I'm going to take this girl in and close the door. Who knows if she comes with other people." 

Hubert nodded and headed to the top floor of the house. Normally he didn't obey anyone's orders, much less Ferdinand's, infinite inept, but sometimes he had good ideas. That was sometimes more and more common each day, so Hubert wrote down to reconsider his perception of his partner. 

Standing in front of the door of the singer's room he knocked with his knuckles, once, twice, three times. No response. 

"Dorothea, I'm going in." he announced, finally resigning himself to entering the room, however little he wanted. But before, he waited a few seconds, although the woman wasn't answ-

"It's not necessary!" 

Dorothea, in her old red dress badly buttoned (but still more modern than the clothes the other vampires wore), hurried out of the room of- 

Hubert sighed. He didn't have time for this. 

“We need your help in the living room, a girl has suddenly entered.”

“What? Have this anything to do with the scream I just heard?”

“Let me explain it to you along the way.”

Hubert was not going to comment on Dorothea's behavior, he had already done so many times in the past and the singer had made it too clear that his opinions did not mattered to her. But sometimes he would prefer if Dorothea were more subtle with some aspects of her life. Or more careful. It was none of his business, but he knew that the woman's emotions were fragile, it was not convenient for her to harm herself.

"I know what you're thinking." The woman herself interrupted his line of thinking. “And it's not- it's not that. You know our relationship ended long ago, I was just helping her sleep."

"Helping sleep can be an euphemism to many things, Arnault." He said, thinking of Courbet’s painting.

"Hubie," She stopped on her tracks. "you've known me for more than two hundred years. What kind of person do you think I am?”

Before entering the room, Hubert stared at her. Dorothea looked back at him, her eyes showing the small feeling of disappointment and betrayal. "It's true. Maybe I have been too judicious. I apologize.” 

Dorothea could become desperate for romance but would not pounce on another person. This was just another effect of Ferdinand's distractions, his mind didn't work well.

Dorothea, happy to hear a forgiveness from the man who was not known to repent, returned to her usual smile. Hubert could understand why Edelgard held the singer in high esteeme.

"You're getting softer, Hubie."

"I don't think-"

"Now, where is that girl you were talking about?"

"Here." Ferdinand interrupted. 

The girl, with somewhat swirling and frizzy hair, Dorothea noted, did not exceed the meter and a half. Her clothes were wide and much more modern than those of them living in the mansion, more or less like the ones she had seen the last times they had visited the city. Her face, mostly hidden by her hair and bangs, was calm, although it could be assumed that it hadn't been so much at the time of fright. 

Dorothea decided to approach her to observe her better and discovered that, in addition to freckles, dark circles under her eyes told that she didn't sleep much. 

"If her hair was a bit shorter I would even mistake her for a little boy..." Dorothea thought out loud. “I'm surprised you brought her here, Ferdie, I never had you as someone who does a lot of manual work.”

“Those jokes stopped being funny about a hundred years ago.” He replied, but still laughed. "Do you think she's okay?"

Dorothea checked her pulse and analyzed the poor girl's face. 

"Yes. I will not ask or imply what you were doing to see when she entered, but I advise you to go to sleep. Hubert, you can even help Ferdie sleep if you want, I won't judge you." She said looking at them sideways.

"Needless. He can sleep alone.” Hubert said sharply and left, bumping into a confused Ferdinand on the way. 

"Are you staying with her?" When Dorothea nodded, Ferdinand smiled in relief. "I will bring you a glass of water before retiring to my room."

As much as Hubert insisted on trying to hide what was going on between him and the redhead, and he really tried, everyone throughout the mansion knew well that any day they would wake up to see that the wall between the rooms of the two men had been thrown away. When the whole mansion is said, it's rather Lindhart, Edelgard and her. Petra was not keen on matters of the heart, Hubert and Ferdinand could kiss every day in the morning and it would be Dorothea who would have to tell her what was going on. Moreover, it was what she had had to do when Byleth and Edelgard began their relationship. 

Caspar, the poor fool, was good and energetic, and stopped at that. Byleth, on the other hand, was tremendously intelligent, but not on any subject that required dealing with people. In that regard Edelgard was similar, but at least she knew how to recognize what was happening with the people around her, that she couldn't do the same with her own relationships or knew how to act upon her feelings was another totally different issue. Hubert was intelligent, he was not tremendously negative in analyzing his relationships with others (at least most of the time) but he did not want, or could not, socialize. Linhardt was similar. 

Sometimes Dorothea felt like the only sociable person in the group. Yes, Caspar and Petra were polite, friendly (very important adjective that separated them from Edelgard), and were able to make new friends easily, but emotional intelligence was not their forte. 

_"Maybe that's why we are such good vampires."_ Dorothea thought. Only dramatics with romantic aspirations, like out of a play or an opera would be able to deal with the exhausting life of a vampire. You lose your friends, you can't get out of your rooms much, you are forced to kill humans or at least large animals to simply live. It is necessary to be a very melodramatic person from the start to adapt, and to find this way of life a little comfortable.

"Yes, we are definitely all melodramatics." She thought out loud.

Being alone late at night was not her favorite hobby. It was true that vampires were nocturnal, but when all the windows were firmly sealed there was little distinction between day and night. They had long since become accustomed to the schedule of a human, at least inside the mansion, when they visited the city was another story. Maybe to keep a pinch of humanity. 

And, being alone among vampires, having such human relationships between them, it felt as if they were really alive. As if they were no longer monsters in this bubble away from everyone, as if the mirrors reflected their faces and the silver rings they loved so much could still be used. As if there were still souls inside their bodies. 

Dorothea fiddled with the hem of her dress. She had feared so much the day when her face began to wrinkle, the day her voice started to break down when she sang, the day she would no longer be able to marry, the day she would be old and "ugly", just as it had happened to Manuela. She had loved her mentor from the bottom of her heart, just as a child can love an unstable mother in every way, but her greatest fear had been to end up like her and in the cold, cruel streets. So many dates, so many ways to convince herself that she could be with a man, she just had to find the right one, the one to treat her fairly well, and be his wife, no matter the slavery he submitted her to.

So focused on not ending up in the streets again, in search of a stability that would free her from the curse of poverty, she could do little when the simple life that she wanted so much escaped from her hands and she became the monster with crimson eyes and sharp fangs that she was now. 

" _Another type of curse._ "

She was only twenty-four years old when it happened. Numerous suitors rejected at her feet, at that time she had already lost the few fantasies of living that the opera had gifted her. Little by little she felt more and more like Manuela. 

She wasn't stupid enough to don't notice the _special_ attention she had for women, how much she was attracted to them, but she was smart enough to know that that would not lead to anything in life, and that it was best to ignore it and look for a man. A wealthy one.

Having an affair with a woman was not allowed. There was no rule that prevented her, and surely her closest friends, including Manuela, would see nothing wrong with it. But she needed her suitors and supporters to think she was a normal person. Some of them could be the man of her life, and she could not risk losing them because of her whims of a poor person. 

And so, one after another she tried to fall in love with any man, all who treated her well, but it was impossible. And when she believed that she could endure someone in marriage, when she was able to deceive herself and think that love for a man was the same as seeking friendship, they asked her to be their concubine. Because a poor rat must die like a poor rat, always poor, and always dreaming of something better. 

It was at those moments when she really understood Manuela, and she began to frequent her house in search of evenings in which both told their sorrows to each other between one or two drinks. Dorothea knew well how to control herself, but she understood Manuela, no matter how hard it was to take care of her after she was rejected, or after any day in general. 

When he turned her into _this_ , on that date gone wrong, her first instinct was to continue her normal life. Go to rehearse at the opera, continue with her appointments, keep talking with Manuela. She ignored the tasteless food, ignored the sunburns, ignored how much the sheets were stained after each victim and how much her stomach revolted when she realized what she had done. 

In those old days she had been more desperate to maintain her humanity, she reflected. She still was, hundreds of years later, but now she could at least get up every day without thinking of a method to stop being a monster forever. It helped that the hunger she felt back then had subsided slightly, and her companions. 

When she had just converted she had the thirst characteristic of any novice vampire, and if it had not been for the difficult political situation in the country she would surely have been discovered and executed in the main square in less than a month. The emperor had abdicated and disappeared just a year ago, and despite being somewhat calmer than in the beginning, the situation on the streets remained chaotic.

What she was not expecting was the hand of the emperor herself appearing in front of her, in her state of thirsty madness after trying to control herself for more than a week and a half. She, in her dress shattered by the fight, covered in blood in the middle of an alley in one of the worst neighborhoods in the city, could immediately recognize another vampire superior to her. 

Edelgard and Hubert took her to the building that had been the mansion back then, in the center of Enbarr, where Ferdinand already lived. They explained the situation, her situation, and the dangers she already knew she was in. She had no choice but to accept staying with them, and thus she became the fourth member of the Black Eagles Vampire Force. She assumed from the beginning that the horrible name had been chosen by Edie. 

Despite being with people of her kind, not needing so much blood like on her period of "infant" vampire, and recovering some of her humanity, she still felt like a complete monster. And she was.

When Petra appeared, more or less in the same sentimental situation as her, she had someone to trust all her fears and secrets. The foreigner did the same, and they quickly became friends. 

The three originals that had welcomed her were good and polite, but she hadn't connected so easily with them. Edelgard was nice, very generous, but it took her more than three years to break the ice with her. Ferdinand on the other hand seemed like a complete jerk at first. Perhaps some past experiences that the Duke didn’t remember affected her vision of him, but it was not until after Petra arrived that they began to develop a friendship.

And Hubert ... Hubert was Hubert. 

The only time since then that she had felt so monstrous, so damn, so deserving of a horrible death was… the accidents… and when she went to visit Manuela on her deathbed. After decades of not seeing her, for fear of how she would react, she could not let the opportunity to see her once again pass, the mentor who had done so much for her and that she handn’t thanked enough. 

The expression of dread, terror, and compression that painted her face were enough to shock Dorothea and leave her speechless. What excuse could she tell to her, her mentor, the person who had saved her from the streets? What could she say to beg for forgiveness?

She was a monster, the worst of the monsters, and she had had the audacity to live all these years instead of dying. She saw it reflected in Manuela, all over her face, in her eyes, in the shape of her lips tightly pressed, in her frown. 

"Monster" they yelled "You're a fucking monster." 

But instead, when Manuela turned to her, she only said: 

"So it was you who murdered the curtainer so many years ago? The one who appeared without a single drop of blood?" 

If these words had been said in any other way they would have broken, destroyed Dorothea, they would have indicated the revulsion that she caused on her, how little human she was, the demon she had become. But how she said it, with so much understanding slipping between each syllable, they only denoted mercy, like that of a father who hugs his prodigal son. 

One, two, three tears began to spill over Dorothea's beautiful dress, the best she had, the one Manuela deserved to see. It was so clear to Dorothea now how much she had abandoned her humanity, watching one of her closest friends die right in front of her eyes, but accepting her for the monster she was. 

"I'm sorry." It was the only thing she could say between sobs. "Sorry for killing. Sorry for leaving you alone." 

Manuela had embraced her, accepted her in her arms, just as she had done so many years ago when she was only an orphan in the streets. With small caresses on her head, kisses on the forehead and combing her hair with her hands Manuela did nothing more than the work of a mother who comforts her daughter after she has fallen while playing.

But Dorothea was not human, she was now a monster, a cruel murderous monster, and did not deserve any of this. 

"I was afraid of hurting you. I was afraid you would realize that I can no longer grow old." 

"Shhh, shhh. It's all right." 

"You don't have to die." Dorothea stood up abruptly. "Being like me is horrible but… but you don't have to die. You can stay with me and-" she kept sobbing, she was desperate. The warm look that Manuela gave her didn't help. "And we can make up for lost time. I have a lot to tell you. Do you know that I like women? I don't remember telling you that." 

"Oh, Dorothea." Manuela placed the palm of her hand on her apprentice's cheek, and she already knew the answer. She began to cry louder, her heart as if it were being clenched by a fist. She wasn’t ready. 

She had not felt so much pain since her mother died on that cold winter night so many years ago. She could still remember it with excruciating details and she didn't want to live it again. Manuela deserved to live longer, Manuela deserved a happy life. A pupil who didn’t ignore her and all the love and attention that the world could provide.

"My lost sheep ..."

"Don't talk like that, please. It's not like you." 

Both laughed slightly, a small moment of happiness in a sea of emotions, before Manuela started coughing. With each cough Dorothea's blood froze more and more. If only she had visited her before...

It was at that moment that Dorothea began to hate death. The same that she so easily imparted, but the same one that with the same ease took the last of her living loved ones. And maybe it was a punishment for her demonic being, she came to think much later. 

"I am already prepared for death. I have lived long enough. The only favor I can ask you is to free me from my suffering here and now."

That day was the only time Dorothea killed without the intention of feeding. The interaction left her broken inside, emotionally damaged in more ways than she wanted to admit. Having to see her die, having to kill at the request of the last human person she had left in her life had marked her more than she would ever tell anyone. 

Petra noticed, as did Edelgard, Ferdinand and Hubert, but they were not able to comfort her. They tried, and she was tremendously grateful for that. If it hadn't been for them, for their attempts to cheer her up, however small they were, and to understand her, she wouldn't know where she would be now. 

Surely in the same house, but much more isolated. She hadn’t got over it, but at least she could ignore it most days. 

Edelgard had said some cryptid things back then that left her wondering how much she could relate, until she learned who was Byleth and how she was turned.

Today, many, many decades later, Dorothea did not know if she would be prepared to deal with a human again. The girl, so young, probably wasn’t over twenty. At the time Dorothea was born she would be a minor, but it was possible that in modern times, with eighteen as the age limit, she was legally an adult. 

She could check it in her wallet, but she preferred to wait for the girl to tell her.

" _I hope her initial reaction to me is better than her reaction to Hubie and Ferdie_." She thought.

With little more to do than looking at the cobwebs, she chose to take out a book from the extensive and ancient library of the mansion. They began to collect books the first month they all moved to this house, finding the books that the library already had boring and not of their taste. She had personally filled up the romance and theater section, but little by little she had become interested in the horror or science fiction books that Caspar and Linhardt liked so much. 

When the girl began to cough sharply she was so surprised she dropped the delicate book to the floor, soon ignored when the singer approached the small girl to help her sit up.

Dorothea struggled to return her eyes to normal, the green that they were normally supposed to have long gone when she was overcome by sadness, and tried to turn her ears into those of a human. She hid the fangs as much as possible with her lips, but there was a limit on which a vampire could resemble a living. 

At least they had remembered to light a candle to pretend they needed it. 

As soon as the girl realized that someone was with her, she screamed again, damaging the singer's sensitive ears.

"Calm down! I won't hurt you!"

"Pleasedon’tkillmeiwasjustlookingforshelter!” She stammered quickly. 

It took Dorothea a few seconds to understand the girl.

"I'm not going to kill you. Why don't you try to calm down and tell me your name?" She said, offering her the glass of water Ferdinand had brought. 

"My name is Bernadetta." The girl whispered. If it hadn't been for her sharpened vampire senses Dorothea wouldn’t have been able to hear her. 

"Well Bernie, I'm Dorothea." She extended her hand. "Can I call you Bernie?" 

Bernadetta nodded. This woman contrasted greatly with the first thing she had seen when she entered the mansion, but that same contrast made her distrustful. Why was this woman so kind and beautiful in such a gloomy and terrifying mansion? Why did she treat her so well? 

This was a nightmare that brought together her two biggest fears, Bernadetta concluded. Girls being cruel to her faking friendship, and places that look out of horror movies. She couldn't wait to wake up. 

"How old are you? How did you get here?" Dorothea continued with the interrogation ignoring the scared lamb face of Bernadetta. 

"Eighteen. I was going to my new school when they left me behind, and it started to rain."

Gradually Bernadetta raised the volume of her words, showing that she felt a little more comfortable. " _Good."_ Dorothea thought. Bernadetta was just thinking that, if she told the woman everything she wanted, she could escape alive.

"What kind of person abandons a student on the road?" She asked, almost offended herself for what had happened to the girl.

"I don't blame them! Some classmates locked me up and I didn't escape fast enough." 

"I don't like your classmates." 

An awkward silence made its way into the room. Bernadetta was still more scared than ever, and as much as Dorothea took pride in her social skills, she didn't know how to calm the girl. The lack of conversation didn't do much and Dorothea swore she could hear Bernie start hyperventilating. 

"Hey." She tried to get her attention but it was in vain. 

Bernadetta was sat up, with her head bowed tightly gripping the blankets Dorothea had placed in case the cold of the mansion affected her. Tears began to form at the corner of her eyes, which slowly fell on her trembling lips. 

"Sorry for entering your house without permission. If you want to kill me you can do it." 

Dorothea took her hands firmly and tried to make eye contact. Her intention was to calm her down, but Bernadetta was just avoiding her. When their eyes met, Bernie let out a little shriek and looked away. For a few seconds Dorothea had allowed herself the privilege of ignoring that she was a monster. She looked away as well, it was clear that she was not going to calm her by showing her soulless eyes. 

"Bernie, why do you think I would want to kill you?" 

"Because I am in a dark and gloomy mansion, lost where there is no one and..." She paused for a breath.

"And…?"

"And you are a vampire.”

_What…?_

Seeing the perplexed gaze of Dorothea, Bernadetta only got more nervous.

"I'm sorry for assuming you are a monster! But ... you don't have a shadow... and your fangs..." 

It only took Dorothea a few seconds to come out of her amazement, first covering her fangs and then taking Bernie’s hands in hers again. How much she had tried to hide her monstrosity and how easy it was to notice it... She had long since ceased to be a person to be a beast, and she liked to pretend that she was already over it, but in instances like these...

"You're right, I am vampire. But I was hoping it would take you a little longer to realize." She smiled ignoring Bernadetta's look of terror. 

It was not the fact that she was facing a vampire, a monster that drinks the blood of humans, that terrified her most, but all aspects of human courtesy and sociability in which she was failing. She didn't know if the vampire's kindness was to create a false sense of confidence and then drink all her blood, but at least it was helping her calm down a little. She was still panicking about having almost insulted the woman, apart from not knowing how to have a normal conversation.

Surely the woman thought she was useless girl, a spoil of society. Also, the obvious beauty of the woman in front of her only plunged her more into her anxiety. If there was someone whom she didn't want to disappoint, it would be this person, but that was what she was doing.

" _As always, Bernie. Always being pathetic_." She thought to herself.

Dorothea withdrew her hands after a small pause where neither of them spoke. Bernadetta was focused on calming down a little more, while Dorothea planned how to explain the situation. 

"I'm a vampire but I'm not going to hurt you." 

Dorothea ignored how appetizing Bernie's neck looked, just as she had been ignoring her excessive hunger for many years. Even outside the novice vampire phase, she was still thirstier than a normal vampire. The blood of animals filled her a little, but she didn’t last more than three months without at least one drop of human blood. 

She tried to make her attacks ethical, without killing if necessary, but the thirst was still there, as a permanent memory of her condition, no matter how much she knew how to control it. Edelgard and Petra helped tremendously with the matter, and Dorothea didn’t know what she would have done the last two centuries without them. 

"In this mansion we live 8 vampires. The ones you found when you opened the door are vamps too." Bernadetta nodded. "But I assure you, we're not going to hurt you." 

"Okay." She babbled, but Dorothea wasn't sure she believed her.

"I would advise you to sleep a little longer and if you feel like staying, I will introduce you to my housemates in the morning." Dorothea finished, trying to enlarge the smile she had been giving the scared girl. 

Bernadetta did not complain, despite being sure that she would be killed while she slept. Somehow it didn't seem like a very bad ending for her. 

When Dorothea checked that she was sleeping, she closed the book that was still open on the floor and settled into her chair. It was going to be a long and uncomfortable night.


	2. An idea that I was slowly sinking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernadetta gets introduced to the house and Dorothea and Ferdinand have to deal with their feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bernadetta is a closeted lgbt kid you cant change my mind

Every morning of the last two hundred years of her life had proceeded in much the same way. 

Waking up in wet and sweaty sheets, wait for her breathing to calm down and check the time. If it was dawn, she didn't move and tried to fall asleep again, all in vain. If it was just a little early, or a normal time to get up, she tried to make the best possible bed with the crumpled sheets.

If she had slept that night well (in the same bed as Byleth or Dorothea) things were different, she was able to talk to someone about her continuous nightmares.

Dorothea was empathetic, sensitive and... the best friend she could have. Her soft hands that had never been harmed in the war, without the scars, unlike hers, caressing her face after a bad dream were enough to make her cry with happiness and relief. Dorothea was the constant reminder that Edelgard deserved to have good things in her life. She cared so much for her that Edelgard felt guilty of not being as open emotionally or physically as the singer. 

A long time ago, sleeping together had been a custom, even before they had been girlfriends. Edelgard longed for those wonderful years, so precious to her. She wouldn't repeat them again, she no longer felt the same, but she didn't regret any second of those moments where she had pretended that she deserved that. 

Perhaps, if it had not been her first experience, it would have been better. Not that they had ended up in bad terms, not in any way, but the months after the break-up had been somewhat… uncomfortable, to describe them in some way. Dorothea had deserved better than Edelgard, 100 years ago.

In Byleth's case, she provided her with… other needs besides the emotional one. She was not as intelligent in the social or emotional sense as Dorothea, and when managing her own emotions she was more like Edelgard than someone who dealed with them in a healthy way. But that only made them understand each other even more, after all the effort that each put on their part to make the relationship work. Most of the time it was easy, she just needed to get carried away by her feelings (something in which she had improved notably over the years), But when ancient terrors resurfaced and reason slept, giving way for the monsters to disguise themselves, she found no other solution than to lock herself up. 

The next step of her morning routine was to comb her hair, carry out the various care it needed, and make her two characteristic buns on the sides. Caspar had long ago told her that it looked like a character's hairstyle from one of those new ways of watching the opera, the cinema, the humans had called it. According to him the character was a princess of a galaxy... Maybe she should have gone to watch the movie with him and Linhardt, but she hadn't wanted to ruin their date. (As much as they refused to call it that.)

After her hair, she undressed herself from her pajamas nightgown and put on one of the dresses she had accumulated during all the centuries of her existence. All below the knee, of course, and in the remote case that they left some skin to be seen, she combined it with stockings or pants below that covered the rest of her body. 

Occasionally, when she didn't feel the cruel world of her regrets collapsing on her and was able to keep a foot in reality before interacting with any of the people in the house, and especially when she was with Dorothea, she put on a little makeup, or Dorothea did it for her. Edelgard was not the biggest fan of the hobby, but she could appreciate the practical applications it had to hide the Imperfections of her face that could cause concern in her friends and its artistic potential. 

Thinking about the singer, she was totally sure that she had calmed her when she had been woken up by a terribly bad nightmare. She hadn't fully awakened at the time, the singer appearing in a badly buttoned dress (probably put in a hurry by worry) and terrified by the screams of the vampire. She thought she remembered that Dorothea had stayed, but it would not be the first time she thought she had slept alongside someone and had woken up alone.

What was definitely not in her mornings was to go down to the ground floor of the house, find a burning candle, something that was already out of the ordinary because they saw perfectly in the dark, and find a totally unknown person asleep on her sofa, while her ex-girlfriend slept in the most awkward position possible in the chair next to it.

_ A deep breath. _

The smell of the unknown girl told her she was human. If that was the new prey, Edelgard would have to talk seriously with Hubert about where he got the blood they consumed. She decided that the best thing she could do was ask Dorothea for explanations. 

"Hey." She whispered touching her arm gently. She wanted to wake Dorothea up, not the girl too. 

"Hmmm?" Dorothea replied after several attempts by Edelgard. "Edie ... What's the matter?"

_ "God,"  _ Dorothea thought. She would never get used to waking up seeing Edelgard's face. All her facial features... with her heart in her throat she sat up to listen to her better.

“I would like some explanations for the unknown person you have sleeping on our sofa.” 

“Ah, right.” She swallowed. “She entered the house yesterday, she is lost. Hubert and Ferdinand found her."

"I see."

"Her name is Bernadetta. She didn't tell me her last name, she was too nervous.” Continued the singer after a break from Edelgard.

Dorothea was currently in the midst of a whirlwind of emotions that she could hardly identify. She had a great appreciation and love for Edelgard, as well as gratitude for welcoming her in her worst moments. But the feelings of guilt and regrets derived from their truncated relationship, which she should have overcome a long time ago, just as Edelgard had done, combined with her need to hide these feelings from the aforementioned caused her nausea and a feeling of being ready to explode in a sea of tears when she was at her weakests.

Her savior approached to examine the girl and the worst of monsters could only observe with a heart shrunk in her chest. 

“Convince her to stay for breakfast, I beg you. I will send Hubert and Ferdinand to buy human food, I don't want to look like a bad hostess."

Dorothea tried to give her the best smile she could. "Of course, Edie!"

And that's how both men saw each other in front of a twenty-four hours open store dressed in the most modern way possible.

“Let's get in and get this over with quickly, I don't want to take part of your time.” Ferdinand smiled.

Hubert couldn't regret more trying to solve things. He knew perfectly well how Ferdinand would take it, he knew perfectly well that he was going to offend him. 

Part of him wanted to pretend that all that bothered him was the childish and immature attitude of the other man. However, deep down, he knew that the truth was that what really put him in a bad mood was to have hurt Ferdinand. If only Ferdinand bothered to understand what was happening...

No one spoke much inside the store, except to try to guess what the things they were taking were or what the girl would like. When they approached the cash register Ferdinand made a joke about modern food, as it was difficult for them to understand new trends, but the moment of relaxation did not last long. During the way back, although they could have transformed into beasts and returned quickly to the house, both remained in their human form. 

Ferdinand felt that Hubert wanted to say something, an apology, the one that he wanted. He also wanted to talk to him but his pride prevented him. He couldn’t be again the good-natured who lets people do whatever they want with him. This time he had to stand firm. At least until he could ask Dorothea for help.

Hubert on the other hand was analyzing the best ways to apologize without really doing it. It was true that he wanted time for him alone but perhaps it had been too… rude He had already apologized once today to the other man. 

"Ferdin-"

"Hub-"

They both looked surprised. 

“Please, you first. Sorry for interrupting you.” Ferdinand smiled politely.

“Today I was a bit lacking in manners. I apologize again. But it is true that I would like some time for myself in the coming months.”

“I can understand that. But you don't think that making me wait in the hall when everyone sleeps to tell me that is something strange?”

_ “ It is, _ ”Hubert thought. " _ But I secretly had other intentions." _

“I appreciate the time we spent together so I didn't want you to succumb to sadness when I refused your offers to spend time together. I was just avoiding future damage in our relationship. ” 

“I understand. I apologize for my behavior, the lack of time with you would not have the effect you believe in me. We will continue to live in the same house, have dinner and breakfast together. Besides, I have the rest to keep me company.”

That was true. Hubert didn't know what he was thinking when he had predicted the other man's reaction so badly. He was not so important to him, the growing obsession was not reciprocated. Perhaps he had had dreamed too much while trying to pretend he hated him.

“We should not take longer, it is dawn. The ground ahead is a bit slippery, give me your hand.” Ferdinand suggested.

“S-sorry?”

“The terrain ahead is somewhat slippery, give me your hand so you don't fall.”

Never in his life had his cheeks been colored so red. Was Ferdinand aware of what he was asking? No, surely not. It was innocent, so they wouldn't slip. A logical solution, it was he who was exaggerating everything. 

"Of course, it is not ideal for the food to fall with us."

Ferdinand could assure that there was some happiness in Hubert's expression when they joined their hands. Did he like physical contact? He didn't have the other man as someone who liked it, but the same thing had happened with Edelgard and the problem had been a totally different one, not being used to it.

If Hubert secretly liked physical contact, Ferdinand promised himself to give him whatever he wanted. Seeing the other happy man, in some strange way, made him feel happy too. 

What also happened was her eyes changing from orange to scarlet, just as it had been hours before. He didn't know if the same thing had happened with the gold of Hubert's eyes, he would have to turn around for that. He tried to take a look, but the other man’s face was downcast.

An idea ran through his head.

_ Maybe... _

"We've arrived." Hubert said, abruptly separating his hands. Ferdinand could see that he was still blushing, so he didn't take it as an offense. 

Edelgard met them at the entrance, offering to prepare the breakfast for the girl. Hubert followed her to the kitchen, saying something like "I can't let the old emperor stain her hands like that.", While Edelgard rolled her eyes. 

Ferdinand for his part went to look for Dorothea. The woman had been somewhat down lately, and he knew that some gossip would encourage her. 

He found her where he had left her, sitting in the living room in front of their strange guest. In her hands a book, and next to her the MP3 they had bought about ten years ago for her birthday. The music was loud and it didn't seem like she was paying much attention to the book, Dorothea submissive in her thoughts. 

"Dorothea."

"Ferdie! I didn't expect you to come back so early." 

"The purchase was quick. I have noticed you are quite... disturbed. Are you okay?"

Dorothea dropped the kind smile she wore and for a few seconds she was self-conscious, vulnerable. Immediately after she smiled again. 

"Yes, it's the usual. And you?"

Ferdinand took note of trying to bring it up again later. Dorothea had rejected him now, but Ferdinand could guess what it was. Dorothea was one of his best friends, and as much as she insisted he couldn't let the melancholy and loneliness consume her. 

"Somewhat... confused about certain recent events." 

This seemed to encourage Dorothea, who had captured the gossip tone perfectly. "Oh? And do those events have something to do, by chance, with a certain vampire of a dark and sharp character, with black hair and yellow eyes?" 

Ferdinand was kind of offended to see that she had guessed immediately what it was. Was he so predictable? 

"Indeed," he said, taking a chair and sitting in front of the singer. 

"Start speaking them."

"Well..." Ferdinand took a breath. "Do you remember when you advised me to spend more time with Hubert to strengthen our friendship? After telling you about our hunt together?" She nodded.

"I remember you thinking too much about whether he liked you or not, and desperate to spend more time with him, with the excuse that you wanted to know him better since at least the times of the empire. Why this now? That was over a hundred years ago."

" We-Well, maybe I wasn’t so desperate... But I had tried to get close to him emotionally, and I needed a push from you back them. For this I thank you, since then our friendship has gone pretty well Every Tuesday and Thursday we have some tea and coffee together, respectively, mixed with a little blood. Always at four.”

"Also, you spend more time together when you two go to the city, talk to Edelgard or hunt, if I'm not mistaken.”

"Exactly. But yesterday, after spending only half an hour drinking his coffee, he hurried to his room and summoned me in the hall tonight. That's why we were awake when the girl came in. ”

“ Bernadetta.” Dorothea interrupted, looking at him incredulously. "Her name is Bernadetta." 

In a way it was funny to see the two men tip toeing around their feelings, but it was also terribly sad. If only Hubert were to accept his feelings and tell Ferdinand... Although perhaps it was for the best he hadn't done it yet, considering that Ferdinand wasn't even able to identify his own feelings of love. Edelgard and Dorothea did everything they could to help them but they didn't want to get too much into their lives, nor assume anything. Giving Hubert false hopes was something they refused to do, the man would close even more emotionally if the only hope, even if he didn't want to admit it out loud, that he had romantic love was truncated and turned out to be all part of his imagination. On Ferdinand's side, no matter how obvious he might be, they couldn't assume anything. It was the man himself who had to realize.

"Fine, Bernadetta." Ferdinand sighed. “But returning to the subject at hand, Hubert wanted to see me in the hall. I assumed that he had a problem or something important to tell me, me summoning me late at night, while everyone sleeps. I was proud, happy that someone like Hubert was able to trust me to tell me his problems. But it looks like I was just making sandcastles in my head, because he soon revealed the truth and destroyed my fantasies just like a strong wave does. He told me to leave him alone, to stop bothering him.”

“Excuse me?” Dorothea sounded offended.  _ "What was Hubert thinking?" _

"Well, when he appeared he seemed kind of mad at me... I didn't know what I had done to be treated like this, after trying so hard to help him relax... But that's not the important part. On the way back from the purchase we talked, he just wanted some more time for himself, but he doesn't know how to say it kindly. You know how he is.” Ferdinand laughed, trying to soften Dorothea's anger at the other man.

"I know Hubert but still..." the singer thought of talking to the man, asking him why his strange behavior. 

“The important thing is that when he told me that I started gesturing, I was speechless. Hubert took my hands and something happened that had never happened to me.” 

“What was it?” Dorothea could see a little blush on Ferdinand's cheeks, something that caught her attention. So far the conversation had been predictable, what could have happened?

"Our eyes ... our eyes turned crimson," said the redhead, with the typical shame of a child who admits to his mother a mischief, in a low voice. 

Dorothea could only respond with a contained laugh. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry. At this point Ferdinand could tell her that all this had been a bad joke that had lasted for years and she would believe it because of the absurdity of the whole thing. 

“Our eyes, those of vampires, are not only red when we eat or go hunting for prey. Other emotions besides adrenaline and gluttony can show that monstrous part of us. I thought you knew this.” Dorothea was testing the waters. 

Ferdinand nodded, looking away. It was evident that all this for him was a real headache, something that made the singer feel between tenderness and sorrow. If just thinking about the possibilities created such anxiety for the man, it was that his situation was much, much worse than Hubert's. 

Dorothea couldn't blame him. All of them, living memories of history, had been raised in an environment and ideologies very different from modern ones. And, although it was true that all of them had become extremely well accustomed to modern times by some factors, it was not the same to be respectful of the people around you that, well, admit that you are an _ effeminate bitch.  _ (Just as Dorothea had heard Ferdinand’s father calling the men who loved other men, according to Ferdinand himself.)

"I have seen your eyes turn red with lust, when Edelgard and... other women." Ferdinand began. “But what I felt was not lust. In the hall before, and when we have returned holding hands… It wasn't that what I felt, I am very sure.”

“ H-have you two come back holding hands? ” She replied incredulously.

"Yes, the road was narrow and it was difficult to walk." He said, as if it were something very obvious.

"But you could have flown back, like bats, perfectly... or like fog..." Dorothea whispered.

“Anyway… Our eyes don't turn red with just lust. I'm surprised you think that, what kind of person do you think I am? ” 

She was used to people thinking like that about her, but coming from a friend made her heart shrink. She believed that her people understood her, and understood how she was instead of making a judgment based on smoke and rumors about her person. 

“Any strong emotion can have that effect. It also depends on the person, for example Caspar often happens to be so excited that his eyes transform. Melancholy, thirst, lust, happiness, sadness… If they occur with enough intensity, our eyes will be red.”

Dorothea looked into his eyes in the same way that a doctor looks at the relatives of a patient who has just died. This situation was supposed to be happy, but to see the other man so confused by everything, after everything he believed about himself and the understanding of his person were destroyed... She could only feel sorry, and try to relieve Ferdinand, who looked at her like a puppy that was just kicked.

"Ferdinand, don't you think..." She didn't deign to finish the sentence. This must be Ferdinand's moment, she should not interfere. It was he who had to say it out loud, for the first time, and once and for all. Although they both knew how the sentence ended, Dorothea waited for the man to respond. 

Ferdinand swallowed, and could only look away. All this was too sudden for him. The silence was not uncomfortable, but empathetic in the most tense of ways. Luckily, Edelgard entered the room, looked at them in confusion, and announced that breakfast was prepared. 

The man rose hurriedly, following Edelgard to the kitchen, while Dorothea remained in her seat. 

"Don't tell anyone, I beg you." The man whispered. "First I have ... first I have to acept it."

Dorothea nodded. 

She waited a little before following him, still having to deal with her own feelings. She listened to a couple of songs on her old MP3, she looked at Bernie and, with a sigh, reasoned that it was best to ignore them. 

In the kitchen an insulting breakfast was prepared for the noble standards of her time, but large and lustful for an orphan like she had been. By modern standards she assumed it was normal. 

Hubert was doing the last preparations in a pancake tower, next to Ferdinand. He was trying to help him, but more than anything he was hindering him, both crashing and their hands brushing constantly. Hubert looked annoyed, blushed but annoyed, while Ferdinand did his best while his cheeks were completely red. 

As soon as Dorothea entered, Edelgard pointed to the two men and gave her a confused look. This behavior was normal for Hubert, but, for Ferdinand?

Dorothea gestured with her hands and whispered an "after." 

After nodding, Edelgard spoke out loud.

"This is the best we have been able to do. The rest of the house has not yet risen, it is early, and Hubert and I are not ... the best cooks, to put it in some way." She took a breath. "But I think this will please our guest."

"I can see your effort, but hasn't it taken you too long?"

"We had to wait for the mobile phone to charge." Hubert interrupted, pointing at the device with his chin. "We haven't used it since last week, when Petra called." 

Ferdinand looked confused. "I still don't get used to calling a pocket watch “phone.” “

They had already had the same discussion numerous times, so everyone ignored the comment.

"Doing this has also taken us some time. WikiHow is always a valuable tool to keep us up to date in these changing times, but it’s recipes are not the best." 

Dorothea still remembered a few years ago, when they had to guess and hope to get right the most mundane things in modern life that could, or could not have changed since their century of birth. 

In addition to wikiHow, Yahoo Answers had been helpful.

"I think we should wake Bernadetta up and give her breakfast now before everyone… before Caspar wakes up." 

Everyone in the room nooded.

The one in charge of waking Bernadetta was Dorothea, and the girl, seeing the four vampires trying to give her the warmest of smiles but getting little more than an archaic smile, terrifying in the case of the black haired man, and too formal, in the case of the albino woman, could only let out a squeak. 

"You have decided to kill me, right? First you are going to make me fat so that my blood is sweet and then you will eat me... like the witch of Hansel and Gretel." 

"We're just trying to be hospitable. Contrary to popular belief, vampires are friendly." Ferdinand spoke. 

_ "Sometimes."  _ the four thought in unison. 

"I think they haven't introduced us. I'm Edelgard von Hresvelg, the owner of the house. We've prepared this breakfast for you to feel comfortable." 

Bernadetta looked confused. Had she heard well? Edelgard von Hresvelg... she wasn’t the best student, but that last name was undoubtedly that of the former royal family. 

While Bernadetta did not believe who was in front of her, Edelgard slowly brought the plate with the pancake tower closer to Bernadetta while trying to smile, creating an uncomfortable environment for both. 

"Edelgard ... Edelgard von Hresvelg, like the last emperor?" 

"Not like the last emperor. She is the last emperor. Show more respect." Hubert interrupted. 

"Behave, we do not want to scare her." Ferdinand protested. 

If she was the emperor, would they be her two ministers? Bernadetta swore to have seen their faces in the pictures of the history books ... And Dorothea, Dorothea had the same face as the diva of that cospiracy she had seen so long ago on the internet! 

Her breathing began to accelerate. She was not alone in a mansion full of vampires, but these vampires had been important. They had been people with great influence in life, and surely they still were. If these were the ones who were receiving her, who would be the other vampires who lived in the house? Kings, dukes, famous inventors? What more characters in history had not died, but instead had transformed into monsters?

"Thank you for welcoming me in your home, your Majesty!" She tried to make a reverence while sitting on the couch. Edelgard looked at her uncomfortably. 

"I have not been royalty for countless years. Now I am a citizen, like you, like Hubert, like Ferdinand and like Dorothea." She said pointing to the respective people. "I didn't work so hard to destroy the class system so that I would continue to be treated preferentially." 

"Okay." Bernadetta nodded. Dorothea offered her breakfast again and this time she accepted. 

She remembered her father's history classes, the parts of the war against the church. After much blood and sweat, the Emperor had killed the false goddess, unified Fódlan alongside the king and the leader of the alliance, and achieved her goals, and the ones of her comrades. At present Fodlan remained unified, although its territories were officially federated states with their own government that worked alongside and took orders of Fódlan’s one.

After taking a few bites, Edelgard spoke again. 

"You have told Dorothea your situation and name, but you haven’t told us. There are more members in the house, but we haven’t woken them up so that you are more comfortable in this situation, but you will not have to repeat the same thing you told Dorothea to them. Unfortunately, you will have to repeat it to us. "

She was terribly tense, but she couldn’t faint at such a time. Deciding to focus on food rather than what she was telling or where she was, she started. 

When she finished, the vampires in the room looked at each other. 

"So you come from a family of old nobles, by your last name." Hubert was the first to speak. 

"Yes." Bernadetta whispered. "The nobility no longer exists, but we still have enough economic power... and targuably political, thanks to the money. " 

"The money." Edelgard said to herself, almost angry. "A great failure of my objectives... I never thought that ending the old regime could lead to the current system, as lacking in morality and rotten as the previous one. Dimitri and Claude tried to fix it a little more, but we did everything so quickly…”

"Aw, Edie. you did the best you could, you were revolutionary." Dorothea laid her hand on the Emperor's, her face a little flushed. "No one can know the future." 

Edelgard looked touched, almost breathless. "Thank you." She whispered. 

"And well Bernadetta, do you want us to leave you to the nearest city? You can take a... bus, I think they are called that, from there to the boarding school." 

That was her plan when she had filled herself with courage after leaving the bathroom where she had been locked. However, now, in a house where these people, no, vampires, treated her more kindly than those who lived... With the possibility of being missing and out of her father’s hands for a long, long time...

It would be her social death in the human world, but she had never really enjoyed human society to begin with. Even if these vampires sucked all her blood, her death would be quick and almost painless. She preferred that to having to go unnoticed for years, in the back of the class, praying to a non-existent goddess that this year no one would lock her in a locker or decide that it was funny to soak all her books and notebooks in vater water.

"If it's not much trouble, could I stay here for a while?" 

"Not at all! Feel at home." Dorothea exclaimed. "Caspar and Linhardt are going to love you. Byleth and Petra are out, visiting family and others, but if you stay long enough you may meet them."

Meeting more people was what least excited her, but she faked a smile. It was the least the woman deserved after treating her so well. 

While Dorothea said goodbye to wake the other vampires with Edelgard, Bernadetta spilled some food on the floor. Ferdinand, excited, jumped up. 

"Wait, don't clean it! We have a gadget of your time for this cases." He said as he ran to find the object in a closet badly kept.

"Ferdinand, please, stop." Hubert complained. 

Bernadetta knew little of the men, but they looked like a married couple. The one she thought was Ferdinand seemed strangely excited to have a human at home, something that made Bernadetta very, very nervous. But he looked more like a child excited for someone to see his drawings than a real threat. 

The man in question returned with a roomba in his hands. 

"I introduce you to Hund von Aegir! Brave cleaner of the entire mansion. Amazing, right?" He said proudly while the device was working. 

"I don't think trying to amaze the guest with our advanced knowledge of technology is going to do much, Ferdinand, but at least it serves to integrate her into the group." Said Hubert, while Bernadetta noticed the color on Ferdinand's once pale face. "I leave this task to you, I retire to my room. Goodbye, Bernadetta." 

Ferdinand turned to tell him something, but was interrupted by strong steps coming from the stairs. In a matter of seconds, a man of large dimensions and light colored hair appeared leading a slender other with a dragged-looking appearance.

"You must be Bernadetta! Good, I'm Caspar." He said shaking her hand so hard he almost threw her to the ground. He then pointed to the sleepy man, who wore nothing but a long shirt-dress and jeans. "This one here is my boyfriend, Linhardt. Nice to meet you!"

The fact that the man did not stop screaming did little to calm her down, especially after meeting the first gay person in her life. Of course, she had seen actors and actresses on television and had some acquaintances on the internet, but never in person. In a sense she felt a certain connection with man, another person who went out of the norm, like her, but in a different way. 

Linhardt, she thought that was his name, whispered vaguely some greetings and sat on the sofa where she had been minutes before. Their personalities were so different, but by their hands still linked, Bernadetta could see that they loved each other. 

Wasn’t Linhardt a famous scientific…?

Caspar was talking about many things at once, and she could register few, but one of those few things was something from a chat room for everyone in the house. When she thought of vampires she thought of coffins, fog, ancient castles and chandeliers. But observing the wiring, the plugs, and the electrical devices, it could not seem more logical that, however clumsy they were, the devices of the living were also useful to the immortals. 

Caspar forced her into the chat, not accepting a no for an answer. She tried to quit several times, but the man only commented on how badly the application worked lately and put her back in. 

She felt a little awkward, like she was going to die at any moment. But, by far, in this house these strange monsters was where they had treated her best in her live, with much difference. Maybe if she keep living here she could continue to receive that kindness. 

After all they always called her a monster, a witch, and the like. It was normal for her to be so comfortable among them.   
  


* * *

She might have thought she felt comfortable with vampires before, but in the matter of technology, it was like dealing with an old person. Despite this discrepancy in their appearance and their knowledge of modern times, vampires took pride in how up-to-date they were.

And, surely, with their immortal friends, they were the most modern, the most adapted. But only among their immortal companions. It was as uncomfortable for a person of the 21st century to be with them in a chat group as to be in a family group. 

_ cAspAR added Bernie to the group: The best-looking vampires  _ __ [ _ 😜 _ ](https://emojipedia.org/face-with-stuck-out-tongue-and-winking-eye/) __

_ Bernie:  _ Good! :) Thank you very much for accepting me.

_ Petra:  _ Someone. New. In. The. House.? 

_ Petra:  _ Nice. to. Meet. you.

_ CASPAR:  _ SHES A HUMAN WHO IS GOING TO BE SOME TIME WITH US IN THEHOUSE I HOPE YOU WILL TREAT HER WELL 

_ CASPAR:  _ IAM THE ONE THAT SHARES THE FUNNY IMAGES THE COMEDY GUY U COULD SAY

_ Byleth:  _ hi

_ Byleth:  _ I am

_ Byleth:  _ Byleth

_ Byleth:  _ Nice 

_ Byleth:  _ to meet

_ Byleth:  _ you

_ Dorotheatheprettiest:  _ hahahaha

_ Dorotheatheprettiest:  _ 👋👋👋 Hi Bernie !!! 👋👋😛😛😛🥰

_ Feeerdie:  _ ▶ ️ 🔵 -------------------------------------- 0: 10

_ Feeerdie:  _ i. I am sorry if yo u do not like them. I am baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

_ Feeerdie:  _ d

_ Feeerdie:  _ at. Usiing the electric pocket watch. 

_ Bernie:  _ No problem ^^

_ Edelgard:  _ Greetings,

I'm glad you're in our chat room. I hope you are comfortable. If you need anything, let me know.

Welcome, Bernadetta.

Edelgard

_ cAspAR:  _ BERNDAETTA I HAVE A QUESTIOOON AAA!!!!

_ cAspAR:  _ WHAT DOES ^^ MEAN

_ Bernie:  _ It's like an emoji to use on when you're happy!

_ cAspAR:  _ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

_ cAspAR:  _ IF YOU ARE HAPPY I AM ALSO HAPPPY! ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^

_ Petra:  _ ^^

_ Dorotheatheprettiest:  _ ^^

Bernadetta sighed. Her life had become a bad joke that could end very, very badly. 

During the day Caspar, full of energy, had shown her the whole house while Dorothea, dressed with a black sweatshirt and sunglasses that covered half of her face, had gone out to buy more human food. 

"This is the bathroom." Caspar had said before opening the door to what could be considered a house of horrors. "I’m only one that uses this one, but there is one in the floor above that everyone uses, I don’t know why."

Bernadetta knew very well why, being perfectly aware that she could send a photo of the room to  _ toilets with threatening auras.  _ Without wanting to comment on this, she preferred to ask something that had been bugging her for some time. 

“Why do vampires use some areas of the house for? The bathroom, or the kitchen for example. ”

“ Vampires bathe and shower! Didn't you know that? Sometimes we have to take away remains of blood, and dirt that stain us during the day. Sometimes I forget it, but Linhardt kindly reminds me of it.”

Bernadetta couldn't doubt that. And even so, without wanting to take the risk of offending the creature much more powerful than her who was looking at her, she decided to continue asking. 

“And the toilets? There is one there. Do you use them?”

Caspar looked at the object the girl pointed to. 

"Oh, that!" He exclaimed. “The plumber insisted on putting it when he came to connect us to the national water system. We don't use it, but now that you're going to live here I think I'm going to have to activate the ones we have. ” 

“It would be helpful, thanks.” She whispered. 

Bernadetta was surprised at how modernized the vampires were. When she had agreed to live with them for a while she had assumed that she was going to have to go down to the river to bathe and walk kilometers to get her phone charged, but during the quick tour Caspar had pointed out various plugs and electrical wiring, a lot more she had expected, even if she had seen the ones next to the sofa. To the surprise of the girl the vampires in the room had been offended, repeating that the electricity is not so modern and that they were still alive when it was beginning to settle in the country. 

"You know what?." Ferdinand had added. “My mansion was the first of all Enbarr to have electricity. Before the castle itself, another of the things in which I defeated Edelgard in our time.” He said proudly. Edelgard could only sigh in exasperation. 

For the rest of the day the vampires didn’t leave her alone for a moment until just before dinner. Simply by talking to her to know more of her, to ask her preferences or to prepare her room, Bernie felt anxiety settling in her stomach while hour after hour she had to maintain conversation with her new housemates.

In that little time of tranquility she admired the rock of the walls and the wood of the shelves, identified the books she could read the title of and analyzed all the decoration of the room where she rested. Pictures of famous painters whom she thought she had heard about, historians wondering about the whereabouts of their best works, but otherwise everything you would expect from an old mansion. Gold candlesticks and looms were the only thing that accompanied the paintings, as well as dark wood furniture with gold accents and precious stones. 

Half an hour ago Dorothea and Edelgard had whispered out of the room, leaving her finally alone. She had heard something from Ferdinand and Hubert and many “I'm sorry, I can't tell you.” 

It was in these moments of solitude that she could stop to rest and process everything that had happened. Vampires treated her well, better than anyone had ever done. They had assured her that there were no bad intentions behind their actions, but how could she know? And if what they said was true, how could she know that, when they knew her more, they wuoldn’t decided that she was useless and that all they could do was kill her? 

What would happen when they discovered that she was not a normal girl but a misfit, useless victimist? What would they do when she locked herself up on her room every day, self-conscious about the fear that someone would look at her and judge her, terrified that someone would realize how pathetic she was?

She wanted to get out of there, but where would she go? To her house, where her father would punish her, or to the school where everyone would despise and hate her? 

As she walked to the room that Caspar had prepared her, she tried to calm her breathing while ignoring the stairs that creaked under her feet, the darkness of the halls and the goosebumps. She tripped several times, not wanting to turn on the lights, no matter how much the inhabitants of the house had assured her that they worked and didn't care, even if they saw in the dark. 

The fearful human stopped dead when she heard stifled footsteps by what looked like wet shoes and a large figure moving in her direction down the hall. She would usually scream, asking for mercy, but the vision in front of her was so terrifying that she still didn't know how her trembling legs kept her standing. About to cry she decided to stick as much as possible to the wall, praying to any god that existed that the mysterious figure ignored her and went on it’s way. 

She had closed her eyes and could only feel the tears fall on her borrowed clothes (they were all too big), when she heard Hubert's voice. This did little to calm her. 

"Bernadetta?" The vampire asked again, smiling slightly when the girl opened her eyes. 

“ _ Don’t smile! This is even worse than before! It’s creepy! _ "

"Yes...?" She had pretended to say, but she wasn't sure she had. 

So focused was she on not fainting that it took time to notice the body of the deer that stained the clothes and drowned the vampire's footsteps. With it’s hanging head, the devious eyes and the tongue out, the neck was torn, like the work of a horrible beast. 

"Are you okay?" Hubert said, trying to clean some of the blood from his face.

"Yes!" She replied, unable to look away from the deer. 

The man seemed to notice this, since he proceeded to explain. 

"It's for eating. Normally we bottle the blood in the forest, but we've thought about preparing you deer to eat." 

" _ No thanks!"  _

Upon receiving no response, Hubert looked back at the deer. "I guess you'll wonder why he's hunted like this instead of with my fangs," he said, showing her the razor. Bernadetta just wanted to get out of there. "But for us vampires sucking blood is very intimate. I hope you understand." 

Hubert continued on his way leaving the scared girl behind. 

" _ I want to go home. I want to go home. I want to go home. _ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise Byleth appears next chapter and doropetra starts strong in chapter


	3. "Is there a chill in the air, dear?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Byleth is here, as well as some characters that will probably never appear again.

Byleth turned off her phone and focused again on the book her brother had lent her. After all, one of her goals when she came to visit him was to ask for this book, their father's diary. 

In the last month she had read it over and over again but couldn't find any answer to all her questions. Maybe she should follow Beret's advice and let the subject go. Her time was too precious to worry about existential crises and philosophical questions that ceased to matter at the time she became a vampire. 

She separated her chair from the desk and exhaled. She would give everything to be with Edelgard again.

" _Only two more days_ " She promised herself.

She loved her brother and Jeritza, but being with them and having to constantly see their love displayed while she looked away awkwardly, having a girlfriend at home that reminded her how much she missed her every night was frustrating. Maybe the next time she visited them she would have to remember that, no, Beret wasn’t the child who hated hugs and looked disgusted when he saw two adults kissing anymore. Now he was the adult at which children made a face of disgust, but for very, very different reasons.

In these matters, Byleth was grateful to be a vampire and to be able to live far from the city, and many years to get to see how they ceased to be a crime for existing. 

She left the guest room to get some blood from the pantry. Lately she hadn't drunk much, she would have to kill a bear on the way back. She didn't mind killing any creature or human, as long as it wasn't a friend or acquaintance. It was completely impossible for her since the war. 

It was fascinating to observe the ability she had with her sword and her claws when she needed to kill to eat, almost like a dance, a form of art, many had said. However, she was completely paralyzed when she had to use a weapon against someone she cared about. 

“That is a problem in case any of the vampires lose control.” Beret had commented, long ago, while he was still living in the mansion.

Had she lost her skill and strength as a mercenary if she wasn't able to kill her loved ones? Was it a weakness to have people close to you, to worry about them?

"I'm sorry." Was the only thing that she could answer him at that moment. She looked away, embarrassed. What would Jeralt think when he saw his daughter, his pride, being so pathetic?

Beret had remained silent, perhaps regretting his harsh words towards his sister. "I can't do it either." he said out loud. 

Byleth looked surprised, but with a curiosity that told him to keep talking. 

"You know the feelings I have for Jeritza, right?" Byleth nodded. "I am no longer able to train with him." 

"Why?" She asked, even though she knew the answer perfectly well.

"I can't ..." he thought for a few seconds, searching for the right words. "I can't be his enemy, put myself in the position of being his opponent. What if I hurt him? What if I hit him too hard with the wooden sword?" Beret had sighed. "The only thing Jeritza does is train and we can't even do that together anymore."

Her brother had always been not more talkative, but better with words than her. He had perfectly described the problem they both had, although perhaps his was more extreme. He shouldn't fear training with someone, let alone when that someone was as strong as Jeritza. 

"It may help you to see training as a game, Jeritza and you aren’t enemies, but partners," She tried to help. "It doesn't work when any of us, the vampires, lose control, but you can use it to train with him."

Beret nodded. "Thank you. I think I'll try to think like that." 

Years later it seemed that the advice had been effective, as both men were in the front yard crossing swords. When they trained they preferred to dispense their vampire strength, return to their mercenary origins for a while each day, perhaps to feel like they were human once again. 

Also so as not to have to fix the damage their beast form would cause.

Byleth leaned against the doorframe, her pupils dilated to see better in the dark of the night. With a glass of blood diluted in tea, she began to wander. 

As soon as Beret had informed her that he had found their father's diary, she had immediately left the mansion, barely warning Edelgard of her departure. She had not prepared a suitcase, nor food, nor leisure objects, and that's why she was now wearing her brother's clothes. 

A wide shirt of at least two centuries ago, orange and red plaid pants that had not been worn since the 60s, and worn sneakers that could not be more than a century old. A somewhat curious mixture, but definitely not as strange as the clothes she was still wearing in the mansion, on average much more outdated. But Beret had always liked fashion, in that aspect he had a lot in common with Dorothea. 

Beret was tall and slim, but Byleth was wider, not much, but more than she would have liked, thanks to years of sitting around, and with a rather large cup, so most of her brother's clothes did not look too big on her.

"Beret also has some bust." Jeritza had interrupted when she discussed the issue with her brother. 

As for leisure objects... she regretted just having her phone. She hadn't yet figured out how to introduce books into the modern device, and although Beret had taught her now, she found it very uncomfortable to read on the small screen, as well as strange not being able to physically turn the pages, or make notes.

Unlike Petra, she was not interested in watching those short films on the device, videos, she called them. Perhaps she would be more entertained if she had asked Caspar how to get games into the device.

And it's not that Jeritza and Beret weren't enough to entertain her, but they were a couple, and no amount of board games and conversations could free her from being their third wheel. And on several occasions, knowing how much she loved to fish, Beret had invited her to go with him, but she knew that if she started fishing she wouldn't stop for hours. That is why she rejected all his offers in favor of continuing to analyze the diary. 

The worn and damaged diary. Perhaps if she had bothered to look for it a hundred years before half the sentences and words wouldn't have been erased by time. This diary was the only thing that kept the answers to her questions and it was totally illegible.

“ _Mea culpa._ " She thought.

It was her brother's voice that took her out of her thoughts.

"Byleth!" He said throwing a wooden sword at her. “Train with me.”

“And Jeritza?” 

“I'm already tired. Your brother has a great endurance that he has perfected over the years, being a much better warrior than me."

“Jeritza…" Beret interrupted. "You know exactly what I think of that."

The man sighed, but with a smile on his lips. “Yes, I know, honey. But you know that my dream is, someday, to reach your level, and cross our swords to death to show who is the strongest."

“...” It was the only thing Beret articulated.

Jeritza, noticing the tension in the environment, seemed even ashamed. “Maybe not to death, but you know that it would greatly excite me. Fighting in our human form fills me with… happiness. But other activities with you would also work."

“Ahem." Byleth coughed. The occasions in which she had found herself being the third wheel of her brother and his partner were not strange, but they never stopped being uncomfortable. Was this how people felt when she was too corny to Edelgard? If so, she had many apologies to give. 

"I'm sorry." Beret said. "But my proposal still stands."

Byleth picked up the sword from the ground and examined it, giving Jeritza her cup of tea for cleaning. 

"Okay," she said finally. "But I haven't fought in my human form for a long time."

"I'll be gentle then." Her brother whispered, getting himself into an attack position. 

The training, as it had done so many times in the past, helped her clear her mind. Her brother surely knew this, as it had the same effect for him. Without letting it show on her face, Byleth thanked him internally. Neither of them was extremely skilled with words (perhaps he more than her, to counteract that her face had more expressions than Beret's.) That is why signs of affection between them were mostly actions that they could read. Thanking had never been necessary. 

After training, the remaining two days had been as monotonous as the rest of the month. The three people in the houses were not likely to cause a stir, rather prefrerring to adhere to predetermined routines and adapting to naturally occurring changes. 

On the last day she tried to investigate everything she could about the diary, in a rush and without sleeping all night, without any results. When it was time for her departure, even with her brother's clothes, he insisted that she stayed with both the clothes and the diary. She had to accept the clothes, but she preferred not to return without the latter. She knew how much she had obsessed over it, and having it as a constant in her life would only sink her into the spiral of trying to find answers that, fortunately or unfortunately, were not there. 

As much as the three hated hugs, Byleth decided to give one to the two men. It was one of the most uncomfortable hugs of her life, but she had been practicing a lot of physical contact lately that was not putting her hand on someone's head, and she wanted to communicate how much she cared, even if it seemed not. 

With a goodbye and a good luck, she set out through the woods to return to the mansion. She considered sending a message to Edelgard about her return, but her plans were truncated when she realized that she had forgotten to charge her phone. 

"It'll be a surprise." She reflected. "This way I will surprise the new tenant as well."

Byleth had spent little time reading the group chat, but the new human filled her with curiosity. Adopting a human was not something that came out of the peculiarities of her friends and colleagues but it had been many moons since something so "exciting" had happened to them.

But what really excited her was to see _El_ again. When she had left suddenly she had noticed a certain sadness in her eyes, and took note of going through a nearby town before returning to mend her mistake. 

She missed her warm smile, the lilac tint of her eyes, how her hands felt when they ran over her own and moved along her arm, and even more how her kisses felt. 

Compared to the relationship between Jeritza and her brother, hers with Edelgard was something recent. From the moment she met her she had always felt kind of attracted towards the young princess, but it wasn't until the help of a certain ex that they managed to start their relationship. 

" _Dorothea is too good for her own good_ ." Byleth mused. “ _I have to buy her a gift too, for everything she has done for us._ “

For some time she had seen her a little blue, but she had never had a chance to ask her. Between herself being too awkward, and Dorothea spending most of the time with other people or chatting in her phone with Petra, she just hadn’t had the opportunity.

Thinking about Petra, in the last months she had spent most of her time with the singer, before traveling to Brigid. They were already best friends from almost the moment they met, but time that she previously spent with Ferdinand, Caspar, or Linhardt were now spent with Dorothea. 

Byleth had also noticed how Ferdinand had begun to spend more time with Hubert, becoming almost inseparable.

“ _Curious_ ”

She noted to speak with Ferdinand and Hubert, as well as Petra. Realizing that she had to speak with many people, she sighed. Maintaining friendships was complicated. 

"Byleth!" She heard Catherine's voice call her.

Looking to the sides she looked for where the source of the voice was, seeing her in the distance, next to an earthy path. 

"Good to see you here!" Said the werewolf, giving her a strong hug. "We haven't talked for a long time."

Byleth nodded. "It's hard to find you, now that you two travel so much."

"I hope it's easier now." Shamir said approaching. “We got a house not far away from here.”

“True! I forgot to tell you, but you know I don't like sending letters to the mansion very much.”

“No problem. If you have a telephone we can exchange numbers.” 

Byleth knew that Catherine was not on good terms with Edelgard, nor Hubert, nor Ferdinand… nor with anyone she lived with. The werewolf and the vampires had long overcome the problems between them, but that didn't mean they loved each other's company. Their relationship was like that of a family member with whom you don't mind celebrating the holidays, but you prefer not to visit it much. 

Shamir, on the other hand, remained particularly neutral with most people, but had a certain affinity with Hubert, Caspar and Petra. And with her. That was enough, she knew that all the immortals in the country had had more than one fight in the past. It was impossible for everyone to be friends. 

However, it was encouraging to see how everyone could collaborate in times of need and respect each other. Catherine had accompanied them to some hunts and laughed alongside the old black eagles. That was enough. 

"A telephone? I think we have one… ” Catherine said searching through her bag.

"You don't need to show it to me now, you can get one later." Byleth interrupted, searching for a piece of paper. “Humans have invented many useful devices in recent years. For now, take my number, call me when you feel like it.”

“You don't want to visit our house? Contrary to myths, werewolves aren’t that dirty. We have everything neat and clean.” Shamir joked, but Byleth shook her head.  
"I've been out of the mansion for a month, I'm tired and I want to go back as soon as possible." She apologized and said goodbye to the two women with another hug. 

Shouting while they were walking away, she promised Shamir to go on a hunt with her to get blood next month. 

The return trip was quiet, the only notable thing that happened was a group of deer fleeing when they heard her move forward after getting some blood of wild animals. When the sky, previously completely obscured by clouds, began to show the sun she had to accelerate the flight, going into her cat form when she visualized the mansion. She slipped through one of the many indentations in the house, looking for Edelgard to announce her arrival to her first. 

“ _Fuck, I forgot to buy the gifts…_ ” she cursed internally. “ _Tomorrow, it is._ ”

But first she found the new human. She looked at her with enthusiasm, excited to see an animal as beautiful as she was in her catlike form in the mansion. 

Bernadetta began to caress her and Byleth did not complain, playing the role of cat. First, the human did not seem unpleasant. She could always rely on the judgment of her friends, but she needed to make her own. The scene continued, Bernadetta speaking to her as a street cat would be spoken to, until the footsteps of Edelgard's low heels were heard.

"Bernadetta?" She asked, confused. "What are you..."

Byleth looked into her eyes and smiled when she saw _El's_ face change completely when she realized who she was. 

“Byleth! You're back!”

“Byleth!?” Bernie whispered, before seeing the beautiful long-haired cat she had been stroking become a woman with rumpled hair of several shades of blue, and large fangs. Her pointed ears stood out proudly, announcing to the whole world her condition. 

Bernadetta covered her mouth when she took a breath of amazement, quickly realizing the situation she was in. While Byleth approached to hug Edelgard she was already preparing numerous apologies. 

They were useless, since both women were absorbed in themselves, whispering between caresses and small kisses. Bernadetta stifled a shriek, wishing very strongly that she hadn't been there since the beginning. 

Quickly, and trying to go unnoticed, she fled to the living room, where she knew Dorothea was.

"Do you think I've intimidated her a lot?" Byleth asked Edelgard, unable to hide a small smile. 

“The poor girl is very scared of everything, but I don't think so. I should have warned you before you made that kind of trick…” Edelgard tried to fix her gaze with Byleth's, but she couldn't stop looking at the rest of the woman. Her lips, her soft hands, her clothes. 

She didn't expect her to come back so soon, and happiness made her chest ache. If she had to talk more she was going to start crying, the butterflies taking possession of her stomach and making her whole body feel electrified. 

"I've missed you so much."

"El, your eyes have turned red." Byleth whispered even lower than before.

"Sorry." She replied, but she didn’t regret it. She rested her head on her beloved's shoulder, and for a long time she enjoyed her smell and her presence. 

It had been almost a month since they had seen each other and, as useful as modern technology was, nothing was like having Byleth in front of her. Her eyes so kind and so full of life, her hands, so soft and yet robust. Only seeing the woman was able to cheer her up.

“Do you know what?”

“Hm?”

“Your brother's clothes fit you very well.” 

“Thank you.”

After that they sank into each other, not wanting to break the hug, and therefore lengthening it.

"I don't regret it." Byleth broke the silence. 

Edelgard turned her head to look at her, confused. Fear began to take hold of her, suspecting what she was referring to. Her mouth suddenly tremendously dry, she swallowed and gently grabbed Byleth's shirt before releasing it. She could feel the air refusing to enter her lungs completely. 

"What do you mean?" She said trying to fake a smile and keeping eye contact. She failed miserably.

She knew that Byleth had noticed how her eyes became more watery and had returned to their normal color by how the other woman drew small circles on her back trying to reassure her. 

“ _Don't try to fix it now._ ” She wanted to shout, her inner voice angry at her lover, begging to undo the hug and lock her feelings once more.

Ah, but how good it felt to be in her arms. Edelgard, as much as she knew she didn't deserve it, could never give up physical contact. 

"Being turned into a vampire." 

That was it. 

Edelgard quickly separated herself from Byleth, breaking the hug. She wanted to be angry, she was angry. Byleth kept looking at her with those compassionate, but serious and combative eyes, as well as hopeful, as always, and she couldn't stand it. Why couldn't she give up on her? Why couldn't she stop believing in Edelgard? It was easy for Edelgard, why couldn't Byleth do the same?

"You should. I turned you without your permission.” 

Edelgard wanted to be strong, to look at her with her head high and her gaze cold and without feeling for which she was so famous in her time. But all she could get right now was to lift her eyes, with the expression of a bleeding animal, while keeping her head down. She couldn't raise her head with pride, and her instinct, in a battle with pride, shouted at her to remain self-conscious as she had been in the cells so many years ago.

"You know that is a lie." Byleth, her gaze leaving the strong and dismayed look behing and starting to express little more than a prayer. While Edelgard moved away emotionally ans physically, she tried to move forward little by little, like a person who wants to pick up a badly injured animal from the street. 

Edelgard couldn’t answer, her throat pressed and her lips sealed with guilt. 

“At that time I had already told you that I would not mind being immortal like you. Isn't that right?” She continued, watching the emperor begin to open again little by little. Edelgard nodded. 

Byleth smiled. " _Good._ " 

“You saved my life." Edelgard parted her lips to protest, but Byleth interrupted her with a hug, even stronger than before. Edelgard breathed at last, somewhat more relaxed, letting herself enjoy the contact. She hid her head on her shoulder again, but this time instead of for comfort, also to hide her tears. 

"My teacher..." she whispered, and Byleth could only laugh softly at that nickname that was so, so old. 

"Have I convinced you?" She asked, when she could already feel the woman's relaxation. 

"No." She sighed. She would have to try another time. "I think the others also want to see me." Byleth joked. "Shouldn't we go to the living room?"

Edelgard shook her head. "Please, let me be like this a little longer."

"As you wish, Your Majesty," Byleth said, returning the joke to Edelgard.

When they finally approached the living room, Byleth was relieved to see that they were all fine and there. (Except Petra, who was still traveling in her homeland.) The new tenant, Bernadetta, if she remember correctly, was sitting between Caspar and Dorothea while the latter told her something in a very lively way. Edelgard had updated her on the situation of the girl, how she had arrived at the house, and why she had stayed. 

Although somewhat unusual, someone new suited them. Dorothea seemed happy, freed from that cloud of concern that surrounded her when Byleth had left the house and when she had tried to ask her in a text message, perhaps for starting to "take care" of someone (she had always liked to take care of children and people in general, perhaps she saw herself in them.) 

Together with Caspar they were the two most extroverted members of the house, and seeing that they had made the human feel comfortable filled her with pride. Ferdinand was also involved in the conversation, particularly far from Hubert. 

" _Strange."_ Byleth thought without giving it more importance. 

She finally noticed Linhardt, lying on the couch that was half occupied by Caspar. He didn’t seem to care about this, because he was lying on his back, thanks to Caspar being turned to talk to Bernadetta.

The first who noticed her entrance was the new girl, turning totally red. Then the rest followed the human's gaze until they found Byleth. All their faces lit up with joy, but unfortunately not with surprise. Surely Bernie had already told them. 

“Byleth! Good to see you back.” Caspar was the first to speak, getting up (and dropping Linhardt) to give her a hug. Progressively Dorothea, Ferdinand, and surprisingly Edelgard joined, the last one giving her a mocking look. 

Byleth was still thinking about the conversation before, but at least she was glad it hadn't affected Edelgard much.

As they separated Dorothea tried to start talking, but Byleth and Edelgard were too busy looking at each other. " _Of course."_ She thought, and turned to Bernadetta, hiding her annoyance and sadness. 

“Well Bernie, now is the time to introduce yourself properly!”

“Y-yes.” Said the girl taking a big breath. “I’m Bernadetta von Verley. Nice to meet you.” 

If it weren't for the wonderful ear the vampires possessed, Byleth would swear she wouldn't had been able to hear her. However, she could tell the enormous effort it had taken for Bernadetta to introduce herself, and offered her hand with the most calming look possible. 

"Byleth Eisner. Delighted.”

When Bernie shook her hand, she could hear and feel the cries of joy from Caspar and Dorothea in congratulations. Definitely the girl would not be better anywhere else, blushing in shame at the reaction of her recent friends, but thanking them¡. 

Then they formed the previous groups, but Edelgard and Byleth sat next to Hubert, who set aside his book to talk. Byleth distanced herself from the conversation after a while, noticing that Dorothea looked sad and somewhat melancholic again. What could be the thing that kept her that way? Maybe it was the distance with her best friend, Petra, who had been away for 3 months? Surely that was one of the important factors.

When Dorothea excused herself Byleth quickly excused herself too, Edelgard looked at her strangely. while Byleth took her hand to calm her. 

"I'll be right back." She whispered, looking at Dorothea and Edelgard understood right away. 

“Tell me what’s wrong with her later.” It was the last thing _El_ said after extending the separation of their hands. 

For someone who was not extremely good at sports or the like, Dorothea had advanced a good portion of the way to her room before Byleth was able to call her. 

"Dorothea!" She exclaimed, to which the girl sighed and turned, looking tense.

"What do you want, Byleth?"

By her tone of voice she was tempted to leave her alone, which was probably what she wanted when she left the room, but she had already come here. She was only genuinely worried about the singer, and she wanted at least to let her know that if, at some point, she wanted to trust her with her secrets, she could.

"It's just that lately you’ve seen off. Are you alright?" 

Dorothea looked away, pressing her lips and implying that she was not exactly comfortable. Her posture, without being fully turned towards Byleth, indicated that at any moment she would turn around and follow the path to her room. 

"Yes, it's nothing to worry about." And as she had predicted, she was starting to leave. But Byleth was faster. 

"But I worry." She said sharply. "We have been friends for a long time, we have trusted each other with many things. Why not now?"

Exasperated, Dorothea looked away again. "It will solve itself." 

Surrendering, Byleth sighed. "Okay, but if you need help, El and I are here, especially now that Petra is in Brigid.”

“ _Edie and you are precisely the last ones I would go to for help in this matter._ ” Dorothea thought, laughing sadly. 

"I also wanted to thank you for everything you've done for El. And for me." 

_El._ Edelgard had never allowed her to call her that, even when they were together. " _You're not jealous,_ " Dorothea reminded herself. _"You're just alone._ "

"It's nothing, you two deserve it." 

And it was that she loved Edelgard so much that she hadn’t even cared about helping her break her own heart. She looked so happy every time she looked at Byleth that Dorothea had wished with all her being that, just for a moment, Edelgard had looked at her like that during their relationship. They were going to be tremendously happy, she already knew, and how it affected her was no one's business except Dorothea Arnault’s.

“ _I’m already over it._ ” She said to herself, “ _I’m already over it._ ”. And in a way, her rational part already had it fully assumed. She had always been delighted for Edie and Byleth's relationship, they were her friends and they were genuinely happy, just like she was when she saw them together.

But it was her feelings, oh her wild and cruel feelings, that dragged her again and again into the vicious circle that never seemed to end. And it was at those moments, when feelings of loneliness took over her entire body and demanded romantic love while her own hatred of herself denied she deserved happiness, in which she totally agreed with Hubert: feelings were useless. They should have been left in her human life.

And it wasn’t like she was always feeling like this. But when accidents happened and she saw blood covering the totality of her hands and body. she was brought back to when she was just a novice vampire in a cruel city like Enbarr.

If she told Byleth the reason for her recent melancholy and sadness, she was totally sure she wouldn't look at her with the same eyes. Neither she nor Edie, which was what hurt her most. They would discover the insatiable monster that doesn't deserve forgiveness that underlies within her and, if she was lucky, she would be honored with death. 

After a few more thanks that Dorothea didn’t really listen to, she continued to her room and covered herself completely with the sheets. 

"I look like Jeritza behaving like this." She laughed. And it was true, the situation the man lived was similar. More extreme than hers, but he had Beret and she was completely alone. 

She had friends, she had Petra to talk about anything, she wasn't alone. But her whole being felt that way. Since the new accident, no matter how hard she tried, she wasn’t able to connect with anyone. She felt like an outsider in her own body and in her own life, having meaningless conversations as if she were talking to complete strangers in her worst moments. She knew it would be the same if She had the privilege of having corresponding romantic love, but the opera fills your head with great dreams and hopes and she couldn't say she was cured of that. The same had happened to Manuela. 

And, surrounded by so many couples, she couldn’t stop thinking about what she didn’t have, all worsened by an accident of many.

These accidents, as she preferred to call them, were instances in which hunger consumed her and she, alone and without anyone knowing, hunted for humans like the monster she was. 

Everytime it left her physically and mentally shattered, but as much as she wanted, and she really wanted, she couldn't help them. 

" _That’s because it’s your true form, monster."_ She answered herself. 

Before continuing with that line of thought, she decided to take out her phone and open Petra's chat. The other woman didn’t use it much, maybe once a week, but since she went to her homeland and after promising to maintain contact she had been keeping it constantly on. 

For Dorothea it was a tremendous relief that Petra cared so much for her. Two months since her last incident and three since Petra left. Even via text, the woman had immediately identified her mood change, and Dorothea couldn't hide anything from her. She tried, really tried, but Petra was just too... too reliable. 

But she knew that Petra kept something from her while they talked long and hard about Dorothea’s feelings. She had tried several times to convince her to trust her, but the woman remained completely silent. She didn't want to look too insistent, but it made her feel guilty, no matter how much Petra reassured her by saying it was nothing. 

" _Sounds familiar._ " She joked to herself. 

The remains of the last conversation with the woman reminded her of how pathetic she was. She decided to call instead of chatting. 

Soon Petra replied, worried in her tone. 

"Dorothea? Is something wrong?" 

"No, nothing... I just wanted to talk." She took a small pause. "I haven't heard your voice in a long time."

She could hear a choked laugh through the line. "Yes, a month or so since the last time, isn't it?"

Dorothea nodded, forgetting that Petra couldn't see her. "You know, I've been thinking. You've improved a lot in our language." 

"I think that usually happens when you've been talking it for more than two hundred years." 

It was then Dorothea's time to laugh. "Yes, of course. I have just remembered the time when we met. You knew how to speak it, understand both listening and writing, and you spoke it well, no major grammatical errors, but it was so obvious that you were not a native speaker..."

"And now? Is it still so obvious?" 

"No, no so much."

"Not that much?" Petra replied, somewhat saddened. 

"If anyone hears you, they would say you are a native. But if you listen closely, you still have a slight accent. It's cute." 

"Thank you..." Petra said, leaving a silence behind her.

"I have a question." Dorothea started again. "Did you find it difficult to return to Brigid after so much time living in Fódlan? In terms of language, I mean."

It took Petra so long to respond that Dorothea had to check she hadn’t hung up.

"Yes." She finally said. "The videos on that page Linhardt taught me have helped, reading and listening to my language again was great but... the first few days I couldn't even speak it. I was okay in grammar, but I had just forgotten all the vocabulary.”

"Did you went back for that? To recover your culture, and your language."

"Yes. To see how it has improved, too. It's... it's in a much better state."

"I'm glad!" Dorothea said trying to cheer the sad environment that had settled. The pressure on her chest and sweaty hands weren’t gone, but there was no need for Petra to be worried too. 

"If you want I can try to learn your language." She said suddenly. She didn't know where it had come from but it had an immediate effect on Petra. 

"Yes! I will help you!" She replied excitedly. 

Petra's happiness was contagious, relieving her. However, while Petra tried to explain the basis of her language, she could not help but get back into her own thoughts. Again. since she was human, she was trying to find the solution to all her problems in romantic love. It was the simplest solution for her.

If she had a strong vampire at her side, no accidents would occur. A vampire stronger than her would be able to handle her with a constant flow of blood, although a stronger vampire, with its elegance as a natural predator, would surely not want anything with the equivalent of a mangy rat that she was. 

Edie was enough proof of that. Despite the number of times she had reassured how much she meant to her (even after the end of their relationship), Dorothea was not able to believe her, no matter how much Edie had worked in life (and in death) for the people of her social status, it was not possible that she was romantically interested (the only important way) in her. Because of her appearance, because of her legs, because of her breasts and lips, sure, but Dorothea was incapable of conceiving how someone so superior to her could have found something... something capable, something worthy of being loved in her personality or in her as a person.

And yet, after using her- “ _No, Edie didn't use you. Although perhaps it would have been easier for you.”_ After loving the singer so much, after she had promised her so many times, one day she simply stopped. She stopped being interested in her, but continued to treat her kindly. She kept talking to her in the morning, at tea time. She kept trusting her, kept hugging her and worrying when she was hurt. 

Dorothea had never experienced a break up like that. Normally the man turned out to be a fool, a complete moron who didn't love her, and this made it easier for her to hate him while trying to hide her heart, or rather her illusions of a future not mired in absolute poverty. But with Edelgard this was simply not possible. 

She couldn't hate her, she couldn't blame her for anything, she could only blame herself. They were still friends, the same friendship as before remained, and so Dorothea could not get over her. She did, eventually, in a certain way. 

No matter how much she begged the goddess in her lowest moments, if she existed and had mercy on the most monsters of the monsters, for someone who made her stop feeling so miserable, so grotesque, so abominable. She wanted someone who loved her in the most intimate way more than someone who killed her, and she knew perfectly well that she would only accept the second. 

If Edie offered to resume their relationship Dorothea knew that her rational self, not just her self that refused to receive any sign of true affection, wouldn’t be interested. She would say no. It hadn't worked before, for many reason, no matter how much it hurt, and it wouldn't work now. She only fantasized, harming herself every moment she stayed awake. And those fantasies were just that, fantasies with a vague basis in reality, formed by melancholy for Edelgard. It was not true love, it was an expectation that she could have placed on anyone else in the house. 

All this, although she knew was true, didn’t made it less painful. She couldn't help feeling the worst, the only real monster in the house despite being surrounded by vampires. The rest still preserved humanity, but she? She could only focus on how little human she was. 

Apparently Petra had noticed how quiet her partner was, changing her excited voice to one with a tone of concern. 

"Dorothea?" 

"Hm?" She said, not even conjuring words to prevent her true thoughts from sneaking between the letters. 

"Are you... are you alright?"

"... No." she sighed.

"Is it because of what I think it is?" 

"What could it be but that?" She said while trying to stop the first tears that spilled from her eyes. "It's the same as always."

Another pause. Even without seeing the other woman, she could visualize her tight lips, her fixed gaze and her frown, deep in thought.

"Wait for me in the mansion. I will return immediately."

_What!?_

"What!?" 

Petra hung up immediately leaving a stunned Dorothea on the other side. "Petra? ... Petra!?" Petra had said that… she was going to return? To the mansion? All the way from Bridig? But it could take several days in their fastest form... was she going to catch a plane? 

And the worst of all, had she ruined Petra's vacation with just her sadness? 


	4. But dreams come through stone walls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its edelgard time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes im doing what i want with dimitri's and claude's goals only so i can make them friends with edelgard in my fic

Meanwhile Byleth returned to Edelgard. The woman, immersed in the conversation with Hubert, didn’t even notice her lover's return until she removed the chair next to her to sit down. 

"No luck." 

Edelgard nodded, having expected this result. Lately it was more and more common for the singer to lock herself up. 

After a little more conversation with Hubert and Byleth about the book the man was reading, she noticed how dreams began to take hold of her and closed her eyes for a moment. With an apologie she got up and left the room, Byleth following her closely. Edelgard wouldn’t have minded if she hadn't followed her in complete silence and with firmly pressed lips while avoiding looking at her, making it clear that she wanted to discuss an unpleasant issue.

When they both entered the younger’s room, Edelgard closed and leaned against the door. She watched Byleth for a few seconds, acting as if everything in the room was new and interesting, trying to hide the obvious. 

Edelgard sighed and began to undo her hair, to the astonishment of Byleth. 

"Do you want me to help you?" 

"No, I want you to tell me what goes through your mind." 

The slight expression of surprise betrayed that perhaps she had been a little sharper than she planned with her words, but it had been effective anyway. Before speaking, Byleth took off her brother's blouse, finding it more comfortable to sleep without it.

She didn't waste time in observing Byleth's muscles, from her abs to her arms. "Are you trying to seduce me so I will listen to you?" Edelgard interrupted mockingly before the other woman could start talking. 

As soon as the other woman heard this, red ran down her face and she hurriedly put the blouse on again, despite Edelgard's disappointment. 

"I wanted to... I wanted to keep talking about the topic from before."

 _Ah._

" _Understandable._ " Edelgard thought, but that didn't mean she stopped hating the subject. She preferred that Byleth let her ignore her emotional problems instead of waiting for her to face them. Ah, but Byleth was too good for that.

In the silence of Edelgard, who was now removing her dress, Byleth continued speaking. 

"At no time have I blamed you for anything. I... I have no grudge against you. It is true that my ideal option was not to be a vampire, but that doesn't mean that I hate it." 

Edelgard was still showing Byleth her back, listening to the same thing she had said over and over again in the past. So many times through so many years that the vampire still wondered how Byleth had not given up. 

"You saved my life." Byleth finally said. Apparently she had missed part of her speech absorbed in her thoughts. 

"You are wrong about that." She looked at her sideways. "This is not life. This is merely a curse.”

"Maybe it was conceived like that. But in the way we live it is a continuation of life." She tried to reason, in a way some poeple would say desperate. 

"Byleth..." Edelgard sighed. "As much happiness as it brings us to be together, we remain monsters without a soul. Our humanity has been taken from us, **I** have taken your humanity from you, and now we live eternally on another plane of existence imitating our ancient life." 

"We are not imitating anything." She responded firmly. "We are still us. The human Edelgard from so long ago is still you. Our ethical values, perhaps somewhat outdated today, remain ours and equally human. We were born human, and we will die as vampires, yes, but with a human mind." 

Edelgard fell silent again. Rather than being hurt by the conversation, it took her to her edge, igniting a slight anger of despair. Why couldn't Byleth understand that the curse was not something pretty?

Then she said it.

"Would you deny Dorothea her humanity?"

"Of course not. Despite the curse she still think of humans as her brothers and sisters, she still knows the value of an human life..."

"Then why do you that to yourself, why do you do that me?"

This left Edelgard thinking until they had gone to bed and she had Byleth's arms around her. She wouldn't deny Dorothea her humanity even in a thousand suns, behind the curse was a wonderful person with a heart of gold. So why had she done it with Byleth? Had she hurt the woman thinking that way? 

She, for her part, knew that there was no human part to save her from being a monster. As much as Byleth insisted. 

Stroking her lover's cheek gently, she dropped into Morpheus's arms. 

That night she dreamed again of the past, but not of cells or rats, nor of her brothers transformed into horrific abominations that writhed in her sleep in front of her begging for blood, blood, blood. 

The first thing she visualized in the dream was the old field where so many numerous afternoons she had spent in her princess days. At her side was Hubert, at that time a boy who had only recently hit puberty. With the first notable signs of adolescence on his face, pimples and a certain mustache, he had agreed to go down with her to the meadows that surrounded the castle, something they hadn’t done since her brothers died.

Attempting to recover the childish joy that Edelgard longed for, she had forced herself to make a flower crown. Three rather, for her, for Hubert, and for the son of the prime minister who had insisted on accompanying them. 

The child, competitive, self-centered and vain, did nothing but make the two other children nervous, although Edelgard wouldn0t admit that it was a flock of fresh air for her life that lately had been so empty of any hint of normality. Ferdinand managed to drive Hubert crazy, something that Edelgard found funny, since Hubert used to be serious and formal and never yelled at anyone. Except Ferdinand, apparently.

Deep inside she knew that Ferdinand reminded her of her older brother, the second who had succumbed to the blood of the beasts. He had transformed into the very image of a monster in front of her eyes just before she had to observe, chained as she was, how he cruelly devoured his younger brother, that little boy who had barely learned how to speak. The smallest, the most defenseless, the one who had most trusted the brother who took his life, the one who had tried to hug him despite the chains that kept them at a distance just a few hours earlier.

Her older brother had been proud, self-confident and formal. Taking his role as a nobleman seriously, his main goals were to protect people and have a family (with dragon scales, of course.) He was more shy than Ferdinand, but with the same fixation in the roles that had been imposed on him, he had fell into a broken and drowned cry when he realized the atrocity he had committed in the cell. He then got rid of the almost loose chains that had kept him held and committed suicide using his vampire force against the failed chimera body that the experiments had granted him. 

Edelgard had lied to herself saying that the two deaths had pained her and marked her equally, to feel a little more human in the face of her growing apathy. But the image of demonic claws of whom she believed was her own brother, the one who had taken her in his arms for a walk, the one who gave her pendants and flowers and helped her learn how to read, destroying their own body, little by little, with great blows while the kid's blood hit her face blow after blow marked her much more than the devouring scene.

Embracing her sister, who had already given up and wasn’t even trying to cover her eyes, they both watched without even being able to scream in horror as two of their own left. It hadn’t even been a month since they got there but Edelgard, secretly, while crying in the dress so broken, so ragged of her sister, had sworn that if she ever got out, she wouldn’t live a day in peace until killing the demons that had caused this atrocity.

She had to wait years to learn what they had done to her in the experiments. 

When Edelgard placed the flower crowns in the heads of her friends, yellow daisies for Hubert and lilies for Ferdinand,the redhead put aside the competitiveness and could only comment on how beautiful they were, something that made Edelgard forget her past for a moment. 

She wouldn't mind being friends with this boy. 

Unfortunately Ferdinand quickly left the castle, back to his lands, and they didn't see him again until well into adolescence. If only they had known him a few years before, Edelgard would have begged her father to see him at least once more, but all her relationships were too broken for that.

She closed her eyes for a moment and the next scenario she found herself in was totally different from the first. This time it was a building, she was much taller and surrounded by nobles from all parts of the territory.

" _Ah, the youth meetings._ " 

At first she had hated them, thinking little more of them than annoying meetings twice a year for the younger nobles to hook up with each other. But when she discovered that these young people, without the fixed and oppressive observation of their parents and power figures behind them, had ideals very similar to her own ... 

Until that moment she hadn’t realized how absurd it was that the idea of "the poor deserve rights" was considered progressive and revolutionary.

Hubert had warned her not to let herself dream, that when the war began, none of those friends (acquaintances) would remain by her side. She knew he was right.

It was during this time that they met Ferdinand again and forged a real friendship. At first it was the same as when they had met the first time, but both Edelgard and Hubert knew that there were moments in which he wasn’t unbearable, in which he was a normal person. Moreover, he seemed to keep a slight contempt for his father that he didn’t precisely hide. They also met the second son of the Bergliez, always accompanied by Linhardt, to whom all the issues of the nobility were rather trivial.

Ferdinand promised them the first time they met again, that this time he would make sure to visit them much more, and he complied. With just 14 years Ferdinand spent most of the year in the castle, so much that some rumors began to circulate. Hubert had wanted to silence them quickly, but Edelgard prevented him. None were true, but they couldn’t damage her image and did a good job of masking her nightly escapes to eliminate the most troublesome nobles with Hubert. 

In Enbarr Ferdinand took them to various operas, talking about the wonderful voice of the singer or how romantic the story and captivating was. There they met Manuela and Dorothea, as the stars of the company. At first, both Hubert and Edelgard had hated it, but after seeing the girl of about her age shine on stage, Edelgard couldn’t hide that what she had detested before interested her now, but for other reasons than Ferdinand's. Of course, at her young age she pretended and believed it was only because of the beautiful voice of the girl, not her face, not her lips, not the way she acted on stage, as if they were all their servants and she their queen, and spent hours admiring her with Ferdinand. 

A few years later, when Petra arrived at the castle without hardly any notion of language, it was Ferdinand who took her out of her room despite the warnings of the guards. It had been Edelgard’s idea, but for her it had just stayed as a wish. When Hubert, who had prepared the picnic on the same meadow where they had played some years ago, saw two figures approaching, he simply sighed and left to bring some more food. 

For a month they tried to teach her the best they could their language, a bit each day, in the same place. Each day Hubert and Edelgard selected new foods and others that they had already taught her to review them, while Ferdinand brought her various personal items and weapons to show them. 

In this environment they also learned a lot of vocabulary from the neighboring country, using it again in conversations with Petra to make her feel more integrated. 

At the beginning it was a bit awkward, with Hubert and Edelgard being reserved people and Petra being in a totally different country from hers without any way of communicating, but when the smile of the foreign girl gradually began to grow the three nobles knew that it was worth it.

A scared animal in the middle of a lion cage became able to interact with the people of the palace, finding herself at least a little more comfortable and feeling that, at least in the meadow next to the three nobles, she belonged. 

Little by little, between training and training, while adding visits to the city to teach her even more vocabulary as her grammar improved, they were able to make a friend. Edelgard learned that the girl was mature, calm, focused and hardworking. She was also kind of reserved, although that was to be expected, and always cautious. 

Edelgard and Ferdinand encouraged her to go to the opera with them, Hubert was somewhat sulky following them on the road, but Petra was very lively. She too was delighted with the voice and appearance of the young Dorothea, and Edelgard hid it as best she could, but she felt a pang of jealousy.

One day, when winter was approaching and the clothes were getting thicker, she was surprised to see her servant and childhood friend talking to Petra. When she approached they were commenting on the weather, the differences between the archipelago and the continent, while Hubert taught her specific meteorological words.

Not wanting to interrupt the moment she left before Hubert noticed, another sign that he was comfortable with his new friend. A little bit pride filled Edelgard. 

When the next youth meeting approached Hubert asked if they would take the girl and Edelgard, seeing how her eyes shone after hearing the anecdotes and hearing about other young people who would accept her, could only say yes. The trip was not very long, and as soon as they arrived Seteth ran to introduce the facilities to the new girl. 

Meanwhile, when Edelgard and Ferdinand greeted their two housemates, an albino girl who accompanied Claude caught her attention. 

It was as if the world stopped in it's tracks and Edelgard felt her throat dry immediately, the sounds around her became mute and it felt like an enormous pressure fell on her shoulders. The throbbing of her damaged heart choked everything around her, while she could identify the same scars she possessed when the other girl's sleeve lifted a little more than usual.

Hubert looked worried when she left suddenly, as did her housemates. She thought she saw Claude looking sideways, too.

In the safe space of her room she tried to calm her breathing as much as possible. Maybe that girl was really white-haired, and not the result of a horrible experience. She couldn’t jump to conclusions so soon, but it had felt so good to forget her life when she was with her friends that she now felt like an idiot thinking that it would last. Every night, every time she and Hubert went one step further to eliminate corruption in the government, and when she had meetings with her uncle, she was forced to remember the sad and desperate faces of each of her siblings, and if now she had to relive it during the day, she was sure she was going to go crazy. 

She planned to stay locked in her room until the next day, organize her thoughts and plan her strategies a little better in terms of war and as a flame emperor, but a knock on her door interrupted her.

It was an unknown voice, probably a new soldier, she thought, but as soon as she opened she found herself face to face with a woman with bluish hair and clothes very, very different from that of the soldiers. Dark, that covered her entire body (expected, taking into account the cold weather) and with armor chunks to protect it but to not slow her down in combat. In her belt was a sword she wore proudly, not with the nobility of a knight or army general but with more dignity than a bandit. 

A mercenary, for sure. But what could she be doing here? Had her uncle got tired of her little puppet and had decided he didn't need her anymore? 

Her questions were quickly answered. 

"Seteth has ordered all students to be at dinner, there is going to be a speech." Byleth spoke first, in the silence of the youngest. 

"Thanks for telling me." When Byleth seemed to have no reaction other than waiting for Edelgard to move, she asked her question. "Can I ask who you are? I've never seen you here."

Byleth opened her mouth slightly. " _Is that your attempt to make an expression? Is that your surprise?_ "

"Byleth, my name is Byleth. The last name is Eisner, I was hired along my brother just last month."

Edelgard took the hand that had been extended to her, and wondered if she would ever be able to look away from those eyes that seemed to be looking at her soul.

Byleth's mentioned speech was a talk given by Seteth himself, about the activities that would be done during the month. Nothing new, just the same as every year. She didn't understand why he had insisted in everyone attending. She could hear Hubert mutter softly, complaining about this too. At her side Petra seemed delighted, watching all the other young people. 

When Rhea entered the room, ready to give a speech, Edelgard and Hubert abandoned the little relaxation that might have been in their postures. The head of the church, the main defender of the system that she so badly wanted to destroy. Her hidden dragon form and her approval for the nobility had made her her enemy for a long time. 

Before being lost in her thoughts, Edelgard preferred to observe the woman, Byleth. She looked like a great warrior, but not much older than all of them, something that made Edelgard eager to learn from her. 

Rhea commented something about the Flame Emperor, as a threat to the church and a warning of the care that should be taken and retired to never be seen again (at least by the students residing in the building). 

Upon leaving the speech, Edelgard was determined to learn more about Byleth, who was now walking with a man with features very similar to hers. " _Her brother, I guess._ " 

When she approached and called her name Edelgard realized that she had no excuse to speak to her. Before the silence that had formed between the three became too awkward, she had to think quickly of something to say. 

"Between the kingdom, the alliance, and the empire, which one would you choose?"

Byleth looked at her perplexed, as was her brother, who didn't seem to be in a very good mood. 

"The Adrestian Empire, I suppose." She replied after a little thought. “Because of it’s history.”

“Then, will you choose us when you have to make the teacher choice?”

Teacher choice? Byleth was new, she had barely arrived. Seteth had not bothered to explain half of the youth meetings to her or her brother Beret. 

"What's that?" She asked, hoping she didn't sound too lost. 

"Hm. I guess they haven't explained it to you yet. During the month that the meeting lasts we have different activities and classes. Not many, this is not a school and is more destined to improve relations between the next generation of rulers, but if you choose the Black Eagle, the kids from the empire, you will be able to spend more time with us. ”

“ Oh. ” 

“Then, will you choose the Black Eagles?” Edelgard didn’t knew why she was so insistent, it just seemed right. The woman seemed worthy of admiration, strong with weapons and unlike anything she had seen so far. An inner voice that sounded tremendously similar to Hubert's reminded her that she shouldn’t trust so quickly, but she decided to ignore it. 

“The nobles of the empire don't seem like bad kids.” Commented the man, who until now had remained silent. "Jeritza has told me that they can be a bit of a mess sometimes, but they are good." 

Edelgard looked at him, leaving behind the silly smile that had come out looking at Byleth but not putting on an unpleasant expression either. The man didn’t seem to care, having the same expression of impassivity.

Jeritza had been their teacher last year, Caspar had taken a certain affection to him for his extreme strength with weapons and their little age gap. The boy was probably whom he was thinking of when speaking about them. 

"My name is Beret." He finally said. Edelgard hadn’t asked, but it was good to know. 

"Hm. I'll think about it then.” Byleth nodded. "Who will you choose?" She asked, addressing her brother. 

“Hanneman told me that he had already chosen the children of the kingdom, and Jeritza has no intention of choosing this time. He says he prefers to remain as a secondary teacher.”

“Whatever your decision is, I hope it is the right one.” Edelgard interrupted, intending to leave. As much as she had wanted to start the conversation, during it’s course she had begun to feel just like hours before. She looked around, trying to find the cause in vain. 

This experience would happen again on numerous occasions in the following month. She was sure there was no demon in the monastery, they were even more sensitive to sacred spaces than vampires, and yet Jeritza already had some problems. It wasn’t the man, Edelgard knew perfectly well that Jeritza could completely hide his presence. 

During the first days the white-haired girl who was next to Claude raised suspicions, always in the shadows, never seen in the dining room. It was when Claude approached her to speak amicably, as they had done so many times, about her ideals (although she hid most of her plans), that she realized, and she had never felt so completely stupid. The dryness in the throat, all your skin like goosebumps and the creeps. A feeling of similarity and danger at the same time. Her senses screaming at her to run away, it's a monster. But at the same time, you are the same.

When Jeritza taught them she was the only one who had known about his condition, not only because the Flame Emperor worked with his alter ego, but because of the sensations he caused to her when he acquired his vampire form. When neither Linhardt, nor Hubert, nor any of her mates felt the same, she had begun to suspect the true effects of the experiments that his supposed uncle had inflicted on her.

Lysithea was a vampire. Lysithea had the same marks as her and was a vampire. 

Edelgard had taken pride in not being the same puppet that her father had been, but could she really do it when she hadn't realized the obvious? We have only played a little with your dragon scale, they had told her. Maybe it was true, but they had completely omitted the most vital information. 

Lysithea was a vampire, but Edelgard was absolutely certain that she herself wasn’t one. She had been able to continue her life as a human, eat the same food as her classmates and go out in the sun. She could use silver, the metal used by the holy dragons so long ago, her body grew and she didn't need to rely on blood.

“ _Although sometimes you have wanted to._ ” She recalled, and this only increased her feeling of anguish. 

It was true that after the experiments she was stronger. She had a fraction of the powers of a vampire, but everything that could be hidden by a human life. “ _Dhampir, then._ ” She said to herself. 

It was clear that she had some part of a vampire in her, but she wasn’t whole. She was still weak as a human. 

When she was in her room, again alone and locked up, she realized that the experiment hadn’t been completed. She was a weapon for demons, and all this time she had thought she was free from more pain was just a period of incubation. Lysithea had been the test, she was the final weapon. 

She searched exhaustively during the night, so that no one would suspect her, and hiding it from Hubert, books about vampires, demons, werewolves. During the day she chatted with Lysithea, encouraged by Claude, and the fear that had filled her when she had seen the girl the first few times had been transformed by a kind of love arising from compression, compassion, sorrow, she would say. 

Neither said the obvious out loud, perhaps to avoid a very sentimental moment that destroyed the walls that both had built around their traumas. Edelgard gave the girl sweets, accompanied her to classes and they drank tea together. Little by little, both the Golden Deer and the Black Eagles began to strengthen their ties, Ferdinand finding a good friend in Lorenz and Caspar spending a lot of time together with the new members, commoners, Raphael and Ignatz. Petra and Claude talked about the difficulties they both suffered, and so on. 

Within the relationships of the eagles themselves, Edelgard had noticed how Caspar, at first open and friendly, always next to Petra to train with her and become her friend, avoided her. Petra seemed worried about this, even though she didn't tell anyone. 

Edelgard wanted to discuss the matter with her, but when she prepared to do it she found that they alone were talking about the problem. 

"Caspar. You have been… been avoiding me."

“Yes.” Replied the now timid boy. 

"May I be asking why?" Petra seemed slightly disappointed, more than angry, probably waiting for the answer. 

"Well ... You know who my father is, don't you?"

Realization hit Edelgard. “ _Oh._ "

"Yes, he is an honorable member of the army." The girl looked somewhat surprised, but little by little she could see how affliction, anguish and pain filled her body. Petra already knew the direction things were taking.

“In the war… in the war it was he who killed your father. I found out two days ago, when I told him about you in a letter.” 

Caspar raised his head, on the verge of tears, but Petra was no longer there. 

"Petra?" He shouted, but received no answer.

Edelgard thought about following the princess, but she decided to leave her some time for grieving. She knew Petra wouldn't hate Caspar if she didn't hate her, but it wasn't nice being reminded you of the death of your beloved relatives.

That same night she found Petra next to the lake, near the monastery, while taking one of her night walks to try to forget her future and lack of humanity. 

"Petra?" 

"Lady Edelgard!" She exclaimed with surprise.

"Are you okay? What are you doing here at this time of night? ” She knew perfectly why, but she was not going to admit that she had spied on them a little. 

"I can ask the same thing."

Edelgard came over and sat next to the other girl. “I just wanted to clear my mind, I was thinking about the future.”

“I understand.”

“Now, will you tell me what happens to you?”

Petra nodded, and proceeded to tell what had happened. “I know that the children of the empire are not the same as their parents. You and Hubert, Ferdinand and Linhardt are... “ She searched for the right word. "Examples?" She asked with her eyes, and when Edelgard nodded she continued. “But he speaks proudly of his father. I hate his father, he killed mine."

“I understand that it’s complicated. For us, Ferdinand, Hubert, Caspar and I, we know that our parents have done much wrong. It’s easy for me to... hate my father, but we still love them because they were the ones who raised us, who treated us well in childhood. They love us, they treat us well. We are high class, from the country that oppresses yours. However, to others... "

"I have no doubt that your parents are- they are good in a personal sense.But…” She sighed. “Caspar is a great friend. I love him for that. But when he talks about his father… It's easier with you, that you hate them or don't like them publicly.”

“You should talk this with him. He'll understand, he feels guilty for his father's actions, but he really appreciates you as a friend.”

"Sorry, I don't understand that in your language."

When Edelgard was perplexed looking at her, Petra laughed out loud. 

"A joke. I understand that, I will try to follow the advice." 

Edelgard, somewhat embarrassed, accompanied her to her room after the conversation.

That same night, when she dared to open the book she had found, she learned the hierarchy of vampires. Those who had transformed thanks to a kind of mutation in the dragon scale they possessed, and that had gone well, were near the top. At the peak, almost reaching the force of demons, were the vampires from birth. In the lowest part, those who had lost control, whether previously human or born of pure blood, and above them humans transformed with inappropriate, forced methods, which had little difference from vampires who were simply transformed humans, just more hunger. 

All vampires who possessed a dragon scale, or a percentage of dragon in their blood, were automatically stronger than the rest of their companions. 

“ _Religion again._ ” She thought, filled with hate. 

Despite the terror that caused her to be aware that at some point in the next two years she was going to have to return to the cell, knowing something more of the truth that had been hidden calmed her slightly.

The next memories she had of the time were happy moments, stained by the knowledge of her imminent future and the war that shadowed the sunny meadow that was her life, illuminated Byleth and the others, but especially Byleth.

The woman, along with Claude, had become her best discussion partner. Hubert was too, for years, but he kept quiet many of the things he knew Edelgard wouldn’t accept, being he much more cruel than her. War, the humanity of a person, monsters and nightmares. With Claude she kept more things to herself, talking only about political aspects and their group of friends, and very occasionally revealing her true feelings. 

Dimitri was... strange. She noticed something in him, but he wasn't a vampire. " _Maybe..._ _a werewolf?"_

She knew that if she sought allies for the war, he would be the one to oppose the most. Lately Claude seemed to leave clues that he would support her, but she didn't want to dream. Either way, the demons would not let her make allies, nor could she allow them to see that her goals derived from theirs. 

But with Byleth it was so easy to let go, so easy to tell her all the doubts and fears that plagued her that when they saw each other outside the youth meetings, away from the controlling hands of the church, she was able to show her some of her scars. Byleth didn’t know it, not even herself knew at that moment, but she had fallen in love thanks to the letters and the tea parties, thanks to the walks in the gardens and the visits to the city. 

Admiration, it was what she called it. Just like the one she saw affecting Jeritza, too, when he was with Beret. 

When she spoke with Beret, on the few occasions when he was not training with Felix, Jeritza, or talking with Claude, Dimitri, or the Black Eagles men, it was impossible not to compare him to Byleth. When she told the man this, thinking that he would laugh at her, he simply nodded. 

"People say that a lot." He reasoned. "But we have differences. She’s more talkative, but I know more about my emotions." 

Because of that observation, Edelgard was encouraged to tell him about the sudden admiration she had for his sister, but it became impossible when Hilda shouted something about Sylvain and Felix making out and the man ran away. 

That same admiration that led her to plead to any entity that truly had mercy on humans to never be separated from her. But she forgot that she was not human, and months before finally attacking the monastery, between the time of her last two youth meetings, she was abducted, again, with the excuse of a family trip. 

In the underground cells she relived her greatest fears, this time without the embrace of any sister who comforted her or the hope of dying as soon as possible. Her mind, doing her a favor, had decided to completely forget this period. One, two months, she didn't know how long she had been locked up, but she knew it had definitely been less than the first time. 

It was only on the worst nights that she relived the horrors, her screams and her despair that she knew well wouldn’t reach anyone and only pleased the demons that tortured her. 

When she returned to the castle, unable to feel any kind of human emotion as it had happened so long ago, in a constant trance dissociating from reality, the first thing she could register were Hubert's tears. She had never seen the man cry, not even when they were kids and he fell, not even when he was punished, never a single tear. 

His face, which was usually serious and intimidating, whose only expression was a smile that many labeled as malevolent, was totally deformed by tears and sobs. Red where before was the white of his eyes, wrinkled nose and eyebrows between rage and affliction.

The worry of his face, the pain she knew he felt for her, probably how useless he felt about letting her go to torture a second time. 

"I'm sorry, Lady Edelgard." He kept repeating, as he hugged her in front of the stunned look of the rest of the Black Eagles. Warm tears made her clothes wet, but she didn’t mind.

At the news of her return everyone had gathered, including Byleth and Beret. If she had remained human Edelgard assumed that she would have felt some happiness, instead of emptiness and apathy.

It was impossible for her to reconnect with those she had loved so much. The admiration had been replaced by indifference, love and affection for thirst and hunger. A thirst and hunger that consumed her little by little, as she consumed the farm animals that were around the castle.

Everyone, including Linhardt, tried to amend their relations with her the first few weeks. She could remember how the same thing had happened years before, but only with Hubert. She knew that she should be delighted for having friends who cared for her, but the sun had already left her life completely and the shadows were the only thing that plagued her interior. 

She didn’t speak during the first two months, until they went back to the youth meetings. She had already begun to feel something again, blaming the trauma, and not her vampire condition, of her detachment.

"I'm sorry." Was the only thing she said, leaving everyone in the carriage stunned. It was little, but it was (another) start.

Already in the monastery, she didn’t attend the speech. Byleth, like last time, went to look for her, but this time she didn’t insist. Edelgard had already been able to recover her feelings, something that at the time did not benefit her. She was unable to feel any positive emotion, the burden, the unease, the loneliness and the fury of seeing how again she was too weak to defend herself kept her unable to see anyone and not break into pieces, at least that night.

Oh, but Byleth had to worry. Byleth had to arrive and look at her with those eyes that seemed to know everything, look up and down at her monstrous being for the first time (she had been smart enough to hide all her symptoms), and hug her.

Edelgard wanted to push her away, destroy the grief she felt for her by telling her the truth. It was she who was causing, and would cause chaos in the territories, it was she who worked with the demons side by side. Despite what they had done to her, despite being her laboratory rat (just like the ones she had spent so much time with in the cells), despite being their weapon, she wasn’t much better than them. 

Perhaps her ideals were noble, but she didn’t deserve her compassion.

Little did her hate for herself help to stop her tears, or prevented her from breaking into Byleth's arms. It was true that the hug was awkward, a little rough, but it was enough for her. 

She didn't tell her everything, but she confessed her vampirism. Byleth already knew about her siblings, already knew about the experiments. Now she knew the cause. She confessed the thirst she suffered, how separated she felt from humans. 

Byleth stared at her and offered her neck. 

"I can't." Edelgard whispered, her face slightly lit by the candles in the room. But when, little by little, thirst and instincts took possession of her, she could. The satisfaction and possessiveness she felt when she saw the marks of her fangs in Byleth, fused with grief and self-loathing, forced her to look away in embarrassment. She decided to hide those feelings.

Edelgard begged the other woman to leave, assuring her that she was feeling better now. She didn't raise her head, opting for looking at the now slightly stained sheets, but she knew she hadn't believed her. At least she had left her alone after a while, alone to process the love she had realized she had for Byleth. No admiration, no friendship. She was totally in love. 

She blamed this change on her vampire condition, this obsession and lust. And she ignored them, except when Byleth visited her, her eyes so worried, her neck prepared to feed the monster inside her. 

During her last youth meeting, before she attacked the monastery, she behaved like a normal person again. Everyone saw and noticed that she was now more reserved, more cautious, even more than before. But at least she talked, spent time with her friends.

It was on the second day that she found herself face to face with Lysithea, and the look on the younger girl said that she knew immediately. Edelgard looked at her impassively, not knowing very well what to do. She wasn’t going to cry, to act like a victim. She had to be strong, for herself and for all of Fódlan, but she didn't want to distance herself from the other vampire either. 

Finally Lysithea left her face of horror and surprise behind and nodded. Understanding, grief, compassion replaced the old emotions.

"Edelgard, follow me, please." 

Now she was the one to be surprised, but she trusted the girl too much to question her. 

She led her to a hidden room in the side of the monastery, in front of Claude and Dimitri, and oh, now she was able to understand why all the alarms rang in her body when she saw them. 

"Claude ..." She began to say. “You are a fairy.”

“Half fairy, but yes.” The mocking smile he had worn before had disappeared, combining with the serious countenance that the other people in the room carried. Edelgard supposed that he knew Lysithea's situation, and therefore hers.

"And you a werewolf… No, a werelion." 

Dimitri nodded. "Both me and Dedue, the result of the tragedy of Duscur."

Edelgard stared at him, pensive as to whether he knew the truth of the tragedy. She knew that Dimitri was a fierce defender of the people of Duscur, and their wishes for independence, parallel to her own, to give Petra her land back. 

Dimitri seemed to understand what she thought, because he spoke. "I don't blame you for the tragedy, you and your mother are not the same."

This surprised Edelgard. "M-my mother?"

Dimitri also looked confused, but continued. "Your mother conspired against the kingdom, giving way to our enemies attacking us in Duscur."

Claude interrupted before the conversation continued. "Edelgard."

"Yes?"

"We know you're going to start a war."

Oh.

" _No point of hiding it now_." She thought.

“I don't care if you object. In fact, I already planned it,” she said, trying to stand up to intimidate them. It was at times like these that she needed Hubert. 

"We are not going to object." Claude began. Dimitri didn't seem so sure. 

“ _That is because you do not know the totality of what's going on._ ” she thought, but kept quiet.

“We have known each other for years, we have debated millions of times your ideals and mine. Even a couple of times we have discussed what would happen if there was a war. Unless you've been lying to us since you were thirteen, you go against the church.”

Edelgard nodded. She knew Claude was smart, too. Perhaps she could ally with them behind the backs of demons before finally eliminating her captors. 

“My dream is to unite these lands, but respect cultures. I know that your main objective is the class system, to give the lower class a chance. Dimitri wants to help the oppressed, without opportunities. Between the three of us we can do something big."

Dimitri raised his voice. “I don't agree with destroying the church. But I don't want a war either… If we can solve this peacefully, it would be the best. ”

“The church is the one that supports the current class system. If it continues, any progress for disadvantaged classes will be in vain. The root of the problem will remain there. It is a corrupt organization, which controls humans and their governments. Personally I don't believe in the goddess they tries to sell us so much, and I find the cult of her being unnecessary and a lie.”

Dimitri grew more nervous every second. 

“But my goal is to destroy their political power. I am no one to get into people's personal or individual beliefs, as stupid as I might find them."

Claude observed the blond, who didn't seem very convinced, but who thanks to Beret had begun to understand Edelgard's way of thinking. The two mercenaries largely coincided with Edelgard, perhaps not as aggressive, but they had done a great job, unintencionally paving the way. 

They promised to talk about it again later, and Edelgard would have returned to the company of Hubert and Byleth more relieved if Claude hadn't whispered "Why do you talk about humans when you have stopped being one?" Just before leaving. 

From the period until the war she remembered little more than her growing sense of guilt and love for Byleth, the distrust of Claude that was only diminished by Lysithea's assurances that he intended the best, and how bad it felt not being able to enjoy a normal adolescence.

During this time it was when Hubert asked her to meet one night, the two alone. She thought that he would offer his blood again, but instead he got in his knees and begged her to transform him into a vampire too, so he might be able to protect her, to be stronger in the war and be able to defeat Claude and Dimitri in case they they betrayed her. Edelgard did it, the first transformation she had done. The man had begged her so much, and she wanted so little to lose him, that it was easy, despite knowing that it was surely not the right thing to do. That he deserved a normal life. 

After that she had been the one to lent Hubert blood, and the one to keep a close eye on him. The next morning Claude gave her a questioning look, shrugging after. 

"I guess the rat is a vamp now too."

"If he's a rat, I'm a rat too." Edelgard defended him. Hilda, who was accompaning Claude laughed, but Lyshitea looked uncomfortable. 

"Edelgard, can I ask you something in private?" She said, looking specially at Claude and Hilda. 

"Yes, of course." She answered, walking away with the girl. Hubert followed her. 

"Why?" 

"Why what?"

"Why did you transform him." 

She sighed. She knew this was coming. "He asked me to do it." 

"And? You could've said no. Do you really need a servant forever?" The slight anger in her voice put Edelgard on edge, she loved the girl too much to have disappointed her.

"Hubert is not only my servant but my f-" 

"This is my own decision, Lyshitea. Our ways of seeing vampirism may differ, but I ask you to respect my choices." Interrupted the man. 

The girl didn't look satisfied with that, but he was so intimidating she knew she wouldn't get much more of an answer. 

"My second questions is, how have you been feeding?"

"Of farm animals when I'm Enbarr, but Professor Byleth offers her blood from time to time."

"W-what?" 

"You've been feeding of Professor Byleth!?" Hubert asked slightly altered. "I won't question your choices, Lady Edelgard, but I offered you mine." 

"Hubert, do you know what you're implying?" Lyshitea spoke, blushing a bit. She couldn't believe these people. "Feeding of someone… when we've not lost control… it's kind of intimate. Very intimate, in fact." 

Hubert appeared lost, not knowing what Lyshitea was referring to, but Edelgard knew immediately. 

"Oh." 

"Good for you, I guess. But this is a new side of you I didn't knew about." 

Edelgard wanted to protest, to complain, but the heavy blush on her face only made things worse. 

A cough and a new topic, that was her solution. 

"And how have you been feeding, if I can ask?"

"Oh, the people in the kitchen know that they have to give me a bottle of animal blood from time to time. They think it's for magic studies, I don't remember exactly what I told them." 

"It would be convenient for me too." Hubert said. 

"I can ask them to deliver one for you too. In your case, Edelgard… I think you're well feed." She almost laughed. 

"No, tell them I will need one too." Edelgard tried to hide her growing embarrassment. 

The memories after that were just an agglomeration of moments with Lysithea, Byleth letting her consume blood from her, learning more about Beret and working alongside students from other houses.

Her dreams were stopped by a heartbreaking scream that woke her up. Dislocated and surprised that she wasn't the one who produced them, she quickly got up the bed and held Byleth by the shoulders. It took little to get her to wake her up, but the fangs totally out and the crimson of her girlfriend's pupils, reflected by a start of tears and moisture in her eyes, did little to calm her.

"Byleth." She whispered. 

The woman looked around, as if checking where she was, before looking back at Edelgard. With a more stable breath and her eyes returning to their natural color, she spoke.

"I'm sorry."

Edelgard released her, leaving room for her to sit up while she leaned on her elbows. Byleth tried to fix her disheveled and sweaty hair without any result.

“You don't have to apologize. I don't know how many times I have woken you up with my nightmares.” Edelgard tried to take her hand, but Byleth shook it away shakily. " _Not now_." She said with her eyes. 

"Can I ask what it was about?" She tried to talk to her again. 

Byleth was now turning her back to her, looking at the wooden floor that looked like it would fall in the next few years. She made a gesture of drying some tears, to which Edelgard responded by putting her hand on her back, as emotional support. 

When she began to stroke her, the woman took a great breath and whispered.

"It was about Jeralt."

Oh. 

Edelgard could do little of help for this type of nightmares, the most common in her girlfriend, feeling partly guilty for the death of the man. It hadn't been her, nor had it been her plan, she had not even had knowledge of what would happen at that time. But they had been her allies, those she had asked Byleth to ignore when working with them, to forgive her because they were necessary at the time. 

She wasn't going to say it out loud because Byleth would insist on focusing on her, how she was not to blame. And now she wanted to focus on Byleth. She had already confessed to her on other occasions, when they had been in similar situations, that she felt guilty. She could have saved him, she had repeated over and over again. If she had been smarter, faster. 

"Don't think so much about the past." Edelgard said loudly, to Byleth's surprise. “You can lament, be afflicted by your loss, but remorse will not lead you to anything. We have to keep going."

 _“Like you, who doesn't cry for your siblings or commemorate their death? You have decided to forget them and work with those who killed them, like the cold and calculating woman you are!_ (Edelgard was sure she was about to say bitch) _If you have feelings, you have buried them so much that they don't exist anymore."_

The same woman who stood before her had responded that during the war, when she had been carried away by her emotions. With words similar to what Dimitri would say to her months later, Byleth had stunned Edelgard, so long ago.

And she had realized that the way to cope with the pain was very different between them. Edelgard hadn't had a chance to get carried away by her feelings of revenge, pain and grief. Her anger had had to be kept hidden, transforming it into her machinations with Hubert, being the reason of her actions. Yes, it was true that her interests hadn't been exactly the purest, but the death of her siblings and the torture to which she had been subjected were the fuel of her ideals, not of her violence. 

At that time, days later, Byleth had apologized to Edelgard. Right after she told her those cruel words Edelgard had fled, she had hidden her feelings again to be the spearhead of the revolution and focused on her war meetings. 

Edelgard had to accept them, knowing that it was pain and not the woman who had spoken to her in front of the deceased mercenary's grave. 

Now Byleth was looking at her sideways, knowing she was right, that it had been a long time, but it still hurt. She still felt the stab in her heart like the first time, she still felt Beret's arms surrounding her as the two sobbed in front of Jeralt's lifeless body. 

Edelgard's hug pulled her out of her trance, and she allowed herself to melt in it. Edelgard laid her on the bed again, tucked her in, and kissed her. 

"Please, rest." She begged. 

Byleth couldn't say no to that face, and closed her eyes. It wasn't until a while later, even knowing that Edelgard had not yet fallen asleep, that she could fall asleep again. She hoped the other woman could sleep too, but she didn't have much hope, knowing El.

Edelgard meanwhile waited for Byleth to sleep and left the room. It was dawn, much earlier than she expected, and no one in the house should be awake, but she needed some blood to calm her inner whirlwind. 

In the kitchen she met Dorothea, drinking an exaggeratedly large glass of blood. Hearing the footsteps the vampire cleaned her spotted chin from the delicacy and tried to make herself presentable. 

"Edie!" Shee smiled, but Edelgard knew it was fake.

"Dorothea." 

"What brings you here?" Shee said, giving way to worry.

"Byleth had a nightmare, she woke me up." She sat next to the singer, taking the glass that was offered to her and the seat next to the singer's. Both were in pajamas, but they didn't care. 

"Oh."

"And you?" 

Dorothea looked away and fiddled a little with her hair. " _Guilt._ ” Edelgard thought, having learned to read all the woman's gestures. 

"Petra said she is coming back."

"Why are you so sad then? To my knowledge, it should be great news for you.” She tested the water, being aware of Petra's feelings for the woman. A night similar to this she had confessed it to her, not long ago, and had even asked for help. Edelgard had assured her that whatever she did would please Dorothea, but maybe she had given her some hints and clues, thanks to memories of their relationship. 

"She's coming back because I'm sad, because I can't take care of myself."

Edelgard sighed. She was often in the same situation, but she could identify Dorothea when she hated herself stupidly. The singer was convinced that she didn't deserve genuine affection and compression, only if they had a bad intention behind them, and no matter the years that passed, when she fell back in her stages of affliction and loneliness her old fears resurfaced. 

"Dorothea." Shee said firmly. The singer looked at her somewhat scared, as if she expected a punishment. “Petra has a lot of appreciation for you. You are her best friend, a person who has spent the last centuries with her, for the good and for the bad. Rest assured that you are not a nuisance to her. Her concern is genuine."

“I know." She replied, and Edelgard was almost certain she wasn't going to say anything else, until she opened her mouth again after a big swallow of blood. “But I don't deserve it. I don't think it's real."

Dorothea had looked away from her, something she couldn't allow. She would make it clear that she was wonderful, by any means. With her hands she took Dorothea's face and forced her to look her in the eye. Dorothea's eyes widened with surprise, and if the singer didn't have self-control, she would have asked her right there to please kiss her. 

" _Please Dorothea, have a little decency._ " She said to herself.

“Your social class does not define what you deserve or not deserve.”

“ _Direct to the cause, as always, Edie._ ” Dorothea smiled slightly, before the tears began to run down her face. Edelgard was not releasing her yet.

"When we were together, did you ever believe that I really loved you, or did you think you were like one of my father's many wives, irrelevant to the emperor?" 

Dorothea, with her heart in a fist that didn't stop squeezing, tried to escape, to look away, but Edelgard didn't release her until an ugly sob, inappropriate for an opera singer like her, escaped her lips. Then she placed a hand on her arm, as emotional support, or as an attempt. Edelgard was not proud of her social skills, but she was trying. 

“Edie.” It started, and Dorothea was sure she was ready to confess everything. The accidents, the residual love she had for her, how much she missed her kisses and hugs. How much her heart ached for all the love she had inside for her, but she didn't know if it was starting to beat for other reasons she still didn't identify. 

Edelgard, knowing that the other woman didn't need any more abrupt and cruel words, hugged her with all the force that her arm could give her. Dorothea sobbed on her shoulder, staining her pajamas of tears. Edelgard assured her that it didn't matter. When Dorothea was about to tell her secret, open about her fears, Edelgard kissed her head with affection and broke the hug. 

"Please, think about what I told you." She whispered, and left her with a heart more broken than before. It felt good, it felt good to be loved. But at the same time it hurt so much, friendship, love, affection. She, trembling, picked up the glasses from the kitchen and returned to her room, hoping to fall asleep once more, trying to forget how good of a friend Edie could be.


	5. How beautiful she looked in the moonlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a bernie chapter because i love her

Dorothea had managed to calm her whirlwind of emotions as of late. The last few days, where there had been no news of Petra, she had spent them relentlessly reading, listening to the radio, talking with Bernadetta and discussing with Ferdinand his attraction to Hubert to ignore her own feelings for Edelgard. She couldn't rest for a second, because if she did she knew she was going to think and thinking was bad.

Thinking meant recalling the last accident, her last victim, the face of that man who, to be fair, was leaving a brothel, but had done nothing worse than catcalling her. 

It also meant torturing herself again thinking about Edie, her beloved Edie, and how happy she was with Byleth, who had been nothing but good to her, and how much she hated herself. 

Together with the woman herself she was sitting right now, playing a quick game of cards. Ferdinand was reading in the other corner of the room a play that she had recommended, while Caspar and Linhardt had decided to take a nap outside, Hubert and Edelgard talked about a private subject and Bernadetta slept according to her human schedules. 

And, although she had begun to play cards to run away from her thoughts, the monotony of the game alongside with the silence of the room were the perfect conditions for her to begin to wander.

And when she felt he was going to sink at last, when Byleth had taken too long deciding her moves for the next turn, she felt a hug from behind. Strong, warm arms that surrounded her with the love and affection she had missed so much. On her shoulder a new weight, a chin sticking in, and in front of her the surprise faces of Byleth and Ferdinand.

"Petra?" She asked, unable to believe the situation.

She didn't hear a yes for an answer, only arms ripping her from her seat and pressing her against the other woman's body so she wouldn't fall. Petra, it was Petra. Petra was back and the first thing she had done was taking her in her arms as she looked at her with those eyes so warm and majestic. 

“Dorothea, are you all right? Why are you crying?” She said, surprised, and Dorothea brought a hand to her face. Not even she had noticed her own tears.

She couldn’t answer, her throat as if trapped by a hand that pressed it. Sadness and guilt mixed with the happiness of being with  _ her _ , of knowing that someone cared so much that she was capable of making such gestures just because she had seen her. 

"Yes." She finally said. "Don't worry."

Ferdinand joked that she could let her go, that Dorothea had legs that worked, and if it wasn't too embarrassing Dorothea would’ve shut him up admitting how good it felt to be held. The whole situation seemed already too embarrassing, her face painted a crimson color that wasn’t usual on her. Normally she was the one who made people blush, the one who held the reins of her love life and the one who started any kind of contact, not the other way around.

Having someone who knew what she wanted, or knew what made her feel good... she already had problems with her feelings for Edelgard as to now add Petra to the basket. 

The warm on her side because of the contact with Petra followed her like a ghost for the rest of the day. 

Petra spent little time talking with Byleth and Ferdinand, denying their proposals to notify the rest of her return.

"I'm back for Dorothea." She said, straight to the point. The singer had to suppress her desire to hug her to avoid more looks from them.

Petra's behavior with Dorothea was not strange, but until then they had been so accustomed to it that they hadn’t noticed the obvious signs. Not even Dorothea, who was now in a strange mix of bliss and embarrassment, and who took pride in her romantic abilities, had dared to think about the romantic implications of the other’s actions in the previous months. 

And as much as she would’ve liked to think like that, to think that Petra really had feelings for her that she had been ignoring all this time, she knew that fairy tales weren’t true. The girl was somewhat clumsy in social terms and surely it was just that, the love you have for a friend. Although if it was really love, she wouldn't object. 

In her trance Petra took her by the hand, causing her mind to wonder again the nature of their relationship. When she looked into her eyes she felt as the air rushed out of her lungs and her mouth dried out. Maybe it was she who had feelings and hadn't noticed. 

“ _ Great. _ " She thought. “ _ Simply great. It was not enough with Edie now I have to worry about this too. Can I stop falling for people? _ "

“Can we speak privately?" Petra asked, looking at her eyes.

"Yes," She said, with a very, _very_ panicked voice, improper of a singer like her. 

The two alone, in the kitchen, each with a glass of blood in front. Dorothea was full with courage and decided to leave behind her melancholy and sadness, being with Petra had filled her with sudden audacity that encouraged her to take the reins of physical contact instead of becoming an outburst of nerves and insecurities. She wasn't going to allow herself to be in Edelgard's state of mind so many years ago, she just wasn't going to get so low. 

"How are you?" Petra spoke first.

"I’m fine, thanks for coming." She smiled. “ _ I’m happy.” _ She reminded herself. 

"Are you sure?" 

“Petra, with you here I’m already much happier than before. Don't worry.” She kissed her cheek, and the other woman didn’t refuse, but she felt her body tense. 

“Are **you** all right?”

“Yes, you don't need to worry about me. I'm here for you. ”

“And that means I can't be interested in how are you?”

“ Yes, but you've already worried about me in the past, let me—”

“Petra." She cut her, looking her straight in the eye. She was sure that if Petra hadn't come back, she'd be thinking about how much she missed having a relationship or how much of a freak she was. But having the woman by her side made her forget all her problems, it was in itself an air of normalcy and an outburst of happiness in her being. When she was with her she was so immersed in the other woman that all kinds of worries were background noise.

When she had met Edelgard, she had felt that way too. 

" _ Don't go that way _ ." She said to herself. 

“You are a wonderful friend. The best, for the good and for the bad." Disappointment, discontent, pain Dorothea could see in Petra's face. But why? “If you have returned from your homeland, the one you so longed for, the one that you have told me so many stories and tales about, if you have made such a sacrifice for me, why can't I do it for you?”

“Yes you can. But there is nothing now that causes me affliction."

With a hand on her cheek, gently stroking her, Dorothea said her next words. “So what are those emotions that I see in your face? What happens to you that you can't tell me about it, when I tell you all the pains that plague my heart and my nightmares? Do you fear that I will judge you, or is it worse than my unresolved feelings or my outbursts of monstrosity?"

“It's none of that." She said, fiddling with the little box in her pocket. “If it hurts you so much that I don’t trust you with this problem, I will tell you what it is. But right now I’m not ready. If you let me, I beg you to wait a little longer."

“Okay." She withdrew her hand. She didn't like it, but she would have to take it. 

After a few minutes of lighter talk, less emotionally charged, the noise of Edelgard's shoes approaching the kitchen alerted the two vampires. “ _ It's not the best moment to show yourself.”  _ Dorothea thought.

When Edelgard entered the room the tension could be cut with a knife. It soon dissipated, when Dorothea looked into her eyes and felt all her emotions become one. 

"How was the talk with Hubert?" She asked, as the woman took a glass for herself.

"It was all right. We talked about…" She stopped looking at Petra. 

"I won't say anything."

Edelgard nodded, and continued talking. "Ferdinand. He has been avoiding him lately, and the poor man is too in love by him. He wants to do something, but the least he wants now is to scare him."

Dorothea nodded. “I can't talk about Ferdie's situation at his request, but right now I don't think it's the best idea. But he should wait a little, I just think that."

“I will let him know, then.”

In the silence that followed, while Edelgard was entertaining herself in drinking blood and giving Petra insinuating glances, she didn't miss how Dorothea looked at Edelgard. Full of admiration, as if she were the very prince of her dreams. And maybe it was that unattainable nature that made her totally drunk with women, Petra reflected.

But while absorbed, and with the same intensity, Dorothea seemed uncomfortable. She looked sideways at Petra, especially looking at her lips, and with a look that reflected a little panic, she brushed her chair away and stood up. 

"It's too late for humans, I think I should wake Bernie up." 

Edelgard seemed to want to stop her, but without any excuse to do so, she let her go. Then, alone with Edelgard, the silence continued. Petra started fiddling with the soft box in her pocket, being even more aware than before of her situation. 

"Can you stop looking at me like that, please?" She said in a somewhat rude tone, although that was not her intention. 

"I'm sorry." Edelgard replied, but they both knew she was lying. “It's just that it's so obvious. I can't wait to see you two happy.”

“I think you're getting too ahead of yourself."

Edelgard sighed, having heard that same phrase too many times. “Petra, I know Dorothea. We were together, remember?"

“Yes.”

“I know you two would make a great couple. Better than me and her, even. For Dorothea you are familiarity, home, well-being. One shoulder to cry on and someone to always come back to.”

Petra nodded, but she wasn't quite sure she understood her. Not wanting to hear more of the same, she took the box out of her pocket and showed it to Edelgard. 

"What is this?"

"The wedding ring my father used, and before him, my grandfather."

Edelgard's eyes widened, surprised. "I think you should wait a little to declare marriage."

"I won't ask her to marry me, even if I would like to." Petra replied, kind of flustered. She hadn't quite thought the implications of the object until that moment. "But if one day we have been enough time together... yes, I will give it to her."

"May I ask where you got it from?"

"One of my reasons for going to Brigid was to buy this from a private gallery. I know it's something historic, that it should be in a museum, but it's from my family... And I wanted to get it back.”

Edelgard nodded. "I get it. In this same house we are not short of objects that should belong to museums." She said looking at her own pendants and jewelry. The weapons that they all kept in their rooms were not exempt from historical value. 

"When I saw it..." Petra said, running her finger over it. “I knew instantly that I wanted to give it to Dorothea. I know nobody would be surprised if I give it to her now, but it has great sentimental value to me.” The color red returned to her cheeks. “I want it to be important for her too.”

“ _ You are going to make the best of couples. _ ” Edelgard thought, already visualizing the happiness on Dorothea's face. Having to hear both of them talking about each other was painful, knowing that if they really confessed their feelings they would reach that happiness they so longed for. 

While Petra was absorbed looking at the ring, Edelgard laid her hand on hers. "Good luck, Queen of Brigid."

"I need it."

Edelgard sighed, knowing she wouldn't get anything arguing with the other woman. With one hand on her shoulder and a small goodbye she left the room, saying something about wanting to see Byleth.

Meanwhile Dorothea stopped to calm her breathing in front of the human's room and tried to stop her tears. After a few seconds, she knocked on the door. Without any answer she opened it, and found the girl completely mired in sleep. 

It only took a light touch on her shoulder to wake her up.

“Dorothea? Do you want something?” Bernadetta said, not at all calm by the bright eyes that watched her from the darkness. She decided to light the lamp that had been lent to her, solving little the case of uncanny valley that plagued her with fears and restlessness every time she looked at any of her companions for too long. 

“Petra has come. You don't need to get up yet, but it would be nice if you got to know her. She is very kind, she'll like you.”

Bernadetta nodded, not too sure she was excited to have to interact with someone else. Not having to disappoint or anger her, rather. 

"Is something wrong?" Dorothea asked, noticing the discomfort of the human. 

"No, nothing special." She replied, looking away. "It's just weird."

"Weird?" 

"Being with you, the vampires. Creatures so old, you lived a war. Important people in history, Edelgard started a war! It's… something terrifying.”

“I felt the same when I first arrived at the mansion. The emperor, her ministers... important people, and I, a simple singer. But then you learn that they are people just like everyone else. Edie is shy about her art, Hubert hates tea and Caspar loves animals… once you look closely you realize they're not that different from you or me.”

Bernadetta nodded. She didn't think it was fair to compare their situations, but she would let the vampire speak.

"But, to think that all of you have killed people..."

Dorothea looked away. “ _ Yes, it is horrible. _ “ She didn't blame the girl for feeling so displaced from the group, so terrified. She had a thousand and one reasons to feel this way, especially about her. 

“Think that it was another era. Edie started the war, yes, but before you could hear the trumpets and the swords collide. Personally, I was more interested in not starving and finding a husband, but it was not strange to hear about rebellions or conflicts with the Knights of Seiros at the time. It was meant to happen, and few people had no blood on their hands at the time.” 

“ _ I already know that. _ ” Bernadetta thought, but hearing someone else say it calmed her nerves a little. Dorothea said nothing about them being monsters. Remarkably uncomfortable, as if wanting to run away from the conversation, she got up in the middle of the awkward silence and said "Go down to the living room when you're ready." Without looking back. 

It felt bad to see her like that, but there was little she could do. 

Later, already dressed and having properly presented to Petra, Bernadetta did not know what to think about having another person in the house to please. To make matters worse, she was sitting next to her on the couch. She hadn't been able to lock herself in her room, Caspar wouldn't let her sink into her worst thoughts among all the activities he wanted to do with her, and Petra seemed to follow the same path. 

Byleth, who had just arrived just a week ago, was in the type of people who left her alone. Edelgard cared for her as if she were her little sister, Ferdinand loved to teach her the advances he had made in understanding technology, as well as asking her the same questions her grandfather asked her back at home. She could hear the vampire's voice perfectly if she closed his eyes. 

“Bernadetta! Help me find those pictures of cute dogs you showed me!”

“Can you explain to me again how to put a background photo?”

“ What is an email? Can you make me one?”

As for Hubert… Hubert also left her alone but she didn't like the way he smiled at her. The smile Byleth gave her was not soothing either, but at least it was just awkward. 

Dorothea was wonderful, and Bernadetta couldn't help but love the woman. It was with whom she spent the most intimate moments, in her room combing her hair, putting on makeup, or simply talking. 

This made her nervous, anxious, on the verge of a panic attack. Feeling so good with the singer was both a reason for relief and a reason for stress. She felt that at any moment her father would arrive and separate Dorothea from her side, for being born poor, as he had done with the only child who spoke kindly to her so long ago. 

She also saw Dorothea as superior, in all aspects, of being a woman, of being a person. Dorothea was a femininity she knew she would never reach, not the type she had been been teach, but close. A femininity worthy of someone marrying her.

When, between whispers and tremors, she had confessed this to Dorothea, the woman had almost laughed out loud. As soon as she noticed the face of terror of the human she stopped, trying to explain that nothing was wrong while drying tears from her eyes. 

“Bernie, I am not… I am not a person worth marrying. Yes, I have a good body, I am feminine…" She sighed, and Bernadetta could see the sadness taking over her whole being. “For a long time it was my goal, to have children and to live quietly and submissively with a man with whom I didn't mind being with, who didn't care how I was going to grow old… but… Look at me. I was born poor, surely I am the bastard daughter of a nobleman, of one of his concubines …"

She didn't deign to finish, leaving the sentence to end in a sigh and without looking back at the girl. Bernadetta didn't know what to answer, seeing Dorothea totally shattered by the question. When she wanted to approach to at least comfort the woman physically, however clumsy she was, Dorothea spoke again. 

"You don't know this, but..." She swallowed. “Since I reached adolescence I have been little more than an object for many men. Knowing my position, knowing that I needed their attention, however disgusting and gross it seemed, I played the role of a silly girl who was seduced by them. I still came out as rude, but I softened my discomfort most of the time. There were limits, of course. For many rumors you hear, and believe me, there were many, I didnt sleep with everyone. There were standards, no matter how low they were.”

Bernadetta nodded, letting her know she was listening. Dorothea was almost hugging herself, " _ for comfort."  _ S he  thought. 

“When they didn't interest me, or they were too gross to me, too… rich men, if you know what I mean, I rejected them. The risks were calculated, of course, so the ways were consistent with how much I would get into trouble. There were times that I simply had to attack them, men with hands that tried to touch too much or that wanted to assault me.”

“But none of that has anything to do with how marriageable you are.” Bernadetta replied. She didn't know where the other woman wanted to go with this.

Dorothea gave her a sad but mocking smile, which left the girl even more confused. 

"Perhaps, if I hadn't gone for money men, my luck would have been different. But I needed it. I couldn't afford to end up on the streets again when my voice and body deteriorated. I know everyone looks at me for my body, and knowing that I only noticed their fortune, I cared little. But the comments, the looks, the hands... After years and years I didn't know what to do. Yes, I purposely showed my attributes to attract men. Or that was how they saw it. Most of the time I wasn't even aware that it was so provocative to them. Even when I was living my normal life they commented things about my clothes, my chest, my legs. A woman they talk about like that is not worthy to marry, Bernie." 

While she was talking Bernadetta had placed her hand on Dorothea's, trying to comfort her. Even she was aware of the beauty of the vampire, and she would lie if she said she had never thought about what it would be like to kiss her. However, hearing her talk like that, that they saw her body like a piece of meat, so broken, while the warm tears fell on the back of her hand only made her feel bad. She wanted to believe that she wasn't the same as those men, at least she didn't externalized it, but the basis was the same. 

“A woman worthy of marriage should be discreet, intelligent, cautious, with a shy smile covered by her hand… not… me, you know?" She said, finally looking into her eyes. “As much as I feared it, I had dreamed and wanted to grow old with someone who loved me. Old age was only terrifying because of the monetary implications that it brought, but to be able to get rid of a horde of man calling me a whore and a bitch, to stop being sexualized every time I went out in the streets... That seemed magnificent to me. Manuela was a sad prediction of my future and a dream come true.”

Bernadetta wasn't able to speak a single word, nor to look away from Dorothea's face. Even in her pain, in her tears and in her melancholic smile, it was one of the most beautiful sights she had ever seen. Not because of her facial features, or the crimson lipstick or the makeup, already messed up, that made the attempt to make her face more beautiful. But for the person behind, so wonderful, and so afraid to disappoint. 

“If I could, I would kiss you.” She whispered, and only noticed what she had said aloud when the other woman's face turned red, her eyes wide open in amazement. 

“I… Did I hear well?”

Dorothea didn't seem upset, but that didn't mean that this wasn't the worst situation in which Bernadetta had encountered herself. Someone as pathetic as her, saying out loud that someone attracted her? Was she allowed to be attracted to a woman without being the most ridiculous thing in the universe? Surely Dorothea would be offended, a black spot like her on the list of people who found her attractive. Even after hearing how horrible all men had been with her, Bernadetta felt the worst person among all. Her damp eyes and rapid breathing begged her to run away, to seclude herself for days in her room and only leave when Dorothea had forgotten her, or died inside waiting. 

She couldn't believe what she had said out loud, she just couldn't. She was waiting for the laughter of the vampire, how hilarious it would seem to the rest of the people in the house. 

“Bernie? Bernie is attracted to you?” She heard resonating in her ears, voices coming from all and nowhere at the same time. 

She remembered similar moments, in preschool, in elementary school. She, considered a misfortune or a curse if she thought someone was good looking. The ugly girl, always the ugly girl. And on top of that she had dared to suddenly like a woman. The most beautiful woman she had ever seen, to be honest, but a woman. In case it wasn't pathetic enough. 

"I don't even like women!" Was the only thing she shouted rushing out the door. One, two, three steps to her room running, bumping into someone along the way, it didn't matter. 

Close the door, cover yourself with the sheets, press that pillow tightly over your head. Her head was a swirl of thoughts and emotions and she couldn't deal with any of them. Tears and boogers soaked the bed, plunging her deeper into her misery, wishing that everything would stop around her. 

She quickly searched for something to be distracted, searched for her cell phone. With trembling hands, unable to hold anything, she realized that she had left it in the other girl's room. Stupid, stupid Bernie. 

She was trembling so much that it seemed she was freezing, and with nothing to occupy her mind she put her nails to her mouth. An habit she had abandoned in recent days, but that was of little use when, despite the constant movement of her hands, she bit away the little they had grown. 

She bit so much that it wasn't until her breathing calmed down a little more and her sobs became mute that she noticed the blood coming out of her fingers. Thanks to the prick of pain that caused her right after, she left her nails alone, but the damage was already done. Again, her ugly and deformed fingers bore poorly maintained, worn, improper nails of a lady like her. Full of wounds, they grabbed her clothes, looking for something to entertain herself with again. 

She didn't know how much time had passed until she heard a knock on the door. "Can I come in?" Said Dorothea's voice, and although Bernadetta didn't know whether to say yes or no, with her infunctional throat and her shivering jaw she kept quiet.

Dorothea didn't leave, because worriedly she spoke through the door.

“Bernie… if you want to kiss me, you can do it whenever you want.” she started, although she sounded awkward. “You are not… like those rich men. Don't be ashamed of yourself."

The singer's voice and words calmed her slightly, but the swirl of emotions was still there. There was much to think about, about her newly learned attraction, about herself. 

"Can I come in?" She asked again, and Bernadetta was armed with courage to answer her this time.

"No..." she began, but tried to keep talking. "I don't want you to see me like this. Thank you, anyway.”

She hoped Dorothea had been able to understand her gratitude and stop worrying about her. She appreciated her genuine concern and her patience, something that hadn't been given to her in the past, but this issue needed to be considered alone. No matter how many panic attacks and the anxiety it gave her.

It seemed to work, because with a “If you need me I will be down in the living room.” the singer left, despite not sounding satisfied. She wanted to tell her that she had calmed her down, that she didn't need to do more, but Bernadetta didn't know if she had enough strength to get up without starting to sob again. 

Petra, as soon as she saw Dorothea coming down the stairs, she knew something was wrong. She, who was going to the kitchen, stopped dead and looked worriedly at the other woman. If she hadn't been completely in front of her, Petra wouldn't have noticed the slight blush that formed on Dorothea's cheeks. 

"What's wrong?" She dared to ask. 

"It's… Bernadetta."

Noticing the tense atmosphere, and worried for the use of the full name of the girl, Petra suggested speaking in private. At Dorothea's request they both went to the firsts room, but not before standing in front of Bernadetta's, wanting to call but knowing that she would get nothing out of it. Petra squeezed the box containing the ring in her pocket tightly. If she were only able to tell her her feelings, her next plan was to give it to the singer. 

But Dorothea didn't seem to be in the best emotional state lately. 

Already inside, with both sitting on the bed, Dorothea began to speak. Petra wanted to lay her hand on hers, but resigned herself to not doing so in case it was too bold. 

"What do I do?" She asked at the end, taking Petra's hand. "It doesn't bother me what she told me, but it worries me how she has taken it herself."

Petra nodded, leaving aside the box that was waiting to be opened. She thought for a few seconds what to do with such a complicated situation, considering that she barely knew the human. 

"We can ... hang out with her, in the city, to calm her down and she'll see that you don't hate her." Dorothea nodded, stating that it was a good idea.

"Yes, we haven't had time to go to buy her clothes, she's still wearing things we have lent her."

More calm, they both left the room to find a somewhat gloomy and restless Edelgard. 

"Are you alright?" It was Dorothea who asked. 

"Yes, it's just..." She said, showing them a letter. “This has come, from Lysithea. Apparently there is a problem with an ancestral vampire, she has asked us to join the hunt.”

“Oh."

“And are we going to do it?”

“Yes, but I don't think we should all go. With me, Hubert, Ferdinand and Byleth should be enough. I don't want to leave Bernadetta alone." Petra didn't miss the insinuating look Edelgard gave her and Dorothea.

Dorothea nodded. "I was thinking the same thing. Right now we were going to ask her if she wants to go to buy clothes with us."

“Thank you." Edelgard sighed, looking more relieved. "I had also thought about it, but as she always locks herself in her room or is with Caspar or with you, I didn't want to bother her."

When Edelgard went her own way, Dorothea noticed how suddenly her partner was silent.

“Is something wrong?”

“No.” Petra replied, without looking at her. “I would like to go to the hunt, that's all.”

“Oh.” It was Dorothea who said the monosyllable this time, feeling her heart break a little. 

"But I'd rather stay with you."

Dorothea didn't know how to classify the smile the queen was giving her. Warm, reassuring, safe. Like inviting her to something, although she couldn't be sure if that the latter was more her fault, without being able to look away from her lips.

She was grateful that Edelgard left, so she could forget her and focus on her friendship with Petra.

When they entered Bernadetta's room, without forcing her entry, the girl was much calmer. Dorothea could see traces of tears still on her face, and despite how much she wanted to lock her in a hug, she stood still for fear of bothering the human. 

It wasn't difficult to convince her, and in a short time they were all at the mall. Both she and Petra covered from top to bottom with a sunscreen with the greatest possible protection, and with clothes and sunglasses that covered most of their skin. None of that prevented people from looking at them, moreover, Bernadetta was totally sure that the strange and bizarre combination of clothes from different periods of history did little more than direct even more looks at them. 

"We can become invisible, if you want." Dorothea suggested, noticing the growing anxiety of the human. 

“No… That would only make it worse. A girl with witch hair talking to the air... they would throw me out and forbid me for ever coming again.”

“Maybe you can help us find modern clothes." Petra said, and Bernadetta gave thanks to the fact that a person in the group was able to think.

Going into stores, it took a short time for Bernadetta to realize that the most complicated part wasn’t going to find clothes for her, (focusing on wide clothes and sweatshirts), but to look for clothes for the other two women.

Listening to two vampires who were born in a time very different from hers constantly complaining about how simple or strange modern clothes were was no better than going with her mother to buy and finding every garment she wanted to wear horrible. 

"Let  **me** find clothes for you, please." She whispered. “You can sit and wait outside. Just tell me more or less the style you want and I will find the clothes for you.”

“An outfit chosen by Bernie!” Dorothea said. "I’m so excited... something feminine for me, please."

"Comfortable clothes, but not all men's." 

"Yes, let her show the abs she works so hard to maintain!" Dorothea joked, but Bernadetta could see how red was Petra.

" _ Oh. _ ” She thought, realizing the situation she was in.

She would have to find clothes for Petra that Dorothea liked. 

It was not in her plans to look for clothes to appeal to Dorothea, much less when those clothes were not going to be for her. It felt weird to help Petra when just a few hours ago she had confessed wanting to kiss the singer. She preferred not to think much about it and looked at her phone while making her way to the store, but little did this to help her forget Dorothea, since when she unlocked the device the first thing she saw was a message from the woman herself.

_ Dorotheatheprettiest:  _ I'm sorry for saying it now but caspar and lin said they want new clothes too hahahaha 😝😝😝😝

Bernadetta sighed. It was going to be a difficult task, but with the credit card and the instructions of what each one of them wanted it couldn’t be that hard. And it wasn’t, it only took a ridiculous amount of time. When she returned, the sky already dark, she only found Petra with the hood down on the bench where she had left them. 

“And Dorothea?”

“She saw a man hit his girlfriend, so she followed them to teach him a lesson. I wanted to kill him, but she didn’t let me.” She replied, still looking at her phone. 

If Bernadetta had a minimum of energy in her body after searching for all the clothes for the vampires, she was totally sure that she would have had a panic attack. But after the deer, Ferdinand and Caspar telling her stories of the war, Byleth turning into animals just to walk around the house, and other strange behaviors, nothing surprised her anymore.

Resigned to wait for the vampire, she sat next to Petra. She looked over her shoulder at what she was watching on her phone, noticing at that moment the wireless headphones she wore. On the screen, a famous youtuber from the neighboring country. 

" _ She watches videos of people from Brigid ... _ " She thought, realizing how obvious it was but at the same time it made her a little sad. The vampire wouldn’t have had many possibilities to return and connect with her native country since she lived with the Black Eagles, and the internet was surely her salvation in that regard.

She could also watch Brigid's television, but Bernadetta realized that there was no television in the mansion, or at least she hadn’t seen one. She tapped the woman’s shoulder, wanting tto ask.

"Oh," Petra said, not looking surprised. “About ten years ago Dimitri came to visit and had a fight with Edelgard. They broke the television we had and when we got a new one, but we didn't know how to connect it, so it stayed in the box.”

“Who is Dimitri?”

“Ah, I forgot that you don't know who the werelions are…” Bernadetta was more confused, but Petra explained. "In our time, a pack of lions were “born”, The Blue Lions. At the same time, the Golden Deers got together, a mixed group of magical beings."

"Weren't those the factions of the war?"

"Do they teach you those names in class? It surprises me... But yes, they are. Dimitri is Edelgard's step brother, and leader of the pack of lions.”

That's when Bernadetta realized. "Dimitri, the last king before the unification!?" She exclaimed, and when Petra laughed slightly she blushed. 

“ _ What's wrong with me lately?” _

“That's right. He and Edelgard do get along, but sometimes they have fights and they are both… very physical when it comes to fighting.”

It made sense, after all, they were people from a period of wars, and much more violence in general, in comparison to current times. 

“Apart from you, and those groups that you have commented on, are there other magical creatures? Older than you?”

“Older than us there are few. When we destroyed the church many of them fell defending it, and the same with the kingdom of demons. It was a very different time for vampires and others creatures, them having human slaves, harems and... things that I would prefer not to talk about. But we've made sure those type of monsters don't exit anymore.”

Bernadetta's curiosity had not been satisfied, but Petra's hurt gaze begged her to stop. She wanted to ask who these demons were and what vampire societies were before theirs, how they managed to kill them all, but she didn't want to make the vampire angry or sad. As strange as it was, however inhuman and monstrous she looked to her, just like her companions at first, it was a person who directed those eyes at her. An ancestral person, but surely young by vampiric standards. 

When Dorothea arrived with a trail of blood falling from her mouth, Bernadetta was really scared. It was one thing to think about the concept of killing, and another thing was to see someone you trusted as a murderer. Dorothea assured her that it had only been a small scare, she even pointed to the boy himself, tremendously pale and with a black eye, walking down the street (Petra confirmed it was him). 

She also said, laughing somewhat sadly and dullly, that if a single death committed by her was enough for that expression of horror to plague her face, she should never ask any of the vampires about the war. This left Bernadetta with a bittersweet sensation on her body, calm to know that no one had died today, but confused on how to feel about the vampire, and about her new roommates. 

She knew, she knew they had killed and murdered people. But she hadn't realized all the implications this had, how real it was. She had treated it as trivial when she was treated so well, so different from humans how her own kind treated her, that she had preferred to ignore it. 

On the way back, with Dorothea a little ahead of them while commenting on the clothes in the bags, Petra approached her to give her an awkward kind of hug. “Don't think too much about it. We try to be the most ethical when we kill, corrupts, people who have done wrong... For you it will be just as horrible, but we have to survive with our curse. ”

_ Damn.  _ Bernadetta knew it was a curse, but until that moment she hadn’t heard anyone say it out loud, perhaps afraid to remember that they had stopped being human long ago. 

“War is difficult, life and death become strange concepts. Someone of your time wouldn't understand it like us.”

Bernadetta nodded, knowing she was right. Her heart was still beating fast and her hands were shaking, but it would soon go away.

"By the way, Bernie." Dorothea's voice interrupted her. “Is there money left on the credit card?”

“No, not much. I'm sorry.” She said, as if it was entirely her fault. 

"Don't worry, we just have to go to the bank."

And that's how Bernadetta learned that hypnosis was something real that vampires, with practice, could do.

“Quick Bernie, tell me the name of a billionaire.”

“Uh… Jeff Bezos?”

“Perfect!” She said, proceeding to ask the employee to transfer to the card an exorbitant amount of money. 

"Is that how you get money?"

Petra nodded, proud of Dorothea's abilities. "We try to choose a different rich person every time, and we all have a common bank account."

Bernadetta said nothing more. Every time she thought she would get used to the strangeness of these beings, she learned something new that made the gap between human and vampire bigger. If she had the powers of vampires she would also make life easier with the powers, but seeing an imposing monster use them in such mundane ways never ceased to fascinate her and seem, in a way, funny. 

When Dorothea returned, and along the way, it was they who stayed behind, while Petra led the way. Bernadetta regained her anxiety from hours before, the palm of her hands getting really sweaty and tears forming in her eyes. 

The singer, knowing this, took her hand. When Bernadetta raised her head in surprise Dorothea was looking at the landscape as if it were the most interesting thing of all that surrounded them. 

“I will be honest to you.” She started, after a quiet pause. “If you really have feelings for me, rethink them. We have known each other for a short time, you don't really know me. If all you want is a kiss, I can give it to you. But there are other people for whom my heart beats.”

Bernadetta, who hadn’t missed the faint look she had given Petra, supposed that this should have broken her heart, but none of that happened to her. The information was not new, she already knew all this. In a sudden rush of bravery, she spoke too.

“Sorry for saying that before, I don't know where it came from. Until recently I didn't even wonder if I could like women,” She said blushing. She wanted to explain herself more, but she knew that if she kept talking she would only mess up.

Dorothea's smile, so full of comprehension and understanding, of warmth and love, made her heart calm slightly. The woman raised her joint hands to her lips, and with a soft kiss on the palm of Bernadetta's hand, she whispered. 

"Friends?" 

Bernie nodded. "Friends."

"I can help you with the liking women issue if you want."

"No- There’s no need..." She wanted to leave it there, but she couldn't say no to Dorothea. "But I would appreciate it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for taking so long but im in my last year of high school


	6. Dearest, your heart is wounded (1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petra's past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry, school is killing me. I divided this chapter in 2 parts so i have more time to write and not ending up uploading once every month.

With the letter still in hand, Edelgard searched for Byleth. Little did it take to find her, she was talking to Ferdinand in the living room in a happy and lively tone. That made things easier. She didn't bother to interrupt the conversation, instead she simply left the letter in the middle of the table and they both looked at it.

"It's been a while since we received any letters..." the man said, examining it.

"It arrived just a few hours ago, by pigeon."

"Whose is it?" Byleth spoke this time, taking Edelgard's hand in her own. She didn’t like the serious tone of her lover.

“Lysithea.”

“And what does it say?” 

“I think it's better you read it.”

Ferdinand read it first, getting serious on the parts where it explained the problem. Byleth, on the other hand, kept the same expressionless face throughout the letter. When both had read it they returned it to Edelgard. 

"I have decided that you two," she said pointing to Byleth and Ferdinand "and Hubert and I will go. With the four of us we would have plenty of strength to kill the ancestral vampire, but it’s better to be cautious." 

Ferdinand didn’t miss the worried look Edelgard gave him when she mentioned the other man. Kind of overwhelmed, worried that Dorothea had revealed his secret, or even worse, if it was too obvious, he decided to demand and explanation.

"Why do you look at me like that? Do you think I'm not strong enough?"

"Nothing less." Edelgard replied quickly. "But lately I have... noticed how you evade Hubert. If there’s any problem between you, however small, I beg you to solve it, or I'll have to change the team.”

Alarmed by her words, he rose from his seat. "It's not necessary. I'm perfectly capable of working in a team." 

Edelgard looked at Byleth, pleading for help, a look that Ferdinand interpreted as a disregard for his abilities. Ready to protest again, Byleth spoke.

"You know that if there’s problems among our soldiers the coordination gets worse. Maybe you can tell us what is going on and we will reach a faster solution.”

If Ferdinand had to choose a word to describe his situation, he would choose cornered. Cornered by the possibility of having to confess his secret, which he still had to accept himself, cornered because he didn’t want to feel useless.

"You can tell me." Byleth continued. “From student to teacher, if you feel like it.”

This convinced Ferdinand, albeit slightly. 

"Okay." He said surrendering. "You are right.” Edelgard smiled slightly. “I tell you this because you are trustworthy people, and I know you will look with good eyes what I’m about to say. It's very difficult for me, though… ”

Byleth felt a little bad for the man, asking Edelgard with her eyes whether this had been a good idea. Edelgard responded with a little panicked look, an “I don't know”. She hadn't expected the man to speak. 

Ferdinand, who hadn't continued, looked at the ceiling as if it were the first time he saw it. If he were still human, he was sure that his hands would be full of sweat, but they remained dry and cold. Not so much when Byleth took it, in a gesture to assure him that everything was fine. 

“I think… No, I don't **think**. I'm ... romantically attracted to Hubert."

This, of course, was no surprise to the two women. But for the sake of Ferdinand, who looked like he had just confessed the greatest of crimes, pale face and elusive gaze, they pretended. 

"Now everything makes sense..." Byleth whispered. 

“I… I don't know how to deal with this, to be honest. Until recently I hadn't even believed in the possibility of… well, being like this.“ Embarrassed, he fiddled with a lock of his hair. 

"I don't think Hubert would oppose to the idea." 

"Excuse me?"

"I don't think Hubert would oppose to the idea." Edelgard repeated. “He… is also gay. You know that, right?”

It was clear on his face. No, he didn’t know. A small smile started to take possession of his face, but his consciousness was more powerful. 

“Even so, I don't want to make things uncomfortable. Maybe they wouldn't be for him, but for me… for me, they would.”

“Ferdinand.” Byleth interrupted. "Hubert may kill me for telling you this, but the last time I was interested in his love life..." She sighed. "I mean... I don't think you would be disappointed."

Blushing, little smiles, shame again, but not a shame of dishonor, but a shame of disbelief. Ferdinand stammered several times without believing what he heard. It couldn't be true, but the two women were looking at him in a way that... He had to be sure. He trusted Byleth, but she wasn't by far the one Hubert trusted most. 

"Is it true?" He asked directly to Edelgard. In his eyes was a determination she hadn't seen in a long time. 

"It is. Although he will never tell you directly if you don't ask him.” She felt a little bad about entangling two of her best friends in this way, but she repeated herself again, as she had repeated with Dorothea so many times when they did these things, that it was for the common good, and for the good of those involved. 

"Then... I will confess my feelings." He said thoughtfully. Seeing the faces of joy and enthusiasm he shrunk a little, taking a few steps back. “But I need time to process all this.”

“Take all the time you need.”

With a few words of thanks and a few tears in his eyes, he retired to his room leaving the two vampires alone. Byleth took this opportunity to approach her girlfriend, hug her, follow the contour of her waist with her hands. Edelgard caressed her, thoughtful as well as slightly flushed.

“Those cheeks are very pale. I’ll have to give you blood tonight. ” 

“ _!!!!!!! _ ” Was the only thing Edelgard could think.

"Or it seems not, with the color they have now." 

"We... we'll talk later." She tried to maintain her composure. "I would like to talk to Hubert about... you know, the hunt." 

"Hm." Byleth replied, and took a step back. "Ok, but I'll be waiting for you."

Maybe she shouldn't have rejected the offer so quickly.

Hubert quickly accepted the information, asking when they would leave, looking ready to make the luggage. Edelgard asked him to calm down, they wouldn’t leave immediately. 

When, two days later they were all at the entrance saying goodbye, Edelgard knew that Hubert had ignored her. There was nothing that told it in the ways or actions of the man, she just knew after living with him for so long. Before leaving through the door Edelgard gave a hug to all those who would stay in the mansion, receiving a big kiss on the cheek by Dorothea and strong pat on her back by Caspar.

"Good luck." She whispered to Petra, and she didn't answer anything but the faint color on her cheeks implied that she had heard her. 

"Edie!" Dorothea spoke, and added the rest of the people to her sentence as an afterthought. "Be careful."

"We’re not going alone, and we will send you numerous messages. Count on us." Byleth said. 

Just before leaving Edelgard turned around. She looked at Petra and Dorothea, those friends from so long ago. 

Edelgard remembered when Petra became a vampire. It was a night like any other, when they were already living in the mansion of Enbarr. After writing a little in her diary she had prepared to go to sleep following her old human schedules. Vampires didn’t need as much rest as in the past, but day after day the fatigue accumulated. She was interrupted by a knock on her balcony door, nervous and hurried. 

She knew that at that time she had wanted it to be Byleth. 

But nothing could have prepare her for what she found when she opened the door. Petra, it was Petra. The queen of the now independent Brigid, with whom she had promised letters but didn't expect to see in a long, long time. 

The woman was covered in sweat, breathing forcefully and expensively, loudly, while exhaling. Her eyes, flooded with tears, looked at her as if they were looking for salvation in her, looking everywhere and at the same time to nowhere. Her reddish face like that of a child who can't stop crying.

She had never seen the woman so... broken. Edelgard, who had thought of the queen of Brigid as someone strong and resilient, saw how the image she had previously of her was shattered in front this tormented and sore Petra. Even when they had kidnapped her and taken her to the empire so many years ago she had never seen her so scared, so terrified. Nor in the war, when they had hurt her and she had seen numerous soldiers and comrades die on several occasions.

"Petra?" She said, almost in a whisper, fearing that any loud noise would make the woman disappear, trembling aggressively in front of her. 

She didn't answer, or rather she couldn't. With big tears running down her face she opened her mouth as she tried to drown her sobs, and with her shivering hands she pointed to something inside.

There, between her palettes and her molars, two large and sharp fangs adorned the intense red of her mouth. 

" _ Blood, _ " Edelgard thought. “ _ She has drunk blood. _ ”

Her heart sank in her chest, feeling tremendous regret. All the words escaped from her mouth and she was left speechless, gaping at the woman she had tried so hard to protect in the previous war. 

So many companions she had tried to protect from the curse, so many companions fallen into it. She had had the consolation that the queen, the princess of the neighboring country had emerged unscathed in that regard. 

It wasn’t the situation. 

In an outburst of bravery Edelgard took her wrist and introduced her to her room. Letting her sit on her bed, she pulled out various blankets and furs to shelter the other woman from the cold. Trying to comfort her and warm her, rubbing her hands on her shoulders, she was able to speak. 

"How?" She asked, still whispering. She didn't want to believe this was real.

"A hunt." Petra spoke at last, and Edelgard heard the strong accent of her homeland perfectly. This made her heart ache even more, for she knew perfectly well how much her friend had missed Brigid. And now here she was, turned into a monster, knowing that the life she loved so much, that she had so longed for for years in Fódlan had escaped her hands, like someone who catches a fish still wet and still alive and it fleds to the water.

"A hunt?" She replied, finally trying to get more information. 

“There was… an ancestral vampire, who had risen from the grave.” Without responding to the look that disapproved of her actions, she continued speaking. "I thought it would be enough with me and the warrior elite." 

"It wasn't." Edelgard whispered, not realizing. She only noticed that she had said it out loud when regret and pain showed on Petra's face as she looked away. 

"I can't go back." Petra said. “I killed… I killed the vampire. But everyone, absolutely everyone saw what I have become.”

Petra didn’t describe it, but Edelgard could imagine the pale and disfigured faces full of horror of the people who must have been there in the moment. And at the same time she could see her friend, covered in blood that was dripping from her mouth that until a few moments ago accepted numerous and varied foods, but that had decayed to that of a monster that only consumed blood. 

"They tried to kill me." She said, in a voice so low that they both knew that humans wouldn’t hear. At the same time that it was low it was sharp, like a last shriek of an animal in the slaughterhouse that begged for help. "My own people tried to kill me." 

If Edelgard had thought that before her friend was completely broken, she had underestimated the state she was in. She trembled, trembled, and kept trembling. 

Edelgard wished that the vampire had killed her, cruel as it sounded, so that one of her closest friends didn’t have to suffer the rejection of those with whom she so longed to be. 

A tragedy, the greatest of tragedies. Even worse than her own, who hadn’t yet had time to dream in her childhood and had taken her brothers and her teenage peace for granted, without realizing that they were privileges that would be taken from her. However, Petra hadn’t had the opportunity, hadn’t lived what she deserved, had lacked happiness and understanding in this continent so far from her place of birth. 

And when she believed that she would embrace the sunlight that had illuminated and filled with hope each of her nights soaked in tears, she was forced to shy away from it in fear of death. 

Edelgard had no words to relieve her. Like Lysithea so long ago, she looked at her with compression and grief, trying and praying that the slight physical contact would be enough to convey what she wanted to say.

"I understand you, I'm here. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. But I can't do anything." 

She wanted to say it but she knew it was useless. 

"Edelgard." 

"Yes?"

Still with her trembling hands, she rummaged through her jacket and pulled out a stake. "Kill me."

She could hear her dead heart stop and her throat dry. "No."

"Edelgard please." She insisted.

She was ready to deny her once more when the noise of a few hurried steps on the hallway wood made them both shut up. Then, they heard the sound of knuckles against the door and a melodious voice from the other side.

"Edie? Are you all right? I heard some noise from your room." 

If Dorothea had waited for her to answer before opening the door and entering, she would have said no, nothing important had happened. That she should go back to sleep to take care of that skin that looked like ivory and to keep the color on her cheeks and lips that made Edelgard look away. But perhaps if she had been able to hear Petra's entrance she hadn't been asleep from the start.

As soon as the singer saw the queen’s tears and sobs, with broken clothes and scratches all over her body she understood very, very well that she shouldn’t be there. "Sorry," She whispered. 

"Don’t worry." 

Edelgard looked at Petra, who seemed to have entered a trance looking at Dorothea. For the first time since so many years ago she felt again a small outburst of jealousy, this time easily identifiable thanks to the knowledge that she was more than a little attracted to the woman.

"Are you ... Dorothea, the opera singer?" It was the first thing Petra said. 

"In flesh and blood. Have you seen me acting? If so, I hope it was up to your expectations." 

"Yes, it was fantastic. I used to go with Edelgard and Ferdinand." 

Dorothea looked at her incredulously, and then with some offense to Edelgard. Perhaps she had hidden how much she visited the opera in her young days and asked Ferdinand not to mention it either.

It was a matter of pride, every time she thought about how in love she had been with the diva in her teenage years her entire face got red. And now living together, it was hard enough for her to maintain her composure to now have to survive Dorothea asking her opinion on her interpretations and singing.

Despite the somewhat lighter topic of conversation the feeling of discomfort and anguish in the room hadn't disappeared. Dorothea noticed this, and squatted in front of the foreign woman whose name she didn't even know. 

"You are a novice vampire, right?" 

Petra nodded. It was easily visible how much it hurt her. Dorothea took the stake from her hands and pushed it away. 

"Edelgard doesn't know this." She said taking her hand in hers, directing a quick glance at the woman. "But I also want death. However, I don't think I'm capable of entrusting a job of such magnitude to those I know. I don't want to leave Edie alone either." She smiled, but her eyes were getting wet. "I'm not a judge, but if Edie looks at you like that, I don't think you deserve to die. It doesn't matter what you are. If this isn't a good enough reason... how about living to know me?" 

Petra was too tired to argue. The three knew that this was only a momentary relief, but it was enough. Jealousy had dissolved in Edelgard's heart and now only a deep admiration remained. 

"Can I... can I rest here?" Petra asked. 

"Of course. I'll make you a bed-"

"The truth is that I'd rather sleep alongside someone." Such a phrase would be something that would make both of them blush in any other situation. 

"I… I would also like to sleep alongside someone today." Dorothea admitted quietly. 

With a sigh and a quick look at her bed Edelgard nodded. "Okay, but try not to kick me."

During the night Edelgard thanked Petra's presence in the middle immensely, because she was sure she wouldn't sleep if she had to sleep alone together with Dorothea.

"El!" Byleth took her out of her trance. "We have to go." 

"I'm going!" She responded back, giving the women a final look. On the way they talked little, just keeping close to each other. Edelgard took the opportunity to take Byleth's hand while they heard Hubert and Ferdinand in the background talk about the trees.

Returning to her previous line of thought she thought again about Petra and her first days in the mansion. The queen had not dared to ask her where Byleth was, having left before the teacher. Edelgard hadn’t mentioned it either and was making all her efforts to accommodate both her and Dorothea.

Ferdinand had trained with her night after night, helping her get distracted through physical exercise, workouts in which Edelgard too often participated herself. Dorothea watched from a distance, arms crossed and thoughtful, as in a world far away despite being among them. 

Despite the concern that filled her entire body, both assured her that they were well, time after time, and all she had left to do was small gestures to at least not leave them completely alone with their feelings. She knew how bad this could be firsthand, she refused to let other people go through the same thing. 

A few days after Petra’s arrival her grandfather showed up at the door of the mansion. Everyone was caught off guard, especially poor Dorothea who opened the door, but Petra seemed calm.

“ _ I don't ask you to come back. The rumors have spread and now people blame the Empire for… your change, but I beg you to at least visit me _ . ” 

“ _I will._ _ I’m very sorry for the commotion I’ve caused, I should’ve been more careful and not run away. I'm a coward _ . ” Petra came over to hug him, and the man hugged her with all his might. 

“ _It's_ _not your fault, little one._ "

" _Can I ask you something?_ _What do you intend to do with the archipelago?”_ She said after backing up a little, to look him in the eye. 

“ _ The idea of a democracy is not too bad. There may be a section of the population that rejects it because they’re ideas that come from the continent but... At my advanced age I can do nothing better. "  _

Petra nodded." _ Good luck." _

When the man left Petra went to the room where they were all gathered. She hadn’t noticed, but tears ran down her face. It took them a short time to get closer to comfort her and even less time for Petra to regain her composure. 

"I don't think I can fulfill the promise of visiting him." She explained.

"Why?"

"As I am? I am a monster, Ferdinand." 

"Petra," Dorothea said, holding her hand, thinking about how she had promised herself not to visit Manuela. "Go. Don’t steal from him the granddaughter that he missed so much. "


	7. Dearest, your heart is wounded (2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> second part. They fight the ancestral vampire and they talk about children and growing up.

The first thing they saw when they reached the meeting point was Dimitri's tall lion form. Beside him, Felix, Sylvain and Dedue. Claude was accompanied by Lysithea and Lorenz, who immediately after seeing Ferdinand headed towards him. Both quickly started talking, while Lysithea and Claude approached Edelgard. 

“I'm glad to see that the letter arrived on time.”

“Your pigeons are very well trained. But, may I ask why you didn't send a phone message?” Edelgard asked. 

"They accidentally cut the power cable to our area." Claude replied. “We had to ally with the neighbors of the village and go several times to complain to the nearest town hall.” 

“What a disgrace. When did this happen? ” Hubert spoke.

“A month or two ago. Imagine how angry Leonie got, she was watching a soccer match.”

“A shame.”

The conversation went on, both sides catching up on their life in recent years. Lysithea and Edelgard talked to each other often, as did Byleth and Claude and Ferdinand and Lorenz, but there was a lot that was overlooked in letters and messages. 

Soon they realized that a part of the people who were not there hadn’t joined the chat, and Byleth looked at the old Blue Lions. All had returned to their human form, all five. 

" _ Five!?"  _

In the middle, between Dimitri and Felix, a child. He didn't look older than fifteen, maybe he was thirteen or fourteen. Byleth looked surprised at the rest, but the Golden Deers didn't seem surprised at anything. However, Edelgard, Hubert and Ferdinand looked at the same boy with their mouths open. 

"Hello," Dimitri said. “We haven't talked for a long time, right? I don't think you know Glenn. ”

The nervous boy approached Edelgard and offered his hand. Shaking it, Edelgard asked. 

"Are you the son of Felix and Dimitri?" The boy nodded. "Nice to meet you, then."

Byleth got near visibly excited and offered her hand as well. "I'm Byleth, I hope they told you a lot about me."

"Yeah!" He replied, extending his smile a little. "Could I train with you?" 

Until then no one had noticed the sword at his waist. Byleth nodded, promising that when they reached the next town they could train all he wanted. Edelgard gave the other adults a confused look. 

Already at the hotel in the town closest to the vampire's abode, Edelgard left Byleth in the room they would share and went down to drink with Dimitri and Claude. 

"When." It was the first thing she asked. 

"A while ago, about fourteen years."

"Can I ask one thing?" This time Claude spoke. “You had already told me about him, but I don't know how you conceived him. I know that Felix technically can, but I don't see him with a baby in the oven, being honest."

“I don't see myself with one either." The man said taking a chair to get close to the table. “We talked to a fairy queen who lives near our area. It is biologically ours, but it was developed with the method of fairies."

“If any or any of you want…" Dimitri began. "Well, you can ask us for the name."

Edelgard blushed slightly, thinking about the idea of having a kid with Byleth. She didn't oppose the idea, but it was weird. "Thank you." She whispered.

Byleth on the other hand seemed totally delighted with the idea as soon as she had seen Glenn, but outside her expression of happiness she had said nothing. 

"The truth," Claude interrupted again. “I expected Lorenz and I to take the step before you. It's not that we don't want to, but we always put it off. We had promised Hilda and Marianne that oue kis would be the little brother or sister of theirs, but the girl is already growing… ”

“Wait.” Edelgard interrupted. “How many children have you had of which you haven't spoken to us?” 

“Well…” Dimitri began. "To my knowledge, Glenn, the girl of Marianne and Hilda, Sylvain has a son himself, he's the best friend of Glenn, and Mercedes and Annette..."

"Why haven't you told us?"

"It wasn't on porpoise, we just forgot.”

“I think… I think I'm going to try going to sleep." With that, Edelgard returned with Byleth. Along the way she found Sylvain talking to little Glenn, but decided not to interrupt.

The next morning they left early, vampires covered with ample clothing to prevent the sun from reaching their skins. Dimitri and Felix had said goodbye to their son, ordering him not to cause much trouble. After several hugs from Dimitri and words of encouragement from Felix, they left. Byleth joked a little with him, before Edelgard reminded her that they were in a hurry. 

Lysithea was the first to talk to her along the way, about the common friends they had. However, Edelgard was somewhat distracted. 

“Is something wrong with you?”

“No, it's nothing. But since I've seen Glenn... "

"What's wrong with him? "She asked, surprised. 

"It's strange. With our eternal youth, our face always the same... I never thought that having a family was possible. Even when I was human, I saw it as something outside my possibilities. It was something other people had, no... people close to me. "

"Hm. I understand you. We are so old but it doesn't seem that we have reached that adulthood that they teached us."

“Exactly.” She replied, looking at her gloves. "We are adults. As our faces haven't changed, I have always lived with the mentality that all this would happen when I grew up... but I won't grow. As for personality, looking back, it doesn't seem to have surpassed that of a young adult either."

“It's hard.” Lysithea said. "At least you look about eighteen. I have the body of a fifteen years old."

"Surely there is something that fairies can do." She replied looking at Claude, who was trying to annoy Hubert.

"I'd rather not talk about it."

"Okay." Edelgard rested her hand on the ones of the other vampire who had looked away. She looked at her in surprise for a few seconds, but after a few moments she smiled and squeezed her hand as an indication that everything would be fine. She informed her that she was going to talk to Lorenz and left her alone once more.

"Hey," Byleth said shortly after, speeding up to walk besides her, letting her rest her head on her shoulder. 

"Hey..." she replied tiredly. 

The woman seemed willing to comment on something, but she avoided staring and went back on some of her nervous habits - scratching her head, her arms. It didn't look very serious because of the smile on her face. 

"Don't you want to?"

"Want what?" 

"To have a child."

She remained silent. It wasn't that she didn't, but rather that she had dismissed the idea since her mind had suggested it. Seeing Dimitri's little boy run around and play with his parents was a vision that caused her envy, partly because of the unknown nature of her vampire self, as if she knew she would never allow herself that happiness.

"I'm not going to lie and say no. But it seems complicated." 

"We can search in volumes of magic." 

"That is not the problem..." She said feeling the lower part of her belly. "I was referring to our physical form. But Dimitri said something about a fairy that can get us a child without it being in us."

"We can always try." Byleth kept insisting. 

"Honey..." Edelgard said, with a chuckle that escaped her lips. "The one who wants a child is you." 

"Hmm well... yes."

"Do you like children?"

A little red caused by shame appwared on her cheeks. "Yes. I have realized that I act like my father with them."

“That's… adorable.”

“It's embarrassing, but thanks.”

Edelgard smiled again, planting a kiss on her cheek. Realizing that they would soon reach the lair of the ancient vampire, she took the Byleth's arm and whispered in her ear. 

"We'll talk later. I want to ask Dima something." 

Byleth nodded and Edelgard moved forward towards the blond man. Inside her, little by little, a ball of anxiety formed. She didn't know why, but she had the feeling that something bad was going to happen. Her hair bristled and her pupils dilated, suddenly being aware of absolutely everything around her. She blamed this on the vampire and continued walking.

"Hey." She said to get the attention of the two men. "I wanted to ask... about Glenn."

"I didn't think he would get your attention. What do you want to know?"

Edelgard ignored the slightly mocking tone. "Do you take him to school? What does he eat and how do you control his activities? Is he registered?" 

Felix was the one who answered, with a pleasant smile. Edelgard didn't remember seeing him that way too many times in the past. "Yes, although only since he knows how to control his powers, especially meat like us, we try to spend the most time with him, and yes."

"Why so many questions? Do you think you want to have one too?" Dimitri's faint smile betrayed that, deep down, it excited him. Edelgard would be a weird mother, but definitely not a bad mother.

She ignored his question and continued her interrogation.

"How is the process?" 

"With the fairy, you mean?" She nodded. "She will ask you for a favor in return, but nothing very difficult to accomplish. You must give her a small sample of blood and meat, in addition to a sperm or an egg from each." 

Edelgard hadn't seen Dimitri speak to her with such confidence and carelessness in her life. Even when they were not fighting and were allies, there was always a small wall of hate between them. 

"As we're both werelions, the baby is a werelion. It's totally as if it were biological, but it has a kind of flower incubator, and you wait nine months."

Taking part of their blood would be useless, it had long since only run through their veins liquid borrowed from other living beings. The child wouldn't be a child with her characteristics, so maybe a piece of their flesh?

She knew that if she kept thinking more she would realize something horrible. She didn't want to admit it, she wanted to put out those bad thoughts that formed deep in her mind.

"How ... how is the child's growth comparing to a human child?" She didn't know if she really wanted to know the answer. Sh suspected slightly that she would be disappointed, nothing could be so easy for her. 

"Well, werelions, like werewolves, are immortal because our cells constantly regenerate without any failure. Until a certain age those of birth grow like humans, but when they reach maturity it's when our relative immortality begins. "

Oh, Edelgard thought. 

So excited, so happy in her cotton cloud she had forgotten the most vital thing for a child. That they need to grow. And to grow they need to be alive. If the fairy took a little of her and Byleth and her species remained, they would never have a child, because their immortality was very different from that of the men in front of her.

She was so used to living again as a monster that she had forgotten that unlike the fairies and the werewolves... they were dead. An eternal cryogenesis in which the only fuel that operated the machine was blood, the only substance that kept them from being little more than a dead person buried two meters below the ground. Like a photo preserved in time they remained exactly the same, as if a second of a human's life could be extended for all eternity. If they could not help Lysithea grow, neither could their imaginary child exist, and it was already more than twice she had ruined Byleth's life that day she decided to transform her.

The two men seemed to realize the problem because although they remained completely silent their faces transmitted everything. 

"I'm... sure there is a solution." Dimitri whispered, not daring to speak louder.

"We're here!" Claude shouted, and without devoting more than a worried look to her face without any distress the two men turned into gigantic beasts that resembled lions. The vampires prepared their claws and human weapons, while Claude invoked his bow.

Claude suddenly approached her as they all entered the cave. "I know it's a bad time." He said looking at her face and considering the situation. "But you remember so long ago when I told you why you were so interested in human affairs when you were no longer one?" 

If Claude had been able to hear the conversation with Dimitri and Felix, Edelgard would be sure that he just wanted to put his finger in the sore. To remind her how she had lost the only thing she loved, life, and how she had remained an abomination that tried to be more than a monster. 

"Yes." She said almost sighing. 

"So many things happened that I could never tell you. But it was not said with bad intentions. Lysithea and I had already known of the existence of this type of vampire, those who believe themselves so superior to humans that," he said, looking away from the newly dead bodies that plagued the corridors of the cave. This vampire wasn't shy when hunting. "They became serial killers or had various slaves in their possession, and other horrors you already know."

Edelgard nodded. Did he wanted to remind her that she shared species with those monsters? 

"But you've never considered yourself superior. Moreover, it could be said to the contrary. I just wanted to check it out, if the transformation had taken you so far away from your own people. I'm sorry." 

Edelgard remained silent. She didn't blame him, too many times she had to quench sudden airs of superiority and monstrosity that threatened to make her an unrecognizable person. If it had been the opposite she would have done the same, with other methods of course. 

"I forgive you." She said, and sped up to be with Byleth.

It was time to eliminate a monster. 

The interior of the cave was wet and dark as well as narrow, playing with their senses and making them believe that in each corner a new danger awaited them. Each of them was on the highest possible alert, Dimitri and his lions were in formation to cover any possible openings. Inside were the rest of them with more humanoid forms, with Byleth the most advanced. 

"This is not his original den." Hubert said. “Vampires don't live in places like these. He must have recently woken up and realized that his last source of blood was dry.”

Lysithea nodded. “But it must be powerful if it's capable of living in these conditions. Hopefully it hasn't regained all it's power."

Everyone nodded silently and continued their slow pace to a rock shelter with a coffin in the middle. If it weren't for the rustic and satanic vibes of the place, one could say that it looked like a chapel, the ceiling of the cave in the shape of a sphere vault. What most elevated Edelgard's panic levels was not the darkness, or the rats, or the occasional leaks whose sound rumbled throughout the cave. Neither were the bats, or as all their clothes stuck to their skin the lower they went. It was the silence and tranquility of the whole place, the peaceful existence in the cave where they knew there was an immeasurable danger. Knowing that something was there, a danger, but they couldn't see or feel it. 

She opened her eyes wide. 

"The bats!" She exclaimed, and everyone quickly looked at the ceiling. With penetrating red eyes and abnormally large fangs for an animal of its kind, there, in the center of all, a huge vampire looked at them with some mockery. Claude was the first to attack with his bow, and they all dispersed. The vampire camouflaged himself between the bat to attack the arms of those who were trying to protect themselves, and they slightly damaged his leg.

Finally without all the nosy animals, the monster was transformed into its human form. Humanoid, Byleth would describe it, as his decayed and almost gnawed appearance reminded little of that of the vampires themselves who were in the room. With even gray skin it looked more like a corpse than anything else. 

The dancing of the swords and the fight against the ancestral creature brought memories of ancient times to Byleth who, thanks to her sword, tried to strike blows on the strangely agile vampire. 

The first thing she remembered was the first battles of the war, she and Claude and Beret following Edelgard, whom she had loved but who she began to suspect and move away from. It hadn't been until recently when they discovered her agreement with the demons. The explanation she gave them didn't seem enough, again without telling her everything that went through her mind. The way Hubert threw them out later and looked at them annoyingly didn't help either. 

It took a few more meetings with the emperor so that, always with a distant and elusive gaze, she told them the real reason and the reason of joining forces with those delectable beings. At that time, not thinking, feeling betrayed by a Beret who had accepted the explanations too easily, she had wanted to leave Edelgard and go with Dimitri, who had suddenly stabbed them in the back in the first battle. 

Claude was at a crossroads too, but he was not willing to change sides after all the plans and machinations. His position was that of a leader that apparently opposed them, interrupting in battles and publicly fighting with Edelgard. But everything was planned.

“I don't like it, but it makes sense. She is not excited either, look at her face. It's a horrible plan, but we can gain a lot from this. ”

And it was true.

Gradually Edelgard had begun to decline further, her mood terribly affected by the war. The days and nights locked in her office did little good for her, and when Byleth visited her and lent her some of her blood she could see in her reddened eyes and bags under them that little by little she was transforming into that monster of which she had been warned months ago by this girl herself.

Physically, specially. 

She still kept the same warmth and care in her hands when she touched her with her bare hands, she still spoke with Petra, Hubert and Ferdinand in the same way as if they were saviors themselves from heaven. Despite the stress and the obvious lack of sleep and blood, she still had words of encouragement at the end of the day to praise Linhardt's research and Caspar's workouts. Like herself, always with a word in her mouth to remind people around her how fantastic they were. 

Although increasingly cutting and direct, everyone noticed the decline. Byleth couldn't leave because she cared too much about her. If Edelgard died or transformed completely to the point of no return, she would never be forgive herself.

The war progressed and all their encounters with the kingdom were the same. Numerous sorry and looks of regret among the old friends, while a crazy Dimitri blindly swinging his spear all over the battlefield. She swore she could still hear Beret shout his name out loud. 

“Dimitri! Let me talk to you!"

It was when they had only fought a few battles and a year of war when he finally agreed. With a big hug and tears among the majority turned into werelions, the factions rejoined. The following years were not easier. 

Numerous times allies fell in battle. For just a few months she remembered as the more traumatic experience of her life how Hilda had pulled Lysithea's sleeve begging her to please save Marianne. The poor woman, lying on the floor bleeding in large quantities while dyeing all the wet and muddy earth of an intense crimson that was slowly getting darker. 

The screams of the fairy, painful and heartbreaking begged the goddess against whom they had proclaimed their crusade that please, oh, please, save my friend. Lysithea trembling fulfilled her wish, exchanging her cursed blood with that of the girl who didn't deserve to have ended up fighting in a war.

"She'll live, calm down." She repeated to Hilda again and again while fear made her fix her gaze on the ground. 

But soon after, Beret happened. The battle was over, no one had been injured. Or that was what she believed, until she reached a clearing and found him bleeding on the floor. Next to him was Jeritza, who as soon as he saw her began to apologize. 

"I can't live without him." He said between sobs, and Byleth hugged him as hard as she could. 

"Thank you." She told him for the first time that day, the first time of so many. 

“Byleth! Watch out!" A push from Edelgard brought her back to the real world, causing her to slightly lose her balance and almost falling. By the sound of metal, she guessed that she had protected her from an attack. 

"I'm sorry." She whispered quickly and focused back on the enemy. She regretted so much having left Edelgard alone after the war and leaving with Claude in a trip. Yes, with him and Beret she had discovered much of her origin and revealed the answers to great mysteries that had plagued her mind for years, but just looking into El's eyes made her remember how much it hurt to see her broken heart while she pretended she was okay.

At that time, it had been months since they hadn't been able to return to the dynamics they had in the youth meetings. Trust had just… vanished. Byleth found it increasingly difficult to connect with the people around her and wasn't able to face the emotional challenge Edelgard was for her.

She had wanted to tell Edelgard that turning her into a vampire to save her life, just like so many others had done in the war, had nothing to do with her distancing and emotional apathy but not even she herself was sure of that at the time. In the present she knew it, she had thought long and hard about it, and she remembered with regret not having stopped the spiral of guilt in which Edelgard descended that could have been prevented with just one conversation. 

It was too late now and she had to focus on beating this monster. If that monster was her own past decisions or the physical vampire who was trying to tear them apart she didn't know. 

The vampire was looking for someone easy to attack, someone already tired of the intense tug of the battle that already lasted more than an hour. 

Ferdinand was chosen. It only took a strong blow to throw him to the ground. Pain, a puncture in all his side. It felt wet, too wet and open. Between the bruise and his own screams he had heard a crack.

"Ferdinand!" 

Footsteps on wet ground and Hubert looking into his eyes. If the normally stoic and impassive man was looking at him like that he didn't want to know the damage he had suffered. A certain apex of humor took his body and he placed his bleeding hand on the man's cheek. With a smile he whispered. 

“Do you remember when you turned me? It was something like this.” 

If what he saw in his eyes were tears, he was already delirious. Ferdinand doubted that vampires like him could die of physical injuries, but the pain was such that he was sure it would be impossible to wake up after this.

"Don't tell anyone." He continued. "But I think I love you." 

Eyes as wide as plates, songs of victory in the distance, and Ferdinand decided that this was the perfect time to surrender to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

The same day her housemates had left Dorothea opened her phone to check the messages. As she had promised, a message from Edie was waiting for her, left unread. 

_ Edelgard: Good morning _ ,

Dimitri and Felix have a son.

With love, Edelgard.

_ Dorotheatheprettiest:  _ what ?????

_ Dorotheatheprettiest:  _ Call me, I want to know how that happened.

She wasn't online, so she supposed it would take a while for Edie to read her messages. She waited for her ringing tone to sound in the living room, reading a book she had been given for her birthday long ago. Little could be read, because in a few minutes Petra came down the stairs. 

"Hey."

"Hi." She replied, noticing how good the new clothes Bernie had bought looked on her. Some shorts, a white top and a brown corduroy jacket, one or two shades darker than the pants. Because of the size of the shoulders it was from the men's section but it looked so wonderfully good that Dorothea couldn't stop looking it bend and hugging the figure of beautiful woman. 

"I just remembered something that happened to me in Brigid," she began, staring into her eyes. Dorothea noticed the new tattoos she didn't have before leaving. She had thought that this would be another session of learning the language, but apparently not. “I was in a market, it was the first week and I saw some earrings that would fit you very well.”

“Oh? Can I see them?"

Petra handed her the small bag. "They may not be your style, but they reminded me of what you wore when you worked at the opera."

Dorothea took them out of the tiny bag and, at a glance, could see that what her friend was saying was true. Gold, with small stones that highlighted the color of her skin. She could swear that she had had very similar ones a long time ago.

"They are perfect." She said taking off the ones she already had, trying on the new ones. "Thank you." 

She tried to get close to kiss her cheek but Petra's hurried backing up outperformed anything she had done in her life. " _ Strange, _ " she thought, but didn't give it much importance. 

“I tried to buy a souvenir from everyone, I didn't want to leave anyone out.”

That made her feel less special, but at least the earrings were still pretty. 

"Can you take a picture of me?" She asked, knowing that looking in a mirror would be useless. Petra, somewhat surprised, took her phone from her pocket and proceeded to comply with her request. The singer was as beautiful as the first day she had seen her singing, and it seemed just as unreal as that day she saved her life with just a few words. 

Her love had not begun immediately, when they really met she had too many things to think about and that sank her into bad states of mind. But the knowledge that she was the most beautiful woman she had ever seen in her life was a constant in her relationship with Dorothea. She had only been ten years in love, a short time for a vampire. But every moment she looked at her felt as if her heart was going to explode and any physical contact was the greatest of burns. 

"You look wonderfully." She whispered, showing Dorothea the picture. The smile of enthusiasm and the brightness of her eyes was something she would remember forever, just like the picture she just took. 

She thanked that the other woman's ringing tone rang throughout the house, because otherwise she was sure that she was going to kiss her at that moment. Dorothea hasty left, saying something about Edelgard. 

Oh, Edelgard. 

Dorothea ran to silence the device, bringing it to her ear as soon as she could. 

“Edie.”

“Dorothea.” She said, but she could hear a “Hello Dorothea!” with Byleth's voice in the background. Seconds later Edelgard asked her a moment to say goodbye to her beloved, who was going for a walk. 

"How do they have a child?" She finally asked the acclaimed question. 

"Something of a fairy queen..." She sighed. “They have even recommended it to us.”

“Oh? And are you going to ask her?” 

“No, not for now.” She didn't see her, but Dorothea could feel the faint blush on Edie. “But Byleth seems very happy talking to Glenn. Glenn is the son's name." She clarified quickly. 

"You would be very good mothers." She replied, thinking about how beautiful the vampire would look.

"Don't get too far ahead, please..." Dorothea laughed out loud, but Edelgard simply continued the conversation. 

"Apparently Sylvain has one too, just like Marianne and Hilda."

Dorothea didn't answer for a few seconds. When Edelgard asked her worried if she was still there, she spoke again. 

“I think… they had told us about them. But they hadn't specified that they were their children, so at least I had assumed they were their neighbors or something. ”

“Now that you say it… it makes sense…”

A noise from a closing door warned Dorothea that surely her conversation was going to finish. It was confirmed by Edie's apologies, and after the sound of the end of the call, she was left alone with the overwhelming silence in her room. Despite her recent fixation on Petra, she had not overcome her love for Edie. 

She stared at her bed and decided that the best thing she could do was follow Linhardt's advice and avoid her problems. 

Without four of its inhabitants the mansion had been terribly quiet for the past few days. Caspar and Linhardt spent most of their time outside, and on numerous occasions Bernadetta accompanied them. This left Dorothea and Petra alone. It was not uncomfortable, but more often than not they were analyzing any action of the other. When they drank together, when they entertained themselves playing a game or simply held each other on the couch while they talked about going through life and remembering past moments. 

One of the days Dorothea was especially down both Petra and Dorothea had been together when Edelgard called, telling them about Ferdinand's status (recovering quickly and with Hubert always by his side), and how bad was her situation. She had always been shy about her feelings, but trust built over centuries let her show vulnerability.

Her feeling of guilt for Byleth had always been a constant for a long time, but they had returned with all the strength of old thanks to the children's conversation. The woman had tried to hide it from her travel companions, and although Byleth had only noticed it slightly, Lysithea looked at her from the distance, worried while they waited for their wounds to heal and enjoyed some kind of holiday together to revive the friendship again. 

It had been in the evening, while Dorothea put make up on Petra. The phone started ringing and the singer put it on speaker. 

"Are you all right?" It was the first thing she asked, and when Edie answered Petra offered to leave. 

"It isn't necessary, it's better if two people listen to me."

While Edelgard was convincing herself again how she had ruined Byleth's life, both women looked uncomfortable. Sadness was easily transmitted through words, especially when they saw a door that they hadn't even thought of crossing close. 

"There... there may be some way." Dorothea tried to comfort her.

"Don't give me false hopes." She said, unpleasant. "But thanks. I appreciate you so much, I hope you know." They could hear a small laugh. "My eyes are red, can you believe it?" When no one laughed at the joke, she continued speaking, somewhat calmer but returning to the decayed tone. "Still, I prefer not to pass this curse to another generation."

Dorothea could understand that. She felt the same. Petra looked at her slightly, trying to remember each of her features. She didn't know what to think about the subject. 

When the call was over and the two were alone again, an awkward silence filled the room. Petra thanked Edelgard for not mentioning what Claude had said. The three felt equally monstrous, perhaps Dorothea and Edelgard the most, and remind her that they were the same beings that those cruel monsters would do little to maintain the cloud of happiness in which Dorothea was lately after having the accident. 

Petra looked at Dorothea. With such a melancholy look in her eyes she was tempted to comfort her physically, but she kept her hugs and kisses for another time and offered her shoulder and her words . "Okay," she said, knowing what was happening to the singer. “You can cry here.”

“I feel bad for Edelgard, but I can't stop thinking about myself.”

“It's fine.” She said and Dorothea let her head rest on her shoulder.

"What are you thinking?" She spoke again after a while. She kept caressing her, and with Dorothea so still that she seemed asleep, she didn't expect an answer. 

“In my mother. And in Manuela.” 

Her voice was so weak that she had to bring her ear closer to understand what she had said.

“You've never told me anything about your mother.”

“I don't, I'm used to talking a lot about being a singer for the opera. They are not pretty memories. ” 

“If you want you can tell me about her. Of what you were before coming to the mansion. You told me about the opera, the annoying men and the voluminous bouquets of flowers. Even I was tempted to send you more than one.” She laughed, gently stroking Dorothea's cheek. "But I know very little about your human life, actually"

"There is not much to tell, really ... As I said, they are not beautiful memories."

She did not want to press her, but if they were really causing her anguish, she wanted to help alleviate her sorrows. She fiddled with the delicate fingers of the woman who contrasted so much with her own. If she let her, she would kiss each one of them with the care and affection associated with the princes of Fódlan's legends. She couldn't resist kissing her, but only a small one at the corner of her lips. 

Dorothea thanked that in her position Petra couldn’t see her astonished face. She didn't complain, all this care and attention made her feel what she hadn't felt in a long time. The tension that ran through her body at Petra's advances made her forget completely how little she thought she deserved this. 

"If you need to talk about it, I'm always here."

She couldn't resist. 

“My mother was a fairly common woman, she was not especially pretty. Brown hair, brown eyes, pearl smile... Or at least I would say that if I could remember her face. All I know is that she was always sick, from one job to another increasingly precarious. I went out and played with the street children, you know? In the slums, like everyone else.”

Petra just said an “hm" to let her know that she kept listening while massaging her hair. 

“At night she always had time to sing, lullabies, popular songs, of all kinds, and I followed her. I practiced a lot by her side. The next thing I remember was that she couldn't go to work anymore, her coughs were horrible and sometimes there was even blood. Every day I saw her lying in bed, weak while begging me not to come near her, I couldn't afford get sick too. The neighbors didn't approach me when I asked for a piece of bread.”

“That is horrible... ”

Dorothea laughed, but was full of pain. “It's what happens when your neighbor is infected with tuberculosis. We both lost a lot of weight. I think hers was because of the disease, while I looked like a sack of bones for trying to give her all the food I found. ”

She omitted the “steal". Her story was already too sad to admit that she had had to resort to that to survive. But still she was glad that this was the most indecent way in which she had to get food, because she was very aware that if she had remained in the streets until a little later, her adolescence would have ended up very, very bad otherwise.

As she had told Petra, she didn't remember much, but her visions of her mother every night trying to cover herself with ragged rags and covered in bruises and so on would be one of the sights that would never be erased from her memory. And yet, so shattered, she still had the strength to hold her in her arms and sing to her to finally sleep in peace. 

“At that time I was not an orphan yet, but I lived as one. I learned to sing in the streets, and since my mother died they threw me out of the house until Manuela found me one day in the market years later, I spent day after day trying to earn my food in the most honest way as a child without resources can. ”

“ It's horrible. Dorothea, you didn't deserve any of that. ”

“Why, why didn't I deserve it? Why was I a soul too good and hardworking to be on the streets? Is it that the rest of the children who accompanied me and gave me crumbs when they saw that I could not even walk, did they deserved it? "

She paused for a breath of air. 

"I hated to see the same nobles who had kicked me and broken teeth in the streets sympathize with me and my past while surrounded by luxuries and jewelry. The real rats were not me, dirty and from the streets, but them. Worse, they were parasites that lived off the misfortune of others, with their superiority complex every time they saw me. ”

Petra was shocked. Dorothea had never told her this, she had never seen tears like these in her eyes. Angry, full of anger against a system that had failed, both her and many. With her throat caught by the sudden burst of the other woman, she didn’t dare to say anything.

"I'm sorry." She tried to calm her sobs. “Sometimes I feel guilty, guilty of having left the streets and not the others. Guilty of looking for a rich husband instead of being as brave as Edie and trying to knock down the entire system that ruined my life. ”

“As brave as she was, She's royalty. Yours would have been much riskier. Trying not to starve is not coward. ”

“There are still orphans. Poor, do you know how sad their faces are every time I approach to spend time with them? To give them new clothes, because the orphanage is not able to keep them or the building ”

“No… I didn't know you were visiting the orphanage… ”

“ I try to go alone, so they don't get too scared.”

The silence returned. Dorothea, in her attack of nerves and feelings, couldn't stand it. She felt her heart bombard a blood that was not her, every little vein in her head threatening to explode as she felt everything close around her. She was going to explode and she had to say something, because otherwise she felt that she wouldn't be able to speak anymore.

"When Manuela found me and washed me, she combed my hair and put on makeup on me, I wanted to believe that that was how my mother's touch felt. Just as gentle and affectionate, detonating responsibility and maturity." 

Petra watched the small circles Dorothea traced with her hand on her skin. Almost accompanying her story, so full of repressed feelings for many, many years. She keep hugging the woman to make her feel better, and she hoped it would work. 

"But every night I remembered how all that had vanished and I was not able to remember her face, her gestures or her eyes. I didn't remember how her hands felt when she wrapped me at night or caressed my cheek, and those of Manuela felt so good, so homely, I assumed that my mother's had felt that way too. " 

"I don't remember my father either." She whispered.

All these stories of parents reminded her of when she saw him go for the last time. And when the news came back, she in her grandfather's lap. She cried for a whole week, and couldn’t even attend his funeral because they didn’t return his body until many years later. It finally happened in her coronation, she remembered it well. Edelgard in the main seats, holding Byleth's hand. 

A symbolism of the closeness of the two countries, Brigid now independent. 

Everything seemed so normal that no one would suspect that a short time later she would return to the side of the black eagles crawling to find a depressed and lonely emperor, a far cry from the one she'd seen during the days after the war. 

"She’s taking care of some things." Edelgard had told her when she had dared to ask her about Byleth. She never dared to ask about how sick her face looked, though.

"I'm sorry." Dorothea turned to look at her with eyes that would make anyone melt. She felt her pain in herself. 

"In the months after his death I could at least look at the paintings. I stayed whole nights in front of his portraits, as if in some miraculous way the spirits were going to take pity on me and lend me one last conversation with him." 

She noticed Dorothea squeeze her hand. 

"When they brought me to the empire I cried night and day too, at first. Edelgard and the others helped me, they helped me feel more comfortable and remotely at home. But nothing could calm the horror of knowing that little by little his features were disappearing from my mind. When I came back I had to ask my grandfather who the man in the portrait was. "

"I think I met my father. " 

" Do you? "

"He was ... he was one of the nobles who gave me flowers. The noble of the house where my mother had worked before she had me, she always spoke so well of him. When I first saw him I saw a ruthless nobleman, another one. Can you believe that he even sent me a marriage request? "

"That's disgusting. "

Dorothea was starting to feel better, her tears were starting to dry and she laughed at Petra's comment enough to joke. 

"Well, he was a nobleman. It's not that weird in his world."

"Good thing none of our friends are like that. " 

“Fortunately.”

Silence returned, but this time the singer looked to distant corners of the wall. With a placid, calmer smile, it seemed an almost celestial vision. It looked like she was going to keep quiet but she spoke immediately.

"Manuela not only guided me, she protected me from the most daring men when I was nothing more than a girl, she taught me day and night the most difficult parts of the songs. Also, and as embarrassing as this sounds, to read and write.” She looked at Petra waiting for an exaggerated reaction, but when she didn't receive it she kept talking."I lied a lot to the opera director when he gave me the instructions and the script the first day, and Manuela, who saw the sadness in my eyes because I believed that they were going to kick me out, she used all her free time to teach me. She was a good teacher, attentive and careful. "

"Manuela sounds like a wonderful person off stage. "

"She was." Dorothea confirmed. "She was a disaster when it came to her love life, to order, and to control herself with alcohol, but not all of us are perfect. In a way I think I have inherited good and bad things from her. "

" _ You have nothing bad."  _ Petra thought, but it was to embarrassing to say out loud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im back!!!! this is something i wrote back in february, i only corrected some things.... this is only half of a chapter in my docs, so hopefully there will be at least one more update, i just have to translate the thing. I have the whole fic planned, but i would have to write at least 4 more chapters and i dont know if i will have the energy to do so... sorry! and sorry if there's any mistakes


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edelgard and Lysithea talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last thing i wrote back when i was writing this fic, and since its halloween I wanted to post it... Im never going to finish this, but I hope everyone enjoyed it.

The next day Bernadetta stayed at the house. The same did Caspar and Linhardt, who occupied the living room all day. When the human, somewhat decayed and looking bad, went down to be with them, Linhardt looked at her strangely. 

Petra and Dorothea also seemed to notice, and so did Caspar. The smell of fresh blood was remarkable in the room, and he approached worriedly. 

“Are you bleeding?”

“Eh? Yes…” She said, as she continued walking towards the kitchen. “I'm going to get something to eat.”

“What happened? Where are you hurt?”

It took Bernadetta a few moments to realize what he meant. She panicked, babbled at first, regaining her composure seconds later.

“I am not hurt! It's… I’m on my period.”

Linhardt felt dumb. Sure, she was an human. It had been a long time since anyone in the house had… bleed. They’re all dead, after all. Caspar raised his voice. 

"I'm so sorry, I know how much it can hurt."

Bernadetta looked surprised. "You had it?" 

He nodded. "I am what you young people call trans." 

Dorothea, who had been trying to quench her thirst for blood while Petra calmed her with a hand on her thigh, joined the conversation.

“We are surprisingly diverse in this house. Me, Byleth, and Edelgard love women... ” She said as she looked at Petra, as if trying to ask her.

"Me too." She confirmed. 

Linhardt, regaining his remaining pride, was the next to speak. “All the men in the house like their own gender too, to my knowledge.”

Bernadetta was left out on her way to the kitchen. Thanks to her recent discovery she finally knew why she felt comfortable with them, but that made it no less unpleasant to talk about it. She thanked that while the conversation continued to talk about who LGBT people they knew nobody mentioned her. Dorothea looked at her several times, smiling at her as if inviting her in. She always denied with her head, needing time. 

"I love you so much," Caspar said as he kissed Linhardt. “But I would like to talk more with my trans friends. I keep talking to Ashe a lot, but Ignatz is always painting and Felix always responds to me in monosyllables or after 10 days. ”

“I understand.” He replied nodding. “I felt the same when you thought you were straight.” Everyone laughed, except Bernadetta. She could feel the light environment but she still didn’t dare to participate.

“Sorry but I still think I can fall in love with a woman. But you will always be the only person in my life. ”

“I forgive you.”He said before giving him a kiss. “What I will never forgive you was that you thought you were really going to grow taller than me.”

“Hey! I fully trusted you, you said so! and you lied to me! ” 

Trying not to seem very intrusive, she quickly looked away at the two women, feeling ashamed in a good way when Dorothea laughed at her. She got up to take her hand and took her to the sofa with her, hugging her with one arm, the three of them tight enough in the seat.

For the first time in a long time she felt a warmth in her chest, and assumed that this was what people meant by saying "feel at home."

"By the way," Caspar began to speak. “Ashe told me that he was coming to visit with Ingrid.”

“They are people from the blue lions.” Petra clarified to Bernadetta.

“I haven't talked to Ingrid for a while. When are they going to arrive?”

“In a couple of days.”

“I'm glad, but I wish she had told me herself…” Dorothea said, sounding disappointed, and got up. The human looked at her with almost need, but when Dorothea invited her to go to the kitchen she took her hand. Petra followed them, admitting later that she did not want to third wheel for the two men. 

“Bernie, I'm going to make you a cup of tea.” 

“Thank you, but it's not necessary…” She said.

Petra took a small red bottle from the refrigerator, drawing the attention of the human. “I always see you drinking more than others, is it for any particular reason?”

This shook the vampires, who looked at each other. Dorothea remembered all the occasions when she had noticed and said nothing. She didn't want to believe that her theory was true because it would be horrible for the other woman, but in a way it would make her feel understood. 

The Brigid queen stopped drinking and said nothing for a few seconds, confused. "...No, there is none. Why do you say so? ”

Despite the slightly defensive stance Bernadetta continued, ignoring the fear that was beginning to run through her body. There was no reverse.

"It's nothing. I just found it interesting. ”

None spoke again until Dorothea finished making tea. 

Petra had been thoughtful looking at the bottle. She had noticed it herself, but preferred not to give it importance. It had not seemed such a significant amount of extra blood to what her companions drank. Was it really enough to be noticed by someone who had spent little time in the mansion? What did the others think of this?

Dorothea came over and took the bottle from her hands. For a second she thought she was going to kiss her but when she retired to leave her again the fridge his illusions broke. Maybe she should go back to Brigid so she could stop thinking about her every second of the day, but she didn't want to leave her alone again without any emotional support. Lately she seemed willing to talk to Edelgard and Byleth and regain all previous confidence, but she could never be sure. 

Thinking about Edelgard's words, giving her encouragement, she took a breath of fresh air and calmed her thoughts. 

Petra would tell her at some point in the next two weeks, and no matter the answer, she would still be her shoulder to cry on if Dorothea needed it.

* * *

In the inn of the small town Edelgard prepared to go for a walk with Byleth. Despite her inner turmoil, dhe hadn't said anything. How could she do it, when every time Byleth played or trained with Glenn she looked so happy? 

As impossible as it might be, she would try to find a solution to the problem. Or she would tell Byleth that she didn't want children. It wasn't a total lie, it didn't matter to her after all.

Upon leaving her room he found Dedue, whom she thanked again for protecting her numerous times during the battle. The man had won one or two new scars, just like her, but at least her own would disappear forever. 

Byleth was waiting for her outside, looking at the landscape of the night. When they were in one of the highest hills in the town, they could see all the houses and their lights below. There were not many, making the starry sky still visible. 

Edelgard took Byleth's hand trying to show her a calm face. It was what she deserved, after all. After deciding whether to go through the forest or the city, they decided on the forest, a long time passed in which they preferred to observe each other and the treetops rather than talk. 

It was, unexpectedly, Byleth that broke the silence. 

"You know," she began speaking, with a bit of improper nervousness from her. Edelgard had learned that this meant she was going to say something personal. "Since I came back from Beret and Jeritza's house I haven't stopped thinking about my father's diary. What am I really, not only vague speculations taken from riddles spoken in the most confusing way." 

"You know I'm always here to listen." She responded, and it was true. What she couldn't promise was to not let her down again and again. 

"What I discovered with Claude was fantastic, really. But that trip was more spiritual than anything else. We took care of the demons, that's true..." 

Edelgard wondered if Byleth was trying to remind her of all those things that reminded her of when she wasn't enough or really wanted to get somewhere with all her words. 

"But the whole matter of a child is clearing my mind. Maybe it's a new stage in my life what I need to leave the previous one behind." 

Oh

She really had fucked up Byleth's life. She already knew it before, but every word that came out of her mouth did nothing but confirm it. She tried to hide her face full of pain and disappointment, anger and hatred towards herself. Her heart sunk in her chest and some nausea she had not felt for many, many years. 

Byleth had continued talking about her dreams and what she would do with a child. When she noticed the sepulchral silence of her beloved she squeezed her hand, asking her with a look if she was okay. Edelgard nodded slightly, averting her eyes. She wasn't going to cry, but she didn't want Byleth to notice all the suffering in her eyes. 

"I'm excited too." She lied "It just reminds me of my siblings." 

Byleth was the one who looked away this time. "I'm sorry."

Not wanting to see her so sad when moments before she had been so happy, Edelgard grabbed her face and gave her a kiss. "don't worry."

" _ I will find a way _ ."

When they returned Hubert received them. His red eyes over the tremendous concern for the other man had not yet disappeared, despite the millions of times they had tried to calm him. 

"Ferdinand has woken up," he said, and neither of them lost sight of the nervous way in which his fingers played. 

"That's good."

"Yes, it is. Lorenz is with him now. ”

“Then why are you so nervous?” Byleth asked.

The man looked at the floor, thinking about what to answer. 

"We've talked and... now we're a couple."

The two women looked at each other and then at Hubert, surprised. They didn't think it would be so soon.

"Congratulations." Edelgard was the first to speak, approaching and giving him a hug. "You deserve to be happy."

Then it was Byleth's turn, who just placed her hand on his shoulder and smiled at him. She didn't need to say more, he blushed slightly and tried to hide it with a nervous cough.

"Dorothea will be so happy when she finds out," Edelgard said when returning to her room.

Dorothea was talking with Ferdinand over the phone. It had begun with a message from the man, finally awake, just after the first day conversation with Hubert.

Feeerdinand: do.roteaaaa 

Feeerdinand: i hace. to 

t ell you a thing 

Dorotheatheprettiest: have you already woken up ??? congrats

Ferdinand: ye s

Ferdinand: the 1 thing hubert said to mw was "I hate yu."

Ferdinand: BUT before I pass.d out 

I told h im

I loev you

Ferdinand: I don t know 

what I haaave done to. mak him hste me

but now he hass go.ne out for a glass! of blood.

Ferdinand: surprisingly... despite beeing i.n bed f 

or several days I dooomt feel weak

Dorothea: maybe he gave you blood? 

Dorothea: you know, biting you 

Dorothea: and about telling him I love you while you faint… 

Dorothea: If Petra had done the same to me I would also say I hate you when she wakes up

Dorothea: you are too romantic in the bad sense of the word. 

Ferdinand: Petra, uhhh ?

Ferdinand: I . thought ou were goin g to sa.y edelgard

Dorothea: anyway,

Dorothea: did he tell you something else?

* * *

On the last day of her stay, Lysithea separated her from the group to speak with her. It was somewhat abrupt, and Edelgard was inclined to protest at first. When Lysithea put her finger to her lips, she simply followed her to a more private place.

"You've been a bit distant lately."

Edelgard nodded. There was no need to hide anything with her. "Byleth looks so happy with Glenn…"

"You must have realized the problem, I guess."

"Yes. There have been times when, like a ray of light and hope, I have thought of Marianne and Hilda's daughter. How she is half a vampire and has grown up, but to know that surely it has been her fairy nature that has kept his monstrosity aside and not a real possibility of a vampire growing up... "

Lysithea looked at her with sad eyes, knowing what she was going to say. She herself had seen hope in the baby's birth, but a little research shattered all her dreams. There was no chance of her growing up, not her or the imaginary child Byleth desired. 

"But thanks to that I have thought..."

"What have you thought about? Is that why you don't give up? " Lysithea said, almost offended that Edelgard still believed. Sometimes Edelgard's determination made her seem little more than a madwoman with her head too high in the clouds. But she knew better than anyone that the ancient emperor always looked for the most realistic solutions and paths.

"If we can use a little... fairy DNA, if you can call it that, to stop the disease that is vampirism ... maybe..." 

"Edelgard." She stopped her. "You're basing all of this on an assumption about a girl you don't know."

"Yes." She nodded. "But are you sure it won't work?"

"Yes. It didn't work for me, and it won't work for a child whose parents are both vampires. " She raised her voice.

The silence that continued crept into the room and Edelgard lowered her hand from her chin. Averting her gaze, she returned to her awkward posture, haunted face. Lysithea had already given up. She didn't need Edelgard to search for something where there was nothing. 

And at the same time she felt inside she could trust her again to do the impossible. It was the latter that led her to reach out and hug Edelgard to comfort her. Edelgard was shocked, never having received this affection from the other woman.With her head resting on the other woman's shoulder, she whispered. 

“I know you want to believe, and I trust that you will. But I don't need words of hope or looks of pity. I just wanted to make you feel better so that Byleth wouldn't worry. "

Edelgard laughed a little, wryly. “Talking about it will never make me feel better, especially when I have failed her again. What if she leaves my side again? What if our relationship fails again? I don't want that to happen. My heart wouldn’t endure it. So I have to find a solution. "

"I trust you." Lysithea replied. “But I also think she won't leave you for this. In her eyes I see too much love for something so trivial to make her abandon you. "

"It is not trivial." Edelgard argued. "But thanks."

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my native language and this was mainly translated by google docs so tell me if there are any mistakes.
> 
> I've drawn a few things for this fic but im too lazy to add the pics sorry


End file.
